Five years fighting Prostate Cancer

[Dash54]

Five years ago this week I found out I had prostate cancer. It was clear from the beginning it was an aggressive strain. I've had surgery andradiation. I am currently on Lupron, Xtandi, and Pembro. It's been an amazing journey. It's made me focus on what's really important, rid myself of toxic relationships, start quilting, traveled to Japan, came out and found a loving relationship. I focus on the positive every day and fight the fatigue and depression the best I can. However, I'm beginning to tire of never ending fight. I'm grateful every day for my family, friends, doctors and new break throughs in cancer research. Here's hoping for another 5 years

[Jackpine]

Dash

I agree the constant battle does getting tiring but the alternative isn't great either. The surgery, radiation, chemo and drugs does give a per pause. But I think the new treatments are wonderful for beating this beast I know it sounds like I’ll be going on LU177 in July. Keep positive stay strong and know we can beat this beast. Just know it’s a long fight. Family, faith and positive thoughts can go a long way in making the fight easier.

[Schwah]

Please try and force yourself to exercise. Best is weight training if you’re on Lupron or something similar. Three days a week minimum for an hour and wirk hard. Does wonders for the spirit , the fatigue , the depression , the weight and for the body. My dr told me that his patients that do it feel pretty good. Those who don’t -struggle mightily.

Schwah

[Break60 in reply to Schwah]

Totally agree!

[leo2634]

Take the advice of the Brothers on this forum and stay positive. Go out and buy yourself something you've always wanted, go somewhere you've always wanted to go, surrounding yourself with the people and things that make you happy in other words live your life to the fullest. The most important thing is to keep a positive attitude cancer hates that. Stay strong my friend God bless.

[George79]

Echo what previous posts said about exercise. Had hip surgery in Dec. became a couch potato. Started walking and working with trainer. Feel much better. I’m a five year survivor. Age 81. Presently on xandi. Zytiga stopped working. A bit of nausea but otherwise no problem.

[Wdoug]

Forget that "However" sentence and stick with your blessings and positive thoughts for the future!

[henukit]

You've made an amazing progress in life achieving many dreams some won't ever touch. I'm sure, you will do even more in the next 5, 10, 15 years. Rock on!

[Robertleeb]

I had aggressive, Gleason 4+4, everything is good and in remission but the fatigue is enormous from the 6 month Lupron shot ,I am not on Lupron anymore and I am going to rehab for 5 weeks to get my strength back, some days are alright and some I am so tired and weak, I was up late one night and looked up the weakness caused by the hormone therapy and it said it can take 6 months to a year to get my strength back. it is very depressing but I will keep moving forward and not let the depression take over.

Prayers for you to have a lot years, I read there will be a cancer vaccine in 4 to 5 years

that is killing the cancer of 98 percent of mice in testing. hope it works great for humans.

God Bless

Robert

[Tak-Druk]

Hey Dash... thanks for the post. I see a reflection of my own journey in all of the changes and experiences that you mention. Having cancer has been revolutionary like nothing else I have known in this life. You've hit me on a philosophical note this morning...

It strikes me as a beautiful irony that cancer has brought so many blessings and filled me with such gratitude. I have really worked hard to be open, and to let it change me. I am honestly grateful that my life has been blessed by this particular way of dying; whether my actual death comes next year or ten years from now (hopefully the latter, but I feel prepared for whatever comes.)

While living with cancer for the last 5+ years, I have found myself witnessing the dying of others with a new poignancy; whether younger or older, dying fast or slow, from this or that. In addition to all the positive changes I have made in my way of living, I have been using the opportunity to continue to look at my deepest fears as unflinchingly as I can. I am learning to embrace the losses that comes to me, and to all life, in part by cultivating greater awareness of and connection to the regenerative cycle which has always embraced me, whether or not I paid heed.

This does not necessarily feel "positive" in a conventional sense; it feels like a fire that is cleansing, clarifying, and empowering. I have room, and I consciously make room in my life for grieving, sorrow, sadness, and bad days. I don't have a lot of energy to give to people who can't afford me the same (and that definitely does eliminate, or at least marginalize, some relationships.)

When I let my heart break and really let myself feel that, l re-discover how full of love I am. I have really experienced that there is more than enough love to go around because I have found this bottomless well inside me, and I am no different from anyone else. Grieving is not the cost of loving, it is love itself. This is the reward I have discovered in my work of dying. Sometimes bittersweet is better than upbeat.

I hope for healing in all of us, however we choose to fight. For me, I know that there will come a time when fighting is no longer what I need to do, and I have no problem taking responsibility for that. I'm not planning to hasten my exit, I'm expecting to go right on time! Wherever any of us are in all this, I hope that we find love and blessings in our lives, and that they unselfconsciously overflow to touch those around us. I have found that being among the dying is a unique opportunity. It's not always pretty, but I create and discover the meaning in my struggles. I make room in my life for dying, because it gives greater meaning to my living. And as much as possible, I surround myself and spend time with people who want the same for themselves; for their own lives, and their own dying, and death. This forum is one of the places where I feel some of these people surrounding me. It looks different in all of us, and I learn from our differences. I also count myself as profoundly lucky that my wife and partner is doing this work alongside me. I believe that her burden is no less than my own... if not more.

Lastly, I also try to make room in my life for the already dead, of my generation and all the generations going back to a dark and forgotten past: I feel connected through my indebtedness and gratitude. I have known abstractly that 'one day' I will join them, but I feel it now: I am already with them, and they have always been with me. So today I work and pray so that the ripples of my own little life nourish all: this world, the dead, the dying, the living, and the generations yet to come. Thanks for prompting this reflection, and the opportunity to connect more deeply with my own experience.

[dadeb in reply to Tak-Druk]

Beautiful words.

[BigRich]

I took a bad fall. and I need physical rehab. It pains me to walk across the room. That week, I was going to join a health club to counter the effects of Lupron, Zytiga, and Prednisone.

Now this week I begin physical rehab. This is just another fight for my Quality of Life. I have been fighting PCa for 20 years. At times you are tired, but you push it through.

The Lord never promised you a smooth sail, just a safe port.

God Bless, A member of the Reluctant Brotherhood,

Rich