Hi all, I am right in the middle of 6 rounds of chemo and doing strangely great as far as SEs go
But, I find myself wondering way too often if fighting this was even the right call ffs. Is this just my mind getting best of me guys? **Advanced PC (with couple mets to bones) - on triplet therapy - 50yrs old**
I mean I can't barely do anything physical for more than 5 minutes - I was lying to myself about this particular issue and wound up in emergency with heart issues a week ago.
I can't get hard, I can't fuck, I can't cum, I can't ride my dirtbike, I can't play hockey, I can't shovel, I can't rake etc....
man, I am fucked up guys - sorry for the language but at this point in my journey its ok huh?
I don't want to sound like a baby but a lot of posts are gentlemen 80+ years old etc...I would give anything to only be fighting this at 80!
Its been since August I learned of DX so this isn't the "angry" stage as i already did that!!!! - I just feel like sometimes would I have been better off living instead of "eating this, drinking that, stopping this, quitting that"......
Maybe I am wishing I never got the biopsy and never knew I had the prick disease.
Thoughts all?
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Yzinger
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I got it at 56. I had the triplet therapy and I’m doing great. I am in month 18 of my second vacation from drugs. Two critical things to do.
1. Get off your ass. Lift weights for an hour a day three days a week minimum, working all major body parts. Work hard. You won’t lose muscle mass and you’ll feel 100% better. Plus it increases your chance of staying healthy.
2. Take viagra 3 times a week and get your self hard. Even if it doesn’t feel great. That will keep the muscle from atrophying and allow you to do it again if and when you are cleared for a drug vacation.
The triplet therapy is proven to work way better than anything that came before. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. My good friend just got diagnosed at your age with gioblastoma brain tumor. He’ll be dead in 6 months. You can live with this disease for 20 plus years.
My son - I love this and half expected the "stop feeling sorry"
But, don't get it twisted, I am not a "why me" type or anything i just honestly over-analyze if the decision to fight this was better than the decision to just keep living how i was....thats all.
I will fight this prick and I very much appreciate what you say about your chum.
It's a valid consideration. Since I was DX in April 2022, my QoL has nosedived with the hormone, radiation and chemo therapies and none of them seem to have had much effect on my tumours. It certainly makes me wonder should I just have carried on living a good quality life with no treatments? Where would I be now? Maybe the cancer would have gotten worse and I could be dead or perhaps I'd still be enjoying life - guess I'll never know.
56 too at diagnosis, use tri mix to get hard, workout and never say no to an invite. New Years Eve going to a rave with a bunch of girls in their 20's. My friends and their kids keep me busy doing all kinds of nonsense. My wife made me hire a handy man to work around the house cuz even pulling out bushes is a struggle, big, strong and unable to breathe. There is a future for you, go out and grab it
BIG SUGGESTION ,You are half way through chemo ,make sure you ice gloves and ice slip ons for the feet as the chemo can cause later on a lot of neuropathy.I wish i had known about this at the beginning.I have been on hormone therapy for nearly 2 years now and had 6 rounds of chemo.i did work while i had chemo and tried to juggle the days .I have a first aid business and at the end of the day would drop into bed and sleep for a few hours.Listen to your body as mentioned exercise is essential.Hormone therapy reduces muscle ,dick size dramatically and libido.Stay positive ! I try and also a little bit of hydro therapy.Lucky my wife is fantastic at body massage.I just acquired a second first aid business so very busy.Little lucky my PSA for 16 months around .008..I am 74. I am now exploring metabolic therapy using products that starve the cancer cells of sugar and slows the growth.It makes sense to me. Best wishes
I was diagnosed at 50 and had my prostate removed followed by triplet therapy. I am now 56. Along the way I had a inflatable penile implant installed and currently I'm on zytiga and Eligard. My PSA is undetectable and PET scans are clear. I'm still living a good life. I work a little less than I used to. I focus more now on things I consider important. I believe things will get better for you, just give it a little more time. Your question was with regard to weather you made the right choice in pursuing triplet therapy and fighting the disease, I definitely think you made the right choice.
Yep I concur, I had this BS desease 12 years now & i wondered the same thing. The first shot of lupron knocked me so hard I could not work any more but here I am at 74 with not much quality of life but still here, SO FIGHT ON I SAY! Life is too dam short to sit around moping.
I was 55 when diagnosed stage 4. That was 5.5 years ago. Here's how I think about the issue.
Millions of people deal with life altering events every year ... cancer, paralysis, amputation, financial ruin, death of the family's main income provider, etc. Prostate cancer is our life altering event. All of us need to quit comparing our new lives with our old ones. We can't go back to way our lives used to be just like we can't go back to re-live our teenage years. All of that is in the past but it doesn't mean the years ahead can't be great too. Find things that interest you and that you are capable of doing. For me, I used to be so focused on my career advancement and making more money. Now my primary focus is spending time with family and friends. I now know that my time is limited so I'm going to enjoy every moment that I have left with the people who mean the most to me.
