Suffering

[li17]

Bring the kids to museum today. Seeing other families around, I envy them so much that they don’t have to worry about this damn thing and can enjoy there time with the kids. I feel so anxious! I started to take bupropion today but it seems to make me more anxious. I can’t imagine how I can live like this for a few years until the kids are grown up! There’s no quality at all. I’m suffering every second and feel sorry for my kids. I just can’t win with this damn thing.

[Hidden]

Hi li17

I think it may be better to post this in one of the mental health forums.

I'm glad you decided to try an antidepressant. Some people find their anxiety gets worse initially with treatment, but that usually settles. However if it persists, you need to see your doctor.

Best wishes. Take care.

[Chris147]

Try and address your anxiety. Unless you have suffered with anxiety it is hard to explain. I have been there and got the t shirt. Not sure whether you have Af or some other heart related issue but you are clearly fed up being anxious. Mindfulness can be helpful and counselling there is a good book called Mindfulness in a frantic world which comes with a CD. This saved my sanity. I practised and began to live in the present. It made me realise that alot of the time I was feeling ok. Through relaxation I recognised what thoughts were coming in and out of my mind and I needed to control them. Very best wishes.

[Hidden in reply to Chris147]

Chris

Li and I have had long chats here. We are fellow travellers on the AnxietyAF front. All there on this AFA board. In my opinion there can come a time when the experiences of other folk on boards more specific to OP's problem can be of extra help, though many here have anxiety contributing to AF.

Not disagreeing with anything you have said. All good stuff 🙂

[Chris147 in reply to Hidden]

I think anxiety is so hard to control. Reading things is helpful but like any support grout knowing others experience some of what you are feeling for me is a comfort.

[Hidden]

So sorry you are feeling this way. What happens if you have AF? For some of us, the heart goes bonkers for a little while and then settles to a less frantic irregularity. We can just carry on at a gentle pace and it will eventually go away. Not a big problem, especially if you have a pill-in-the-pocket to help the return of normal rhythm. AF is basically an electrical problem. If you get a wildly fast heartbeat and it makes you feel unable to function then yes, it does interrupt your life but many of us don't regard AF as an huge impediment to enjoying life.

[Chris1945]

I agree with you, Rellim2 - although I don't like it when afib happens it's not the episodes that concern me because you're absolutely right, in time they will subside, it's the constant fear of having a stroke and I'm not sure how to overcome that because it's the thing I dread most of all.

[Hidden in reply to Chris1945]

Yes, a stroke can be a fate worse than death. But it can also be something that does not have serious long term effects - and all things in between. When I was persuaded that I was at risk and first took an anticoagulant (aged 66.5) I felt totally moribund and either a stroke or a fatal bleed would be finishing me off in no time. I had days ahead at best. More than four years on and I am a different person and if I say I'm at ease with my situation, it understates the sense of triumph.

[Hidden in reply to Chris1945]

Chris1945

With your anticoagulant, if you have addressed lifestyle factors, and your other medical issues are sorted, the chances of you having a stroke are very small to tiny unless you have another relevant problem. More important things to focus on.

[Chris1945 in reply to Hidden]

Well I hope so Badger......I have indeed addressed lifestyle factors...my EP says that 5% of afib problems are related to 'tonal' factors resulting from digestive issues and I have long thought that my afib episodes are connected to what I've eaten and when. I've never been a drinker so the lack of alcohol is not a problem, but when diagnosed, I went gluten and caffeine free, cut out sugar and carbs completely, don't eat after 6 p.m. and so far, touch wood, it has helped...although I had a couple of episodes which I can relate to eating barley in some soup that I didn't realise was there and accidentally drinking a coffee with caffeine in it. I'm also veggie so the green stuff which I love has to be kept in check however, the good news is I've lost 2 stone, my INR is always in the 2.5 range so I must be doing something right!

That was an interesting article on a thyroid problem connection to afib, I've been on thyroxine for 17 years and on one visit to A and E at the start of afib, the doc said that my TSH reading indicated I was going towards being hyper rather than hypo which in turn, might be a contributory cause of afib?

Anyway, ever onwards, still delighted to have found this website and thanks for all your good advice.

[Hidden]

li17

Sorry we have hijacked your thread. I think you and I are talked out but others here may be able to,help.

Did you find a mental health board that suited you? If so, just asking if you meant to check in here again?

That said I do understand that it can take a while to get to know a new bunch of people. But those guys are focusing on anxiety and depression all the time, and you will likely find more support and advice there, than on the AF site where although we do talk about affective disorders, the main focus is on physical health.

I feel your comments today are best addressed to the other boards where you will likely find more informed advice.

To members here I would suggest that previous threads started by Li17 may be a better starting point before engaging with him.

[li17 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Badger. I’ve been reading other mental health board as well. I’m trying to persuade myself that afib won’t kill me as the EP says. But looking forward, if I can live up to 70 yo, there’re 33 years ahead for me to suffer. That’s a long long time for afib to progress and lots of time for the side effects of drugs or other therapy to build up. It’s so hopeless. At this moment, I just want to live a normal life with my kids and raise them into their 20s and keep the impact on them as low as possible.

[planetiowa]

I too have felt that way - out seeing people enjoying an activity and saying to myself that they don't know how lucky they are to not be suffering from AFIB like I am. However that can be deceiving as many of these same people may be suffering conditions themselves. They may have a cancer diagnosis, diabetes, or have a close family member or child that has a serious or termnal illness. Just remember that given a chance to trade conditions with someone else, most people would quickly come to realize that they would rather have their own conditions back.

[Spoiler]

We have not taken a vacation since the first one we took since afib episodes I went into afib. I had to stay in the hotel and rest instead of going to the beach. I go into a high rate and require cardioversion to get back into NSR. I also get chest pain if I try to just keep going. Afib with RVR is what Im told. Rapid ventricular response. Anyway, I totally understand the anxiety........it is like you are trying to be normal, but you are not. Anyway for me it is impossible to be normal if I am in afib, others as I read are much more fortunate. We are all different. I also am super sensitive to drugs, I cannot take ibuprofen, it causes my heart to have palpitations and increases my blood pressure. I take absolutely nothing except my heart medications, there are others that do the same.

[li17 in reply to Spoiler]

I fully understand. I just feel my whole life is messed up by afib. Not to be rude, but if I got this at my 60s, I won't be so frustrated. Now I'm only 37 and with kids. I don't even dare to imagine how to grow and run with the kids, how to play sports with them, how to take them for vacation or cruise, etc. It's not only affecting me but the kids. I feel so guilty and sorry for them. I know afib wouldn't kill me, I should be able to make it to 60 or 70 or even more, but all these many years ahead of me, that's scary and hopeless.