I am going to leave the forum soon. Ever since my partner who has had dementia the last couple years, was diagnosed, we have had nothing but bad luck. I'm still trying to get him into a nursing facility but because we are divorced, it has made things much harder for me to get what he needs. Even though I have power of attorney and am his documented health care surrogate. Eventually when the money runs out to pay for him to be in a facility, he would have to go on Medicaid to pay. When he was still able to make some decisions he decided to take some of his money and open a separate bank account for me so I would be able to stay in the house and still be there for him even if he's in a facility. Well with Medicaid if you do something like that and it wasn't done 5 years ago , you are accused of hiding something from them. This is our government who spent millions on the illegals who swarmed across our borders during the last administration. People have always been coming here illegally, as they do overseas, but I and the other legal citizens want our taxes to go to our legal citizens. Here my partner was frugal, as I am, and he wanted to be sure I could stay in our home. It's still legally my home. I've learned that if you are elderly, unless you have a whole lot of money and/or family to help in our situation, you really don't matter. We both have AFib and he has other health issues. His dementia is progressing pretty fast now. Hiring help is very expensive and for what we need would literally cost a few thousand dollars a month. Money that needs to go to a facility and I have had to hire an elder law attorney to see that he will get Medicaid. Another several thousand dollars. There are other things I have to deal with. How I have not had a stroke or heart attack from the stress of it all I don't know. But I am going downhill slowly. I have no idea what will happen.So no point in staying in the forum any longer. There is nothing else for me here. I want to thank all of you for the help I found when I joined a short few years ago. It's so amazing to be able to "talk" to someone else so far away in another country. To see how others are treated in the medical system they have. To get just a virtual hug, a kind word when we need it and there's no one else around to give it. John and I have no family help. He has a sister but she is now dealing with her husband having dementia. But they do have family to help. They are back in Kansas. John and I are in Florida. If we had more money we'd have been back home in Kansas, but life doesn't always work out for your favor. Once again, thank you. Thank you. Had I not found this forum I doubt that I would even still be here. I know that I am in the last chapter of my life and I'm so hoping to get John in a facility before the end of my chapter.
I wish you all a great final chapter, whenever that may be.💖
Belinda
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belindalore
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Belinda. I hate goodbyes. There is something here for you still, our love and support. You sound such a lovely caring person and this forum will be a lesser place without you. Keep strong and never give up hope. Sending love, hugs and prayers that things will change. Xxxx
Do you have access to a social worker who might be able to help. I would call your local hospital and see if they have a department that could offer solutions. Also the local heath department might lead you to someone with those credentials. Do you belong to a religious organization and if yes I would suggest calling them for help. Pull unknown strength like some people do to handle extraordinary emergency situations. Just don't give up. Every day is a blessing.
So very sad to read this, I really do feel your pain and understand that you are in a bad place at the moment. I live in the UK but can see the problems you are experiencing at the moment in America and we do have similar here however, we do have organisations that can help in some cases, our own GPs should have influence and then there is Age Concern, The Dementia Organisation and so on so maybe you could investigate such like organisations to seek help.....its knowing where to go, which direction and here I know but not in the USA so someone on this forum may have such information they could pass on. Also here, if the patient has a military background and so on. I send love and hugggs from across the pond. x
Sorry to hear of your troubles. You mentioned that there was nothing here for you,but also that it is amazing to be able to talk to others so far away. It might be an idea to stay connected at this time of upheaval. I wish you both the very best .xxx
Sad to see you leave Belindalore, i wish you and your husband the best of wishes, i know the difficulty you are in as i went through similar, as Jeanjeanie says maybe just switch of the function, and return sometime , my prayers are with you both.
I sympathise and agree with everything you have said. But please stay as you may find some comfort and it may be possible to help others who find themselves in your position.
Here in the UK we are faced with the same dilemma. Although I think 7 years is the length of time before our nasty governments proceed with house sales to fund care.
I really do wish you well and hope this awful time will pass.
Hi Belinda, I am so sorry you are going through this. I am from the UK but have worked legally in Florida since 1997. It’s so unfortunate here that they are not better equipped with organizations to help the elderly. With all the money you pay into healthcare you would think there would be lots more help for the elderly. It’s just so sad. I am now single and although still working worry about how I’m going to manage here when I’m eventually able to retire.
You mentioned you would be back in Kansas if things were different, is the cost of living there cheaper than FL? Do you own the home you live in? Maybe you could sell and move back to Kansas to be closer to family…..it’s just a suggestion. Home prices in FL are inflated so you might get enough money by selling and be able to buy a cheaper place in Kansas and have money left over for your partner’s needs and in Kansas they just might have better resources. I hope you stay well and get through this tough time.
I wish you luck in our new administration, if you are applying for any type of government assistance it will be very difficult. The doge regime has cut so many help programs and federal office staff and offices have been cut severely. It is already a nightmare here, last week I spent over 5 hours on hold with Social Security, finely got someone but was disconnected. Now we are having cuts to Social Security (not the checks yet) and Medicare and promised more to come.
agree with pmac and sorry for your situation, but please don't blame immigrants (legal or not) - apart from native Americans - all citizens descended from people who were desperate for a better life, just like today's mix of people. and the same goes for other countries
Don’t leave Belinda. You need the group now more than ever. You must be exhausted from looking after your husband on your own. I hope you can get some help soon. I disagree however with your blaming of immigrants, many of whom have risked their lives to escape conditions which we cannot even imagine, and are doing. Jobs which Americans don’t want to do. It is terrible that the wealthiest country in the world cannot provide basic services for its most vulnerable citizens. The fault lies, however, not with immigrants , but with a system of government which rewards rich political donors at the expense of the poor. How can a cabinet packed with billionaire donors possibly understand your life. This was epitomised by the recent statement of the billionaire commerce Secretary that his mother in law wouldn’t complain about a missed social security cheque and that only a fraudster would complain. Be angry. You are entitled. But direct your anger at the right people. Lobby your politicians. I’ll be thinking of you and hope to hear soon that your situation has improved,
Have to disagree with you on immigrants. Illegal only of course, all others should be made welcome. they have no right to be in a country undocumented. They provide cheaper than cheap labour for greedy employers who are also breaking the law. In the UK they are flooding in, we cannot cope with the influx , majority are young military age men who travel across several safe countries to get to soft touch Britain, many are criminals escaping justice in their own countries, drug dealers, child prostitution ring leaders etc. sorry to original person posting about health issue but as you commented on illegals I felt I had to voice my disagreement with your views. With respect.
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