hi there,
so this is my situation: I have always had a difficult relationship with my body due to being a chubby kid and pressure from my family to lose the extra weight from a young age. Now I'm 18 and decided a couple of months ago that I was going to start eating more consciously. I started cutting back on unhealthy foods and began to lose weight, which was great at first, but it kept getting more extreme. Now, I skip meals every day, when I eat more than one meal a day I feel extremely guilty, I can't eat big/normal portions in front of other people, the idea of going out to eat gives me extreme anxiety and just the thought of foods I used to love makes me feel sick.
I can feel myself falling into these habits deeper every day and I just can't stop it from getting worse even tho I don't wish to lose any more weight.
are these the beginning stages of an eating disorder?
if anybody has been through something similar or could give me any tips on how to overcome this, I would be so thankful if you left a comment.
I rarely reply to posts but yours hit a nerve. Please I beg you get help NOW. My problem started at aged 18 and I did exactly what you did. I had also been a chubby child. Now age 43 I am STILL in the grips of anorexia. 25 years of torture. My life has been ruined as a result - no husband, partner or children as anorexia has all consumed me. I thought it would be the answer - I'd stop being haunted by being a fat child and I'd get care love and attention. It backfired big time. I am lonely and still fighting. I've tried to end my life a few times and been hospitalised twice which was awful. I SO wish I'd got intensive help when I was 18 as maybe my life would have been very different. You won't be fat or chubby again I promise. But please be a healthy weight with a healthy mind. I don'tknow if you are in the UK or elsewhere. If you can't get help for free please see if there is any way you can go private. But get help NOW please. I am so sad that you are struggling and anorexia has already got its teeth into you but with help and determination you will be able to beat this easier than if you wa it 25 years when the grip is so much stronger.
Take care xx
Sorry you are still struggling - can empathise with you and share your desperation - I am now 58 and still battling to try and recover - and it is still a daily battle to force myself to eat the extras the dietician has told me I need to gain the weight that will help me recover - its so hard when you know that mentally your low weight is holding you in your anorexic thinking - and only by gaining weight can you escape these thought patterns - when it is these very thoughts that control your eating - so circular - and so hard to break from this trip round in circles in your head. Hope you are getting some support.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me, even though I knew my situation is not healthy, I think I underestimated what harm I could be doing. This really was a wakeup call to what the consequences to my habits could be. I'm so sorry you are struggling and hope you keep on fighting. Thank you for giving me a push in the right direction.