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Advanced Prostate Cancer
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Reflection on having 4TH STAGE PC

I am currently on Lupron, Xtandi and Pembro. I find myself not getting things done like I use to in the yard and in the house. I think my priority has shifted to doctor appts, treatment appts, and doing what I can do without wearing myself out. I watch the weeds grow and feel a bit guilty about not getting out there to pull them. I would rather read a book or work on a quilt or go for a morning walk. Over all the shift feels liberating. If cancer has taught me anything it is to do the things you really love as long as you can and then let go.

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You seem to be doing just what strikes your fancy at the moment. That's a good thing.

I always wanted to dance naked on a subway platform in NYC but my wife said if I did, it would be the final straw. Some women have no seen of humor/adventure. Oh well, life goes on.

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She probably doesn't think you dance very well!

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You can always start by dancing in your backyard under the pale moonlight.

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I don't have a backyard, I have acreage. The coyotes don't like it when I have the MC5 blasting at 2 in the morning, makes it hard to get the funk going.

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You might want to pick the 125th Street Station (IRT Broadway–Seventh Avenue Line) on a hot Saturday night around 10 pm, I'm sure you'll draw a most grateful crowd.

Good Luck and Good Health.

j-o-h-n Wednesday 08/01/2018 8:03 PM EDT

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Pic does take over your life to a degree. Doctor apps, side effects do change your way of life. Treat it as a challenge to dump the stuff you didn't maybe enjoy and take up new things.

That said, do not allow yourself or your house to go to pot. It's one of the first things they teach you in survival school. Shave, make your bed, yes, pull up the weeds. It keeps your self respect/morale up.

Good luck, we're all with you.

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Good point, I do feel better about myself even after an hour. Besides, naps are good too.

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I have been in some advanced cancer support groups with both men and women with different types of advanced cancer. The topic of evolving realistic expectations for former self-identity roles and declining capabilities with advancing treatments and/or disease progression often comes up. Men often feel sadness, depression, or grief when they can no longer do the things they always used to do easily and well in their "roles" as the capable man of the house.... strenuous yard work could be one example. Women often try way too hard to hang on to nurturing and domestic activities that are realistically getting to be beyond their capability and comfort levels ... a big Thanksgiving dinner could be one example. It takes personal insight and time to deal with these new realities and the emotions that come with them. It often requires some re-learning of how to ask for help again, in ways we may not have done so much since our early youth.

(Personally, I recently finally broke down and hired a lawn service because it was just getting too much for me in our 100 degrees F. central California summer heat, at age 70 after 4.5 years on Lupron and 1.5 years on Xtandi. For some reason my wife also doesn't want me up on a ladder or the roof to clean out our gutters either. )

I am again reminded of the apparent evolution of characters played by Clint Eastwood in some of his movies. First it was, "Go ahead, make my day." Then it was, "A man's got to know his limitations.", And finally, it was "Get off my lawn." Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I am also comforted by the sense of balance between the very beginning of our lives and the very end of our lives. We are born essentially helpless and incapable of most every thing, yet we are cherished, nurtured, and loved despite our weaknesses. Toward the end of life, we again may become less capable of things, or weak, or sick, and, if we are fortunate, we can again feel the support, comforting, and nurturing love from those around us. Sometimes it takes a while to remember, or to re-learn what we already knew from our earliest days.

Just some thoughts,

Charles

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I agree, its adjustment I'm finding easier to make

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Great thoughts! I think I’ll print this one up for Ole Dad :).

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Yep and I find it harder and harder to beat my wife..... she misses the beatings cause she's starting to like them.....

Good Luck and Good Health.

j-o-h-n Wednesday 08/01/2018 9:27 PM EDT

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My wife can take me out now... I'd never try it in my weakened state...lol

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I'd do it for you.... at a price of course 👍

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

Monday 04/01/2019 1:04 PM EDT

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You sound like me. Everything becomes an effort. Working outside more than two hours is totally exhausting.

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