I have suffered with an eating disorder for approximately 5 years. I have only recently opened up to my family and certain friends. My husband has always been aware of the situation and is coping well with the way I am.
I work full time and some days I work 18 hour shifts sometimes with nothing to eat or something as little as a piece of fruit.
I deliberately restrict my food in take each day due to worrying I'll get fat. I'm 5ft 5 " and weigh 48kg but still feel I should be lighter.
I worry when I eat certain foods such as bread, if I eat bread one day my mind tells me I can't eat bread for another week. I'm scared to eat a biscuit or a chocolate. I refuse to socialise with friends and won't go out for meals with my husband.
I am extremely tired all of the time and now under investigation with a blood disorder I have chest pains a lot and a low pulse rate.
I've under gone 3 rounds of failed ivf and all of this has caused my mental health to go down hill. I'm currently under a psychiatrist and eating disorder clinic.
All I want is a baby but I need to get better first. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel I'm convinced I'm killing myself slowly. I drink excessive amounts of water believing it will act as a laxative and have recently tried making myself sick.
Is anyone going through or been through similar situation. I'm 34 years old and it's been going on for around 5 years.