Help me juggle SOC and my anxiety

[SimMartin]

I have just finish this May 18 months of Zoladex and had RT (VMRT 20x3Gy prostate and SV only) for localised G9 (PSMA no spread no SV involvement) after PSA was 8 following failed HIFU for G7) since 3 months after RT my PSA consistently 0.01 when on the HT.

I now find myself MORE anxious as I deal with the various side effects (low Hb, osteoporosis, energy, muscle weakness and fatigue) I had polio and wheelchair user and airway weak arms legs - so all that weight lifting and exercise isn’t helpful to me. so many drs didn’t want to treat me with HT - hence the HIFU error as turned into G9.

I am asking how much if my mood and increased anxiety is usual once your kind of discharged from active care - and left to manage my own individual care with doctors that only understand a bit of the picture - rheumatology for bones, polio docs for post polio, primary care physicians to deal with cardiac, BP, physio metabolic issues - I seem to have to be my own physician which is getting stressful! All on top of being told maybe never get Testosterone back at my age (73) and activity levels and existing lack of muscle! Then told anyway at least it might keep the PCa recurrence less likely anytime soon!

All this and living in the UK NHS healthcare meltdown doesn’t help. Maybe many if you fellow warriors have had the same anxieties and struggles ? I would just like to not have to question and push and often pay nex it as who h am never quite sure can cope with an holistic approach/ especially crucial with my multiple disabilities which are not on there own life threatening if managed well together with the PCa picture.

apologies- just needs to say this somewhere and hear I am not unique - especially as every post mentions walking exercise and weight lifting ! Thanks for getting this far in my ramblings!!

[Big_Mcc]

I'm with you brother. UK also. Everything is SOC and cant possibly consider anything else that violates NICE guidelines. Not allowed to tell you all the details about your illness but can gaslight you at every opportunity. I'm sorry to tell you this but your pretty much F***** as am I. The only out that I have found is private health care and for financial reasons we are forced to look overseas. Treatments available in the UK are both stage and age related. When your not a productive member of society (retired) you do not warrant cutting edge treatments. I feel your pain.

[SimMartin in reply to Big_Mcc]

Thanks for your ‘fellow UK’ traveller - BREXIT kind of did for my easy access to EU healthcare and travel plus good as my GP is they just are swamped. At least it’s not my moaning and fretting without reason !

[SimMartin]

Thanks - I didn’t realise that if I post here it doesn’t necessarily get seen in the prostate cancer network part of the site?!

I do have a therapist and am trying to deal with the issues there - oddly I am a psychologist so I’m not exactly unaware of the mental health side of things - but hey when it’s you it’s not always easy to apply it to yourself !

The GP is good but swamped and to be honest the system isn’t great at coordinating and dealing with anything that doesn’t fit the SOC or norm. Thinking of using functional medical GP - but as with anything it’s pretty ££££ !

Thanks for the sipped group idea - maybe that’s a good option now

[lcfcpolo in reply to SimMartin]

Sorry. I deleted my original post as it was too negative. It was a reflection on how I was feeling. Please post here as well. There are many helpful people who can help here. My best wishes to you and my apologies for being negative.

[SimMartin in reply to lcfcpolo]

You know what / it was fine so don’t apologise- you have also had a fan hard time - separating is tough especially now you are on your own dealing with this bloody PCa - I can’t imagine how tough this is - and to be honest I really didn’t take it as negative

[jmarsh in reply to lcfcpolo]

Venlafaxine 75mg has really helped with sleep and anxiety for me. Later found out that it is probably helping with hot flashes too. Good luck and don’t despair. God loves you.

[SimMartin in reply to jmarsh]

Thanks

[Vangogh1961]

Your oncology department should have counselors you can access.

[TrashPanda72]

1st - breath deep! 3 long inhales and exhales….

The loss of T adds to all kinds of mental issues…. But you will survive those!

Some treatments work. Some work for awhile, and some fail…. It is part of the natural process of life…

Your goal at this point is to live as pain free as possible.

(time for 3 long deep breaths again)

While there are many in this fight with you, each one of us has our own unique battle. The one thing we can do is control how we react.

For me, I mourned my death (and loss of my former life). I had therapy for awhile…. And then DECIDED to enjoy my “extra time” on the pitch!

You mental outlook can make the difference between living extra life, or dwelling in fear and anxiety.

Ask your oncology team about an antidepressants (Effexor work great for mood and hot flashes).

But most importantly, do what you just did. Talk to people. Express your feelings. Do not bottle it up!

[SimMartin in reply to TrashPanda72]

Thanks …I resolved now to going back to regular meditation which has droppped off the agenda ….

[SteveTheJ]

Deal with anxiety one day at a time, keeping in mind that all that worry will get you where you apparently are now: anxiety. I'm not in the UK, fortunate to have excellent employer-sponsored insurance, but the fact is all you can do is choose a trusted physician that will provide you with treatment that will get you the longest and best quality of life possible. Best of luck.

[j-o-h-n]

So far I beat the sucker with LAUGHTER........ 22 years (but who's counting) and 87 years old. Wake up one day and say Fuck it.... I'm gonna live my ass off......that's it........No ands, if or buts.

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n

[HotRod4321]

I'm old enough to have lost 3 close friends to polio in USA before vaccinations. Godspeed! (sidebar: I didn't understand then that the iron lungs were last step. I thought that they would help cure. silly me. too young then. So, count blessings you made it this far.)

Me? Mind meds for anxiety, counseling 1x month (provided by Rx company) AND lots of humor! Always seek out replies from John dashes (J-o-h-n = see somewhere in this post).

Good luck and Godspeed!