A Reflective Piece - Living with Uncertainty

[CDreamer]

I am finding life quite hard at the moment, as I am sure, many of you are. There are so many uncertainties in our lives, so many decisions to make, risks to assess - will this drug help or hinder? Should I go for this treatment or that? Getting to speak let alone see a doctor right now is problematic and even if you are able to, time with them is short so no time to discuss fears or remember to ask all the questions you meant to. So where do we go to?

Here of course.

Having this forum is a lifeline for us all and hardly a day goes by without seeing a comment about just how important this forum is - so long may it continue.

Uncertainty increases fear, fear stresses our bodies and therefore our hearts. Some cope better than others, some feel threatened whenever challenged and lash out, any of us who have been on this forum for any length of time have at one time or another become the target of victriol, but on the whole, because we want to give back, because we believe that this should be an open forum which is not censored, where people can bring and talk about their fears and their hopes, their concerns and their ailments - we stick around even though we may not all still suffer AF. We do this because we take the long view because we have the experience and remember when we first came to this site, knowing nothing, feeling scared because there was something wrong with our hearts and that scared the shit out of us.

I don’t care what you believe or not believe about doctors, gods or others but I do care that you came here seeking something so I will do my best to offer my care, my thoughts and my empathy.

On the whole, this forum has been a safe refuge, more than just somewhere to come for advice or reassurance but a place to make friends, real friends who sometimes meet up not just Avatars in cyber space. Real people have real feelings. I love a good discussion but am aware that some don’t like others ‘falling out’. I get that but what I don’t get is playground bullies who go tell teacher without reasonable cause, as listed in the forum rules.

I get we will not always agree, I’ll agree to disagree with you and I will uphold your right to voice your views but not at the expense of others.

We are coming into the season of Goodwill to all, the winter solstice, a dark time, a time of festivals all over the world, whatever your god/s and beliefs so I pray that the light will return and that if we all hold hands together as we go through this dark period we will help each other find our way.

I am looking foward to reading the latest Christmas ditty from Jean and all the other contributors who crack a joke and make us smile. WE NEED MORE JOKES AND SMILES PEOPLE!

😘🥳🎶

[Paulbounce]

Nice post CD. I've got some jokes if you want to hear them - nah not a good idea so don't get me started.

Mine you a joke thread (I'm sure admins won't mind as it's nearly Christmas) is always a thought.

Hmm - leave it with me

Have a great day.

Paul

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to Paulbounce]

Oh no Paul, not men's boring long jokes!!! I turn into Margo Leadbetter from the Good Life when I hear them - just don't find them funny in the slightest, but that's just my viewpoint. I have to say that I do enjoy the children's type ones more though. So do go ahead I'm sure a lot of people will enjoy them. Wonder if we could make up some AF jokes - hmmm.

You have a great day too. Have been told twice this morning from different sources that its snowing in Yorkshire right now. Oh please come to Devon snow!

Jean

[Paulbounce in reply to jeanjeannie50]

Heh - I'll have a think Jean and see if I can find any jokes that will not get me booted off the forum lolz.

Have a lovely day - I think snow is on the way soon for us all

Paul

[CDreamer in reply to jeanjeannie50]

I now have an image of you Jean playing Margaret Leadbetter - well she had the lovely flowing gowns - what’s not to like?

[BobD Volunteer]

Bravo CD. Could not agree more.

What I find amazing is the number of members who seldom if ever post but read all the time. We often forget about these people (if we ever even knew they existed) but I have recently had several private messages from some of them thanking us for being there for them.

I think these difficult times have put a great strain on many people and a little understanding and a warm heart goes a long way.

[CDreamer in reply to BobD]

Absolutely Bob. You know there is always a cosy place in my heart for you. X

[Florence-Nightingale in reply to BobD]

Hi Bob I am one of those people who don’t post often but read posts all the time. Quite often I find answers to my questions just by reading people’s posts. Many years ago when I was in a right state having just being diagnosed with AF it was the people on this site that helped me the most, I have never forgotten the kindness shown. As you say understanding and compassion go a long way.

[jeanjeannie50]

What a lovely, thought provoking post CD. I think it sums up exactly how most of us think. We need to feel free to discuss anything on this forum and if we disagree, say so and then move on. No way should we argue that our point of view is right, difficult though that is. Nor should we attack any member personally with insulting remarks.

Yes, we certainly need more smiles and happy posts to cheer us up. Will start the Christmas song post.

Jean

[Hidden]

Well said, and that’s coming from someone who felt the need to tell teacher a few days ago..........

[Padayn01]

Guys I can’t imagine being without this forum it’s really had a massive impact on my life, when I had been diagnosed of AFIB in 2018 I was lost, alone and scared but coming on here it’s like God lead me to this forum I see you guys like a family would love to meet you all one day when this pandemic quitens down

[baba]

Thoughtful as always CDreamer.