I hope you can find things in your life to look forward to as well.
Dx at 56 as well, July 2019 and I feel you. I often have a similar train of thought but have never found an answer. Here's to you finding one and letting us know.
I do sympathise. A golfing buddy was super fit, director of sports at a local uni, one day felt unwell, went home and was gone in one month from pc. After 9 years since dx, I often think the “ignorance is bliss” approach might have been a better way to go out. But when I see the kids and now their kids I realise I want to do everything to stay alive and be there for them, and my wife. I think I’m saying you need a raison d’être to keep you going and justify the downsides. Wish you luck.
I remember that feeling. Diagnosed at 66 in 2016. You will have lots of different thoughts as you fight this war against this invisible monster . With the add of ADT treatment there was the hot Flashess, man BOOBS , total loss of body strength just to name a few things Keep up the fight there warrior. It really is worth it
Some very good advice here, so I’m not adding to that. Just remember being diagnosed at 50 means you hadn’t had much experience yet at being old. You might even say none, depending on your health and attitude at that point.
Therefore, it’s natural to imagine life without this disease as being far superior, which indeed it might be. But quite possibly not nearly to the degree we think.
Aging is a funny thing; we tend to be in denial about it while complaining about its consequences. A well known host of health problems increasingly stalk us, cancer is but one.
To live well as we get old requires a lot of discipline, a lot of exercise, and more effort for less result in much of what we used to do easily. It’s not for everyone.
Profoundly worth it though, even with Pca, as is testified!
Thanks, London, for this great response. Boy, did I need this…if not advice, observation… years ago. It may have made things emotionally easier for me. You’ve managed to be exactly on point in describing a realization that has been slow for me. But, being 49 at the time (7 y.a.), maybe it was impossible for me to even think in this way.
Myself dx at 57, exactly one year ago. Since that RALP, 35 rounds of radiation and now on ADT.I often think about passion for something in life, and where my focus and attention is, as ever so important for QoL. Yes, sex is (was) fun and me and my wife miss it. But other qualities of our relation emerges with time if theres is communication. And I can still talk to my kids, lift weights, sail my sailboat and ride my motorcycle. It is different for everyone, I totally respect that. For me, time is changing the perspective and I try to drive my focus and attention to my (other) passions.
I hear you, really I do. Diagnosed at 70, Gleason 9, highly aggressive. Participated in clinical trial - SBRT+ADT+Niraparib - knocked me down big time. But in the process, I rediscovered that living is best when focused primarily on God and on others. So my advice - read the Gospel of John; get yourself aligned with the God who made you and live the balance of your life in service to Him and the people he puts into your life.
So far, I can give thanks for each day. I am working physically 5 days a week with my son and grandson - I give thanks for each day the Lord gives me. You are in my thoughts.
Yeah, diagnosed at 57 back in January 2014...coming up on 10 years. I remember well the fatigue with chemotherapy, particularly after the 4th infusion. I went to the gym, could only do about five minutes on the elliptical, even that was hard. Still, went and lifted a few weights, came back, did a few more minutes, repeat...My daughter had to pick me up when I got to a point on my bike ride, around 18 miles, where I couldn't do the last 5-7. I reached a point where I couldn't play full court basketball, only half court.
The fatigue of ADT, the genitalia shrinkage, the end of semen and ejaculation, the muscle and joint stiffness....still, here I am ten years later and what has that got me..?
10 Christmas' with my wife and daughters.
Attending my daughters graduations from college.
Vacations, Utah, Arizona, Oregon, New England, Colorado, Iceland...
10 more anniversaries with my wife, on our 34th this year.
Annual ski trip to Colorado with family, friends.
Garmin Unbound 50s (50 mile gravel bike ride in the Flint Hills of KS) with my daughter and sister.
Celebrating a World Series, Super Bowl and NCAA Basketball championship with my favorite teams..
A tour of the Jack Daniels Distillery in Lynchburg, TN.
and more...
So, like others, I am not thrilled with this, that phone call from my urologist in January 2014 still brings a twinge of why...
Like others, I don't dwell on the past, I learn from it, but today and tomorrow are what's relevant to decisions I make.
So, I exercise pretty much daily, indoor or outdoor bike, weights, swim, take active vacations, work around the house, particularly the yard, walk my dog....I think the routine exercise and the looking forward vice backwards is in part, why I live with my PCa.
Mine is an aggressive, PCa, see the attached clinical history. We're on our 4th treatment now. I have been fortunate, breaks between each. I have peaked behind he door to see what death by PCa is like, no thanx. My medical team knows in part their job is to ensure I die of something else, (I do have cardiologist on my team though).
