Although I only discovered this site last year and haven't met any of you in person (except for Darryl and GreatJohn at the NYC conference in October), in a short time you all become my brothers and sisters as I relied on you for information, inspiration and support.
I apologize for the radio silence as of late, but my grief is all encompassing and right now feels never ending.
Below is a link to Gordon's obit which doesn't begin to characterize the amazing human being that I had the privilege to call my husband.
Wishing each one of you Godspeed on your journey, hope you know that I'm with you in spirit, rooting for you every step of the way.
Please accept my heartfelt condolences, Emily, on your terrible loss of your beloved Gordon. His obituary is beautiful & a testament to his legacy as an artist. With my thoughts & prayers for your strength, Lyubov
Please accept my condolences. The victim is never only the one struck by the disease. We appreciate those like you who provide support to those like us. I pray for blessings and comfort for you and your family.
I am so sorry to hear this news. You became like a family member to this forum as you have been a great communicator. You stood by your husband like a rock and has been a devoted wife. An exemplary spouse who does not give up even in most tough times. I pray to God for peace to his soul and serenity for you.
Thank you, I felt the same way - as did Gordon, although he wasn't officialy "on" the site - he read so many posts and felt so comforted by the commonality of experience. We fought so hard - right up until the last day.
I am sorry for your loss. These words seem so Inadequate because I really want is to yell No More Cancer. No more pain No more death from this evil thing.
Emily, I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, am a wife of a wonderful man with stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer. Your writeup was beautiful! I hope that all your memories help you during this very difficult time.
Thank you so much, appreciate you taking the time to read his obit. He was such a remarkable man. Wishing you hope, peace and love on your journey. I'm sure you know what an important role you have.
I've followed closely the latter part of your ordeal, and have always been impressed by how steadfastly you advocated for him. In spite of your heroic efforts, the disease took him from you, and that is tragic. What an interesting background! I wish I'd known him.
Thank you Nalakrats for the kind and beautiful words.
Thank you especially for taking the time to read his obit.
We both relished your posts, looked forward to them and implemented so much of what you shared, which no doubt extended our time together. I am eternally grateful.
thank you for giving the link to Gordon's obit. What a sweet face......
I cannot imagine how devastated you are. It would be presumptuous to make reading recommendations (if that is one of your modes of dealing with your grief at all) but I will mention the name Meghan O’Rourke.
Also I like this woman's columns....and I am not suggesting them, but thought this was a good quote:
I am so sorry you lost your lovebird. I had not followed your posts, but I took a look at a couple of them after seeing the news of your Gordon's death. You were an impressive advocate for him.
Thank you so much, and thank you for reading his obit.
He was a remarkable man but the theme in all the eulogies at the three services was how kind, generous and humble he was. I think he would have been surprised at how much he touched people through these qualities.
Really appreciate your reading recommendations as well as the link.
Dear Emily, I am sorry to read about your husband. I read his obit and wish I had had the opportunity to meet him. My deepest condolences to you and the family. May you get the strength to soldier on with your family.
Hi Emily, ... So sorry to hear of your husbands passing.
I share your pain. My husband Sam lost his battle this past October 21st we had been married for fifty seven years on Oct forth. .. Emily, this has to be the hardest thing ever.! My heart is broken, there are days that I don't know if I can withstand the grief I'm feeling.. .. It sounds to me that you had a wonderful husband, like myself I feel that's why we are hurting so bad.
Wishing you strength and peace in this difficult time
Take care and my thought and prayers are with you.
Thank you so much and condolences for your loss as well. Yes, agree, this is the hardest thing ever - what is the saying, the greater the love, the greater the pain.
It doesn't seem real to me that in all our years together, in spite of his difficult last few months, he never uttered one unkind word to me. Not one. In fact, at the hospital, I noticed that the nurses came around often to, as one of them put it, "to soak up his positive energy"
So I am left with a lot of pain, but so much gratitude as well - for the person I am today because of him - and will be tomorrow.
Thank you for your kind words. Wishing you strength, love and peace as well.
Emily, your beautiful reply brought tears to my eyes. It seems our husbands were a lot alike..I received so many beautiful cards, phone calls from the doctors and nurses who cared for Sam. All of them saying how strong, positive Sam was and fought so hard with dignity..never complained.,a true warrior... Sam's oncologist Dr Ali at Lankenau hospital here in Philadelphia...came into the room two days before Sam passed and her words were..." quote" Ask me why I hate my job!! She said it's like times like this that I've be come so fond of certain patients and I have to tell them the bad news.
I said to Sam's urologist that I was getting a complex, ha! ... all the doctors, nurses saying how much they loved Sam. He answered me saying that we all loved you too sweetheart.. I thought that was cute.
Met such wonderful Doctors, Nurses, just wished I would have met them under different circumstances.
Emily, like I said, I truly do share your pain. It's so hard the tears come in waves. I never knew that a heart could ache this bad...