[Paul0208]

What a fantastic and thoughtful piece. Thank you!

[Finvola]

Lovely post CD.

It makes me think back to the person I was when I joined, scared out of my wits and certain I was going to die. This forum helped me so much as I am sure it continues to help others and my first tentative post answered by BobD and Beancounter and others made me realise 'I'm normal - just different'.

Long may it continue.

[CDreamer in reply to Finvola]

Wise words, as always.

[Hidden in reply to Finvola]

Communicated with Beancounter yesterday, he’s alive and well and very busy!

[CDreamer in reply to Hidden]

Pleased to hear that.

[Finvola in reply to Hidden]

Good for him - still globetrottinh hopefully - glad to hear news of him.

[Hidden in reply to Finvola]

Like most of us, this year his wings have been severely clipped but I sensed a degree of optimism for next year. He’s still listed as a member and he still pops in to take a peek so it should be possible to message him........

[Hilly22]

Hear hear CD, well said 😊

[Ochg]

Wonderful post CD. When AF appeared in my life 9 months ago, like so many of us at that time, I was scared witless. Then I found this fabulous community, and you have all really been my salvation. Long may it remain. 🙂Thank you all for being there. Xx

[GrannySmithgs5]

Well said CD ......... and peace to all x

[Jalia]

Well said CD! ( As a former (?) yachtswoman are you following the Vendee?...very exciting as my daughter's sister in law is racing )

[CDreamer in reply to Jalia]

Yes Julia I certainly am following. OMG which boat? I rate the women in this race, they seem to have gone for the less radical, more proven designs. Did you read about the herioc rescue? Such magnificent seamanship. The human spirit prevails and so inspirational. If they can cope with all of that what have we to complain of? X

[Jalia in reply to CDreamer]

Yes . I'm mightily impressed. True adventurers and so courageous. I've been following it avidly especially the rescue. The boat is Medallia !!

[CDreamer in reply to Jalia]

Oh she writes very well, some lovely pieces.

[Jalia in reply to CDreamer]

Yes she does write beautifully. Writes for Yachting World.

[ramblerbaz3]

Great post CDreamer,I was diagnosed with PAF at the end of September this year & found this site & the forum. It has been a great help with so many excellent & caring posts. I look on here every day & enjoy the many comments & help given by all.

Thanks to all on here !!!

[Kaz747]

👏👏👏👏👏👏😘

[irene75359]

I agree wholeheartedly! I am ever thankful I found this site (5 years ago now) and remain so grateful to those on here who take the time and make the effort to ease the burden of AF by sharing their knowledge. Having visited other sites for advice on family-related illnesses I can say without a shadow of doubt this is one of the best. Thank you all so much.

[DutchCloud]

Very nice post CDreamer, so glad I found this site, very wel informed by all the good reply’s; made me ‘stronger’ to go for a second opinion with my ‘huisarts’ (= 🇾🇪Dutch for home doctor) about taking anticoagulants; had 1X Pafib 3 months ago; hope the best that it was the only one ☺️..cold weather here in Holland; maybe snow with Xmas 🥶 wish you all the best🎄( BTW; I follow the ESC AF manager app, good👌)

[Ianp66]

Brilliant post CD, the same, I still pop in and out as one of the lucky ones having had a successful ablation. Humour is what keeps us going and I try chipping in with any support I can offer, and the odd bare bottom balloon dance if anyone wants a video! Joking as I think that may cause even more trauma, it's hard enough this year on its own without afib and other worries most have, but as a group, the warmth and help and advice I've had the time spent here is priceless.

[CDreamer in reply to Ianp66]

Hope you caught the joke thread that Paul started a few days ago - your best AF joke please.

Jean’s got her excellent Xmas song up - still working on mine. Take care.

[Ianp66 in reply to CDreamer]

I didn't CD but il take a peek, hope your well and take care too, and as the kids say "are we there yet", vaccine on its way, so we nearly are hopefully , one less worry for the elderly and complex medical groups. Il go check my balloons are inflated and drop in on Paul's joke post 😉

[Cha275rL]

Lovely comment CD. This site has really helped to calm me down after learning I had AF, and thinking I was going to die, so thanku all.Here’s a wee joke:

Man with a stutter jailed for twelve years. The judge says he’s unlikely to complete his sentence. 🙃

[CDreamer]

👍😂

[GrannyE]

you are absoluely right CD. We all come here for reassurance and information and understanding. No-one who has not had AF quite understands what it is like and as you said we need to hold hands and support each other and jokes can help to take one's mind of things. Thanks everyone.

[souljacs4]

Such a heartfelt post CD and sums up my feelings exactly I had an appointment with my cardiologist yesterday he said how nice is was to have such a well informed patient so I told him about this site and how helpful everyone is Its nearly six years since my AF started and I really cant imagine how I would have coped without you all So thank you so much Have a wonderful Christmas and stay safe and well.