Both my parents have passed as have brother and sister, the latter because they ignored their health, detested doctors, did not listen to them, so too soon in both cases. I m not my brother or sister!
This year another sister was diagnosed with anal cancer (the HPV shots were not available when she was growing up, both my daughters had them) so it's HPV relate. The "good" news, she has a high probability of a cure or like me, long life with it. Having travelled that "journey" before her diagnosis, I have been able to be a sounding board for her when she needs to understand the ins and outs of this journey.
We all have two lives, the second one begins when we have realized, we have just one!!!
It's not about life, but how we decide to live it, regardless of what we are given, in our cases, measured in "time"...
No regrets, no looking back, as it was once told to me, it's hard to move forward, if always looking in the rear view mirror!
And lastly, I'll finish with an old Japanese Maxim:
Ichi Go Ichi
Meaning "Each Moment Once"...
So make the most of it!
You mention you're not angry, but it sure sounds like it and is a stage of grief! We all walk our path and journey alone, but share similar experiences. It's all good! For me, diagnosed at 54 and now 5 years into this thing, and to make it short, RP, then immediate Salvage RT & ADT (2017), one year then recurrence again (2018), discovered StageIV to Peritoneal (rare presentation) two reduction surgeries (2020), then Chemo (2021), recurrence again (2022), Whack-a-mole RT, added 2nd generation lutamide and also Lynparza for DNA marker (BRCA) and here we are today! PSA and T levels stable, yay! (18 months). Was going to continue working until reaching about where you are in Chemo cycle, and realized "Why?". Chemo had taken quite a toll on physical health, etc. So I retired @ 57 to try and figure out how to squeeze the rest of my life into whatever time I might enjoy as tomorrow is not a guarantee! If I had 10 years left, how to fit 20 of living into that, lol.
So passing on my own realization from this experience, is to let go, don't hold onto things that have weight! Walk lightly and do all things that bring a smile to your face!!! Because there are no U-Hauls following the Hearses to the graveyard, ie, you can't take it with you, so enjoy the ride! But your experiences will ensure that smile stays there, even in the end!
There's a lot going on in your reply and we've seen your progression from diagnosis to triplet therapy. Thank G-d for OHIP and Canadian health insurance.
1. CHEMO EFFECTS MIGHT WEAR OFF - In the middle of Docetaxel one is very tired. Things improved a lot after the end of my chemo and continued to improve after that. (I exercise a lot too.)
2. AGE BIAS IN PROSTATE CANCER FORUMS - As for all the "80 year old guys", I also have had the same "yikes" reaction - including on video forums I attend in Canada. It's important to note that there aren't many 80-year-old guys on any advanced PCa forums who were diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer when they were still in their 50s or 60s - you can figure out why. At least this forum is supposedly focused on metastatic - I have stopped going to any support group that isn't related to metastatic because it's such a waste of time.
Your point though is that you were diagnosed at the relatively young age of 50 or so. I'm more than 10 years older than you but we still have a teenager at home, in high school. My diagnosis of prostate cancer has been a huge source of anger and sadness for me - and my wife. My life expectancy calculations indicate that I will probably lose between 11 and 19 years of life - completely unnecessarily. But the shock for someone in the '50s has got to be overwhelming!
3. INTIMATE RELATIONS BEFORE AND AFTER - There are a lot of posts on this site about the loss of sexual functioning or even desire. (Thankfully most of them don't include foul street language.) I admit the point I'm about to make is more difficult for a slightly younger man to consider. And also you have had much less time to adjust since your diagnosis. Nevertheless I've come to the point of view that life going forward for me will be different from what it was like before. And I am embrace this. I am critical of fantasies that life doesn't have to change and therefore "I'll take an ADT holiday". Which much of the time would be to take a terrible risk. This fantasy of "life as usual" is one of the reasons that rates of surgical castration have declined to very low levels compared to a generation ago - even though there are real advantages.
My goal is to live as long as possible with a basic quality of life while hopefully avoiding skeletal or organ-related impairments. I have metastasis to my spine and compromised vertebrae. Because of the risk I won't be riding my bicycle with my family anymore, let alone a dirt bike! But other than that I have no real cancer or therapy-related impairments - in part because my high-volume diagnosis was too late for destructive surgery or radiation to do anything of value!
4. THE WISDOM OF CROWDS - There are lots of great replies here on HU MaleCare.
Let's go forward and embrace the future and do our best! I'm a husband and a dad and a granddad and I have chores around the house. And I still have some work and earnings to maintain. And maybe I can be of service sometimes. Life is sweet.
We all have to go through all of the stages of self-grief. When you can accept it, it will be better for you. I was DX at 82 and it still isn't easy. I fight back by telling everyone I can about it and have helped many others with PCa education. This forum is the #1 site.
