Random Musings

[Stegosaurus37]

Some thoughts that occurred at 2 o'clock in the morning:

The Good Lord made Heaven and Earth but He subbed the operations to Murphy. (Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong at the worst possible time in the worst possible way.)

You only die once so you have to get it right the first time.

The problem with instant gratification is it takes too long.

They say all good Americans go to Paris when they die. I just hope they mean Paris, France and not Paris, Wyoming.

Is there whiskey in the Hereafter?

The British economist John Maynard Keynes was once asked if he had his life to live over, would he do anything different. He said, yes, he would drink more champagne.

W. C. Fields said that if he had to live his life over, he would live it over a saloon.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing will irritate them more.

Whenever you’re facing a new experience or an unknown situation, imagination is your worst enemy. It inevitably exaggerates; conjuring fears and hopes far beyond anything that will subsequently happen.

[tom67inMA]

Great stuff, but not sure about that last one. A year ago my worst fear was being diagnosed with prostate cancer, or maybe bladder cancer. Hahahahaha! How poor my imagination was. It didn't imagine that I could have both, and one would be widespread and advanced! But wait, there's more! I also got urinary retention after bladder surgery and got to spend a week with a catheter. No wait, it gets even better, the catheter got blocked! I had urinary retention with a catheter in me. hahaha that's a good one!

Since then, I've learned to live life like Carl Reiner: When you wake up, read the obituary. If you're not listed, eat breakfast.

[j-o-h-n in reply to tom67inMA]

If you're listed, skip breakfast....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Wednesday 10/16/2019 7:41 PM DST

[Stegosaurus37 in reply to tom67inMA]

I spent 160 days with a catheter before I finally insisted on a TURP. The first time they changed the catheter you could have heard me scream for 100 miles.

[tom67inMA in reply to Stegosaurus37]

160 days? Holy poop! There are many stories here worse than mine. Gotta say though, ADT fatigue is a picnic compared to having things shoved up your Johnson.... and it's almost time for my next cystoscopy.

[Stegosaurus37 in reply to tom67inMA]

Well, it was great time to get into a beer drinking contest.

[tom67inMA in reply to Stegosaurus37]

Haha! My urologist put a valve on my second catheter. I bragged that my junk hung down around my knees.

[Drphil1938 in reply to tom67inMA]

Like Willie Nelson's song, "I woke up not dead again this morning".🍸🍸🤠

[GeorgeGlass in reply to tom67inMA]

I watched that documentary on TV. Very good wisdom there. Take life easy and spend time laughing with your buddies.

[westof]

Hmm... I like your post and after reading the replies, it occurred to me how different our experiences are.

After reading, the first thing that came to mind was an old song by George Harrison. You can hear it on You Tube.

Beware of Darkness:

Watch out now, take care

Beware of falling swingers

Dropping all around you

The pain that often mingles

In your fingertips

Beware of darkness

Watch out now, take care

Beware of the thoughts that linger

Winding up inside your head

The hopelessness around you

In the dead of night

Beware of sadness

It can hit you

It can hurt you

Make you sore and what is more

That is not what you are here for

Watch out now, take care

Beware of soft shoe shufflers

Dancing down the sidewalks

As each unconscious sufferer

Wanders aimlessly

Beware of Maya

Watch out now, take care

Beware of greedy leaders

They take you where you should not go

While Weeping Atlas Cedars

They just want to grow, grow and grow

Beware of darkness

Best

[Hidden]

Dammed sub-contractors ....

[Savoy]

Paris, Maine...”The Way Life Should Be”

[Jackpine]

Great post and oh so true! Thanks for sharing!!

[JimBarringer]

Murphy was an optimist

[middlejoel]

LOVE IT

[monte1111]

Like the posts I laugh all the way through. So glad I don't eat breakfast. You just got to love the W. C. Fields. I would have thought if he had his life to live over, it would have been over Mae West. Enjoy.

[j-o-h-n]

Quote from W. C. Fields (a/k/a William Claude Dukenfield):

"The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep"...

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 10/17/2019 5:38 PM DST

[Drphil1938 in reply to j-o-h-n]

Or, more laughing at j-o-h-n witticisms. Good humor and laughing is tiring, you put me to sleep.🍸🍸🤠 or maybe it's the martinis. Don't know, but not going to give up either.🍸🍸🤠

[Stegosaurus37 in reply to Drphil1938]

Laughter is always good.

Of, course so are martinis.

[Drphil1938 in reply to Stegosaurus37]

Right on! Here's to you.🍸🍸🤠

[j-o-h-n in reply to Drphil1938]

Martinis? That's just an excuse to eat a green olive(s).............Try some Kalamata olives once in awhile...

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 10/18/2019 5:26 PM DST

[Stegosaurus37]

I don't like green olives, but I love Kalamatas. For a martini, it's either a diet martini or with a twist.