I thank you also for your kind words and know that I'm sending prayers and strength and love your way.
What an amazing man... I visited the obit page. You two look so happy. My thoughts of comfort to you and your families and joy for the life well lived.
And yes, we were wildly happy with each other, even after the diagnosis. I wouldn't trade a thing and knowing what I know now, I would do it over again in a heartbeat.
My heartfelt and sincere condolences to you Emily. You have been an amazing advocate for your husband throughout his, and your, journey. My heart aches for your loss, please feel free to reach out to me if you so need...
Take care of you now, it will be a rough road but we make it; one step at a time ❤️
My sincere condolences. I can't imagine the grief you are going through but at least he has left this world leaving his artistic legacy to remember him by. Leo
Thanks Leo, yes he left a wonderful creative legacy but the bigger one which was a theme at the more than 20 eulogies at 3 different services was the one of kindness, generosity and humility. He was the kindness person I have ever met, so generous with his time and mentoring of others and in spite of his brilliance, so humble. Not a trace of arrogance which is rare in someone of that brilliance. So, I will use that to inspire me to be better.
Emily, the obit you wrote reveals Gordon to be a travelling and artistic soul. He will undoubtedly find a way to watch over you, protect you and perhaps even communicate with you in future. May God bless and keep you always.
I have a few stories that I tell to almost no one ever. Some souls do communicate. Just seeing Gordon's photo, his eyes, I feel that he is one of those. xo
I’m so sorry for the loss of such a wonderful man. What a beautiful life he lived. You were such an important part of his life and such a crusader. It is a time we all dread will come too soon. I hope your memories sustain you thru your grief. We all stand with you during this time of sadness. Take care, Charline
I am so sorry to hear this news. My sincerest condolences to you and your family. What a neat story of innovation and art in technology. I wish you well and Godspeed. Sending hugs and love in this difficult time.
Yours was the first post I read on this site last January. I am so very sorry for your loss. And the worlds. Gordon’s work was important and impactful.
We, the partners, have a difficult and sorrowful path.
I am with my husband, on Orcas Island. No more treatments except cannabis oil. Hospice for support.
May His peace be with you. I am so sorry for your lose but have great joy knowing you share life with such a wonderful man. Thank you for sharing his life story with us.
We mourn as a community when we lose another member of the no one wants to be here club. Those that are left behind are not forgotten. May God bless in this gift and mystery of life we temporarily share together as one, in kindred spirit.
I am so sorry Emily. Gordon was so young to be taken away from you. We all have the could I have done more feelings. Brush them away. I looked at the photos many times. May your new memories be as loving as your past memories. I wish you all the best.
Thank you for for saying , yes way too young at 59 and yes, I am second guessing every minute what I could have, should done differently. It's eating me up inside. But this community here such a deep source of comfort and I am so grateful.
Emily, we share in your sorry for your husband’s passing!
What an amazing life you shared with Gordon! I found his obituary - perhaps better called a short story of a man’s impactful life - incredible! So many interests, so many accomplishments, so many people whose lives he impacted. I particularly enjoyed reading the comments from people whose lives he touched.
Please know we are all here for you. I hope you can take comfort in knowing that he is in the care of our Lord now - until you see him again! He can play his beloved music all the time now! He must be great - in his photos he looks like one of The Beatles!
Yes - I was so lucky to have had the time with him that I did. I think he would have been surprised that more than his creative legacy was his legacy of kindness - virtually every email, card, letter and eulogy mentioned his kindness and generosity. Yes - he was in 3 different bands in his youth - as did most Brits of his generation!
During the last year especially people always told him how lucky he was to have me by his side - made me sad that they missed the point entirely - that I was the lucky one.
"Gordon Martin Druce" looked like a cool guy I'd like to hang out with in Inwood (even though I was originally from across the river in the Bronx)...Very talented and left his mark in the art and music world. One of us warriors that lost the battle but won the war. No more pain, no more meds, no more doctors, no more hospitals. God Bless you Gordon and God Bless your dear wife Emily. May you stay alive forever in your wife's and your family's memory.
Emily, stay strong and stay with us (we like you)... He "opened his eyes to the world" may we all do the same....
No doubt the two of you would have got on like a house on fire. And thank you yes, he definitely left a creative mark and also a more important one of kindness, generosity and humility. He touched so many with these qualities.
So sorry for your loss, my husband passed away from this awful disease, 7 weeks and one day ago. I do know how you feel and it's just awful. They say time heals.....well we will see, because it sure doesn't feel like it right now.
Thank you Anna and condolences to you for your loss.
Yes, the pain feels never ending as you know - and well meaning people are saying the craziest s*** to me - feeling free to share all kinds of B.S. advice.
I have been reading a lot of books on grief and have joined a grief support group which starts soon. Hoping that these will help. Would love to hear what you're doing.
My heart just sank ,Be strong.I’m truley sorry ,you’re in my thoughts. By the way believe me he has just lost his physical body his soul will be survived forever
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