Advance Directive

[Ali1980]

There is one more thing I would like to add, more like rant about. Please please please make an advance directive. I am a nurse and I would ask dozens of patients before surgery if they had one...the overwhelming majority said no. I never realized exactly how important it is until my dad coded after his nephrostomy surgery and my mom and I had to quickly decide if we should ventilate. It was terrifying to think he may not wake up and we would be the ones to decide to “pull the plug.” Luckily he did wake up. Please talk about it with your family..when you’re in decent health. It is really hard to have the conversation when you are drugged up and feeling pressured. By the time we decided on hospice, it really still was not his decision per se. He was in so much pain and so tired that he basically didn’t want to think about. Having a plan in place will relieve a huge burden on yourself and your loved ones when the time comes. Love to all😘

[Hidden]

Im sorry about dad. I too had the tubes .. Great advice for us all . Be prepared ✌️

[MarkBC]

This is great advice. Thank you for bringing it up. So many people, whether cancer patients or not, don't want to talk about these things. I would add to your advice that we should let our loved ones know about the contents of our will so that there are no surprises or conflicts when the time comes.

[Ali1980 in reply to MarkBC]

Absolutely!

[DenDoc]

In addition to having the documents in place, the immediate family has to be informed and have the sometimes painful discussions to know exactly what you want (or not). We used a social worker in Palliative Care to manage the family meeting with just our kids so everyone knows my wishes. It was painful, tearful at times but they seem very grateful.

There is a program called "The Conversation " that you can follow and can be found on-line but using a neutral third party is very helpful.

I live in a state where there is Medical Assistance in Dying and I have verified with my providers that if I come to the point where I would qualify, I would exercise the choice. That will not work for everyone depending on your viewpoint.

[Ali1980 in reply to DenDoc]

That’s a wonderful idea to have a mediator we’ll versed in all of what palliative care entails. I bet that was of great help. Thank you for sharing that advice😊

[j-o-h-n]

Thank you, Thank you and Thank you............Regards to Dad, your Mom and you....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Monday 06/15/2020 10:12 AM DST