I'm new here

I am married to an very lovely person which I love dearly. We have been married for 54 years with a lot of ventures and 2 wonderful sons. Four years ago my lovely wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer dementia mid stage. This disease runs in the family(mother, aunt and 3 sisters). I had hoped that my wife would be the exception.

We moved just recently to be near our oldest son and family as I knew the time would come shortly I would need his help. physically and mentally. This has been difficult move for my wife with new surroundings but she understands the need to be near our son and family.

My wife also has NPH. Three months ago a shunt was installed to help remove some of the fluid accumulating in the brain ventricles. This pressure adds to the Alzheimer dementia affect, short term memory and balance. There has been some improvement with short term memory and balance since the surgery.

I have to do the laundry, shopping, cooking, medicine monitoring and calendar entries, functions which she handled so well before the onset of this disease.

I had convinced my self I could handle this without much help, but the last week has brought strong doubts how far I can go it alone. I feel that I need a local support group to help me through this.

6 Replies

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  • Dear Captain, my heart goes out to you. I too am relatively new to this. My husband was diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer's just a few months ago. I started seeing signs (also runs in his family) about a year ago, but the rapidity in which it progressed in the last few months was astounding. I finally convinced out two sons that something was wrong. One visit to the VA was enough for the diagnosis. Medications have helped to slow the progression, but it still continues on. We are now in the midst of a move to be closer to our sons and other family members who can help. He is 72 and I am 67. For the last 10 years my husband has been my care-giver, I am physically handicapped in a wheel chair. Now things have drastically changed. I have become his care-giver. I'm sure you will find this site as helpful as I have. It helps to talk to others who are going through the same situations. My prayers will be with you. I'm here, just leave a message (in reply) and I'll get back to you. Hang on, the road may be rough, but the rewards are many. God bless. Joyce

  • Thanks for this post I'm in similar situation but grateful that I'm fit and strong. I really admire how you manage but some how one just does, my prayers with you too, yes indeed a very rough road and no doubt , as you say, rewards are there

  • Hi please accept my sympathy, I empathise entirely, in my case it is husband who has Alzheimer's, we too have been married 54 years. Husband is on medication which helps but I know there is no cure and I just hope I can cope (living each day as it comes) My husband is very reclusive and gets unsettled even if phone rings or a knock on door . I'm pleased that so far I'm managing (well sort of) . like husband I'm also on the introspective side so at the moment not ready for a support group - however "never say never" . He also has physical probs. but believe me a walk in the park compared with the mental issues. Like most women of my age I'm used to doing the domestic things and I admire you so much for taking this on, don't think husband would have coped had I been the dementia patient but sometimes needs must.

    May I wish you A good Xmas and New Year, difficult but "we CAN cope"....somehow.

  • Good morning. I am sorry you and your wife are going through this. I have been caring for my 86-year-old father who now has severe Alzheimer's. I moved him into my home when he advanced to the moderate stage. I found a support group through our health care provider although I feel I've gotten great support right here on this website. Others here have answered my questions and I am very willing to help you in any way I can as well. Also, do not hesitate to hire a caregiver assistant to help you even if it's only for a few hours or for a few days a week. As the disease advances it is very difficult to support your loved one by yourself. My husband helps me A LOT, but I have a caregiver to help me when he is at work. Finally use your caregiver, friends and your son to allow yourself some respite even if it's only for a couple of hours. I hope this helps you. God Bless.

  • Captain I understand completely your feelings. My husband of 50 years has MCI but the neurologist is treating him as if he had Alzheimer's. It also runs in his family. He is 7 years older than myself and I was just diagnosed with CLL earlier this year. We have both been independent but I can see that things are going to change. Currently he realizes that he is not the person he once was - brilliant - and lets me take over the bill paying, etc. and the medicine given to him has helped a lot. But I also know that it only works for a length of time and then I don't know what I'll do. Our daughter would help but she lives in another state - and our son is still working. A friend told me something recently that really hit home with me - the reason that nursing homes have 3 shifts is because ONE person cannot take care of another person 24/7 without help. It made me feel less guilty even though I'm not in the position you are in yet. I pray for you and your wife and hope that you find support on this site. Please take care of yourself.

  • What meds are given to him?

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