Hey Yzinger, I feel for ya man! I'm doing triplet therapy myself, and started 6 rounds of Docetaxel around this time a year ago. It's normal to feel physically rotten, which can't help but carry over into the mental side, especially around the holidays. I'm 49, and I was diagnosed in late 2022 at the age of 48 with aPC - 6cm primary in the prostate, 7 lymph node tumours, and 5 bone mets in the sacrum, spine, and left shoulder blade. It was a real kick in the nuts to get hit with this at such a relatively young age.
As the year draws to a close, I'm ecstatic that I made it to another Christmas, another New Year's celebration tonight, another 365 days with Mrs. 32Percenter and my amazing kid. If that doesn't do it for you, if I can offer any advice in addition to the excellent advice given by the others here, it's to map out a goal, the ultimate new year's resolution, and stick to it. Think BIG, like not impossible but barely possible. For me it was getting back after my treatments to a really tough, physical job that I love, and the picture attached is worth a thousand words so I'll just leave it at that. Of course my response to treatment counted for a lot here, but don't underestimate what's possible with determination and laser focus on a goal.
Happy New Year, and may you find health and purpose in 2024.
Nice post.Couldn't agree more with setting of goals...for me it's hiking and crazy hill climbs on my bike.
This past August my brother and I trained for the Mt Washington Bike Ride in New Hampshire...all for naught because it was cancelled on ride day due to really high winds.
Then in September, my work\travel buddy went hiking for 5 days straight on the Alta Vista 1 in the Dolomites Mountains in Northern Italy. Had a blast.
This July\Aug my buddy and I are heading to Paris for the Olympics and then to the Pyrenees for more multi-day hiking.
Another attempt at Mt Washington is also in the works.
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I'm 11months out from completing 6 rounds of Docetaxel (now age 47) and am on enzalutamide now - I feel massively better than I did this time last year. I share most of your negative experiences (although I haven't been near a dirt bike since I went through a fence on one in the 90s) and they really suck.
I think I'd be dead already without the treatment and seeing my kids finish school is my top priority. The dog keeps me active and I'm just about avoiding ill health retirement. A medical cannabis prescription has been a massive help for my quality of life too.
To be honest I dream of lasting as long as some of the guys on here and have adjusted my life expectations . It doesn't stop it being utterly shit though.
Yzinger, had to laugh at your post. Your expressed sentiment matches mine (and many others I sure). I’m 21 years older, but I was feeling like 50 until receiving my own diagnosis in September of this year. I presently remain in the denial stage. Internally, I’m muttering your language exactly. No offense taken at yours at all. In fact, the open, frank discussions I read in this forum are why I prefer it over that sponsored by the Mayo Clinic. I feel uplifted by everyone’s shared plights. (Thanks to all of you for taking the time to share them.) I know this site is going to help me get through my own road ahead. I will share what I learn when it starts in 2024. Best wishes to all in 2024!!
I'm 87 years old and fighting the tiny M.F. bastards since 2002. So I haven't been able to get hard, I can't fuck, I can't cum, I can't ride my dirt bike, I can't play hockey, I can't shovel, I can't rake etc... but I can laugh my ass off.......Today I laughed at an incident that I saw on TV... I laughed so hard I though I crushed my ribs....You will be around till your 87 plus, so yell and scream and stomp around the house, but at the only thing that will get you out of the blues is to laugh. Get an outlet..... collect something that not too many people collect. Go to house sales, garage sales, sidewalk sales and find whatever that something may be. You know all of us members got fucked by Pca but you gotta stick it out. You are lucky.... you will witness the 2062 New Year.....
I was diagnosed at age 57 and placed on Lupron and have added abiraterone since then, and also have nerve damage from SRBT to a lesion on my left femur which left me with foot drop (paralysis of my foot). So, yes, I understand these limitations and it is life changing. It can be depressing but still better than the alternative...
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and is a stage of grief! We all walk our path and journey alone, but share similar experiences. It's all good! For me, diagnosed at 54 and now 5 years into this thing, and to make it short, RP, then immediate Salvage RT & ADT (2017), one year then recurrence again (2018), discovered StageIV to Peritoneal (rare presentation) two reduction surgeries (2020), then Chemo (2021), recurrence again (2022), Whack-a-mole RT, added 2nd generation lutamide and also Lynparza for DNA marker (BRCA) and here we are today! PSA and T levels stable, yay! (18 months). Was going to continue working until reaching about where you are in Chemo cycle, and realized "Why?". Chemo had taken quite a toll on physical health, etc. So I retired @ 57 to try and figure out how to squeeze the rest of my life into whatever time I might enjoy as tomorrow is not a guarantee! If I had 10 years left, how to fit 20 of living into that, lol.
Looking for some hope
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Next Treatment Plan Thoughts?
