My heart is broken but I must share the sad news that my husband Al passed away on Monday, March 11th just shy of his 75th birthday. His struggles with mPCa are over and he’s at peace now.
You all didn’t know him because I was the one that joined this group hoping to acquire as much information and advice as possible. But I’d like you to know, he was so full of life energy and a bit on the wild side, smart and FUNNY! I’m so lucky to have had him as my best friend and lover all these years.
I’d just like to add that Hospice was exemplary in his care. Everyone we encountered was so gentle and caring with him. They managed his pain well and I had access to a nurse 24/7 if needed. Under the crappy circumstances they made our experience so much easier.
Thanks for all your input here in the group and for the laughs too. Sometimes it was just what I needed. Keep up the fight!
So, if you are so inclined, join me in a toast to a good, good man…..🍻🥂
Written by
Blue-Mockingbird
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Lady Blue, I was so sorry to read your post. From your previous posts it was clear that you loved Al tremendously. So much so, that you married him twice.
Thank you for sharing Al's and your journey with us, and for your grace and sense of humor. And thanks for championing Al's cause. Loving partners and care givers make all the difference in "our" struggle to live and enjoy what we still can. I'm sure Al is looking down at you with a loving smile on his face.
I will offer up a toast in rememberance of Al, and I'll splurge with another lifted in you honor. I wish you well as you try to begin to move forward.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember reading your reply to another poster the other day and knew time was short. I loved your post and picture of your wedding. It sounds like you both loved and enjoyed each other. What a gift to have that kind of marriage. You're in our prayers for strength and comfort. Please take good care of yourself. Big hugs!
My sorrow is deep felt for you. Al was a lucky man to have such a dedicated partner love him and be on his side until the very end. know this; He will always be with you in your heart, loving you and protecting you. ALWAYS
It is never easy to lose a loved one. Thank you for being there for and with him, as the support of a loved one makes the final road much easier to travel on. Stay well and know that the troops here appreciate your kind and shared words as we fall onto this same road. wm. ❤️❤️
My sincerest condolences! Just heard the new Kenny Chesney song BORN a few minutes ago. He says: „We don’t go, we are just out of sight“. Someday we all will be re-united.
I’m so sorry to hear that your beloved husband….our brother…. Al , has become another casualty of this horrible disease. My deepest heartfelt condolences. … 🍹here’s to Al , a life well lived.
cheers to a good man, a very good man, who fought hard and still managed to have QOL! May you be consoled with the thought that he no longer suffers….may he rest in peace…
Thank you for sharing at such an emotional time - but also, so glad that you were able to share so much fun together... I will raise a small glass to you both, this evening... 🙏
I’m so sorry you have lost your dearest husband Al. 💙. It’s Friday morning here in Dublin.. ☘️St Patrick's Day will be celebrated on Sunday, a big day for the Irish, I’ll raise a glass to your lovely man, a life lived with your loving care, he was a lucky man. I’ll raise another glass just for you Blue, for your good health, your peace and comfort in the coming days as you adjust to this new stage of your life. I hope you have a good support around you while you get there. 💕
To all our other friends here I just want to say how grateful I am to have you all. This forum is very important to me and the time and attention, along with sound advice & support you guys and girls give, means so much to so many. ❤️
😢😢. There are no words to sooth a broken heart at times like this . As a fellow warrior in the battle my time will come when the Lord says so . Bless you for being there for him. ❤️🙏🙏
I am so very, very sorry. I lost my husband to the beast 4 years ago. He was just turning 62. He was a warrior and fought it off for 8 years. We will miss them forever. Please reach out to me. I sincerely know what you're going through. With love and strength.
I'm so sorry, Blue-Mockingbird, that you've lost your wonderful man. Thank you for sharing the great photo of him, taking in the sky and ocean and having a moment of peace. This disease steals so much but not our loving relationships. You guided him well to the end.
I am with you you have given your strength and dedication to him when it counts so much I love always the admiration and compassion it requires to manifest true dedication of caregiving but sometimes it an an inspiration to someone your shared time and life with
There is a really excellent support group for widows of stage 4 PC. The only thing that helped me was talking to others who truly understood the fight, the end, the aftermath.
I am so very sorry. What lovely words to honor him. I know you did all you could - you are here.
My condolences, and glad that you shared a great life together and collected good memories. If I can ask, how long of a duration was the hospice care period needed, morphine drip? Did medicare take care of it? I spent 3 months when my father passed watching the suffering from another cancer, so just curious of the end of life scenario's like in your case that myself, I plan to face myself. Best wishes for you as you grieve.
BTW whenever you are up to reading two books that helped: “When Breath Becomes Air,” Paul Kalanithi ( Preparatory Period) and “The Year of Magical Thinking,” Joan Didion (Post Period).
Hi, I'm from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. So sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest condolences. May you find comfort and strength in God.My hb's PSA has been rising after prostatectomy two yrs back. He's undergoing salvage radiotherapy and is half way through the 33 sessions.
Sharing heartfelt love as I spend time with my mom right now after losing my dad 7 months ago. They were together for 71 years...and like your husband, my dad was full of life, vital, active, and adventurous.
I pray that you find peace in the memory of your husband, and remember all the good he added to your life.
Sorry for your loss. I too am on here as a supportive wife. We will toast your hubby and you for the strength and love you both shared over the years. 🥂
Sorry for your loss, my deepest condolences to you and all his family and friends. He was blessed to have someone who loved and supported him like you did. Prayers for you as you grieve.
Thank you for taking the time to post this in a terrible time for yourself. I'm glad that your memories are filled with laughter and so glad that he received such great care from the Hospice.
I'm very sorry to hear about your spouse's passing. I hope that you can find some solace in your grieving for him. and I hope that you give yourself permission to grieve in your own way.
I'm so very sorry for your loss, Blue-Mockingbird. Al was lucky to have you by his side, fighting for him, throughout his journey. It is a very special gift to give to someone you love.
I hope you will plan to stay on this forum, if you are able. There are so many small things to be done that make a huge difference - sharing experiences, welcoming new members, comforting those who experience a loss.
In the meantime, please know that there are many of us here who have gone through what you just have and who are sending you love and support as you begin a different phase of life. Wishing peace to you and all who loved Al! HUGS!
Dear Ms. Blue-Mockingbird, Inasmuch as "AL was so full of life energy and a bit on the wild side, smart and FUNNY" I wish to inform you that before he left, he sent me a wonderful and funny note regarding final toasts and etc..
Here's the Note *j-o-h-n would you tell my dearest I'll be okay and to bill any and all bar tabs directly to Darryl. I also am planning to Marry the love of my life for the third time. Love to my Darling and Regards to all.
Condolences on your loss. I was so glad to read that the hospice provided excellent care and support. Thank you for joining this group to help in caring for your husband.
I am so sorry that you have joined the group of caregivers who had so much more love to give to our special guy…
I am glad your hospice care was able to assist in this difficult time. Hospice helped me with the transition and was able to do all the necessary tasks for me once he passed.
I was offered a whole year of emotional support for my own wellbeing after my hubby passed from our local hospice. Please use that support if you need it.
Thanks, MouseAddams and I definitely plan to use the grief counseling they’re offering. I was told someone would contact me next week and his hospice team even said they’re allowed to visit me for up to a year. They were like family
I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are one of the blessed people who get to live a long life with the person of their dreams. Al was blessed to have you by his side. I can only go on the look in my wife’s eyes when no one thought I was going to live 2 years ago as to the heartache you are suffering. At that point I realized this disease was harder on her than me. My prayers for you are that God will make His presence felt and comfort you until you two meet again. God Bless.
it looks like we are sister birds. I sat for a long time wanting to write something that would say how sorry I am and have it mean something. Something that could bring a drop of soothing salve to you. It is 3 years next month, so I know these stages and feelings. We’ve fought so hard- they fought so hard. I’ll add myself to offering DM. The grief groups, grief counseling and the many online groups help.
Your description reminded me of my husband. Standing by him and being the deepest witness is so important. The gift you’ve given him and yourself. I send a toast to an important life. It’s both your love that will never be apart. Be easy on yourself.
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Just another scared daughter 
***Another good exam***
Another positive lymph node
Is another MRI needed? 
