Jim is gone: Most of you here probably... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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Jim is gone

122 Replies

Most of you here probably remember him as nameless9999. I know that he thought the world of a lot of you. Good luck to all you guys.

He felt that living with terminal cancer wasn't living. We will miss him. Sorry to confuse anyone. I will delete his account in several days.

122 Replies
MyDad76 profile image
MyDad76

I only joined recently and did not have the opportunity to meet Jim. Please accept my sincere condolences.

MyDad76 profile image
MyDad76 in reply to MyDad76

I'm not a native English speaker so if understood the message wrong, I appologize!

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to MyDad76

You understood correctly.

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3

???

Dr_WHO profile image
Dr_WHO in reply to erjlg3

I am afraid that another brother is gone Jackie. I hate this disease.

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to Dr_WHO

Oh No!!! He Will Be So Missed. He Was Quirky, Funny, Helpful And Kind. My Most Sincere and heartfelt sympathy for all and his family. :'(

I am shocked :( and saddened. May You Have Peace Nameless.....

Dr_WHO profile image
Dr_WHO in reply to erjlg3

I agree. Nameless came to my aid more than once. I looked up to him.

To Jim’s family, Nameless was a tower of strength. He help so many people, including me. You have people around the world honoring his memory. God Bless.

ronton2 profile image
ronton2 in reply to Dr_WHO

Jim left a lasting impression. To be so remembered is no small thing. No more nameless!

Sorry to confuse anyone. I edited the post.

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to

Thank You Mrs. Nameless. We're So Deeply Saddened And Deeply Sorry for you and your family's heartbreak. We're Here If You Need us. May You All Find Peace.

Healing Hugs,

Jackie

in reply to

Peace to you!

Dan59 profile image
Dan59

I am so sorry to hear this , and for your loss, I wish there was something I could have done, I feel so bad I could not help, I am so sorry. Jim was my freind he inspired me to keep going in my battle, I will miss him, may you rest in peace Jim.

in reply to Dan59

Please tell his friends here that he is no longer part of your group. you had to know him to understand. thank you.

ronnie1943 profile image
ronnie1943 in reply to

So very sorry Mrs nameless, Jim will be greatly missed by all who knew and loved him.I am caring for my husband Sam and Jim always had such a way with words he always gave me renewed strength to help my husband in his fight.

We all will miss you Jim. Rest in peace.

Lynn and Sam

Burnett1948 profile image
Burnett1948

Burnett1948.Thanks Jim

Mrkharn profile image
Mrkharn

Im sorry.

He added a lot to the conversations. We will miss him.

Mochapaul profile image
Mochapaul

Yes, it would be helpful to define "gone" as it implies several actions on his part.

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to Mochapaul

For anyone who was confused, Dan59 makes the original message crystal clear in a couple of his messages below.

Chiquis profile image
Chiquis

I was on the impression that he just posted something yestarday. Very sad to heard this.

Sincerely,

Erika.

Olivia007 profile image
Olivia007

I’m sorry my condolences

MrEd44 profile image
MrEd44

Very sorry.

leswell profile image
leswell

Les and I loved nameless. Please assure us that he hasn’t died.

Jan and Les

Wayne-P profile image
Wayne-P

I'm confused and heartbroken. I take it by your message he took his own life before the evil beast could.

If Jim is deceased please accept my sincerest condolences - it's no fun is right living w PC.

Sincerely

Jorge

Chask profile image
Chask

I can’t say I had much interaction with Jim on this forum, but we are all brothers on this site,

If my understanding is correct, he decided his own time and method of departure and I am full of admiration for that! When the time is right, I may well do the same myself.

However I do offer my condolences to you. It is always difficult for those left behind, but be consoled that he is now at peace.

in reply to Chask

Chask

You said: If my understanding is correct, he decided his own time and method of departure and I am full of admiration for that! When the time is right, I may well do the same myself.

Thanks for pointing this out. It's important that we all respect the decisions that others make here, even if they are ones we don't agree with. Not saying anyone here is a problem, just pointing out the importance of that.

We are all alone when we make our decisions, no one can really know what goes into them or what's going on inside someone. I know it's easy to judge from the outside, but you'd have to be on inside to really understand.

Not everyone with a terminal, debilitating disease thinks that life is worth living under those conditions. I respect that and understand it. Many of us here have at least thought about it, whether or not we care to discuss it.

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

Well said, Gregg.

Neal

sidnw profile image
sidnw in reply to Neal-Snyder

So true Greg.....I have thought about whether going when the time comes since I just got out of hospital..had 2 transfusions, tests, and more tests..no end. Exhausted, disgusted, and wondering when....Just started Xtandi..Red rash on and around knees, face quite red...Is it the xtandi..anyone else have that..have taken 3 pills in 3 days. Dr. saidone pill a day to start...and, so, when will this stop working..if it works at all...Zytiga helped for 7 or 8 mths. Is this how everyone has to live?

Sidnw(shyrlene, his wife)

joeoconnell profile image
joeoconnell

we need more exposer to choice. this one is like never ever discussed on this site

in reply to joeoconnell

Maybe thought about more about than talked about. ...

in reply to

It seems to me that society in general has more compassion for dogs and cats than it does for humans when it comes to this subject.

joeoconnell profile image
joeoconnell in reply to

i thought that very same thing as i watched my wife die over a six month period

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to joeoconnell

:'(

MelaniePaul profile image
MelaniePaul

Hello Nameless9999 and everyone here.

I think the original post was written by you, Nameless9999. And I hope that you are still with us when you read this.

Do you really feel that life isn't worth living? Even though you have terminal cancer, perhaps there are still things in life you could enjoy and people with whom you would love to spend some time?

Of course, ultimately, it is your decision and your decision alone. I wish you would reach out for help and talk about this with someone person to person.

Mel.

MelaniePaul profile image
MelaniePaul

Hi everyone.

I did not find it confusing. My first thought was: he commited suicide and this was his way of letting us know. And nobody here wanted to call it as it is.

I sincerely hope I am wrong.

Mel.

Chiquis profile image
Chiquis in reply to MelaniePaul

I hope that wasn't the case. I got tears just to think about it.😢

Prayers for all of you.

Sincerely,

Erika

in reply to MelaniePaul

I think all us had hoped that we were wrong, that's why it was hard to call it as it is.

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

Deeply insightful, Gregg.

Neal

Dan59 profile image
Dan59

I knew he was troubled , I tried several times to get him to call me, to no avail, I emailed him last night, his wife replied that he had left a note and the troopers found him, and best wishes to me , but to respect thier privacy. If anyone is in that shape, please call me I will talk anytime. He always had such a good heart, I really liked the guy.

OldFart81 profile image
OldFart81 in reply to Dan59

My heartfelt sympathies to Jim's wife. While I'm relatively new here and didn't know Jim, it's obvious that his suffering was too much to cope with. May he rest peacefully. I imagine Jim's wife is all torn up, and I hope she can steady herself and live a less stressed life.

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to Dan59

:'(

Rogersw profile image
Rogersw

Oh what a shame i’m So sorry.

MelaniePaul profile image
MelaniePaul

Hi everyone.

I am kind of surprised about the responses from some of you to the original post. It was very obvious to me what had happened. The post came from his account, from Nameless9999 himself or his wife, and it stated very clearly what his intentions were. How could anyone here not see that the post came from his account? And how could people be confused as to what the message was? That troubles me a lot.

It is really important to accept the family's privacy. Maybe we should stop writing here about this now?

I am sorry that he was troubled. And I too wish he would have reached out to any of us. But sometimes I think we can even be too troubled to do that, if you know what I mean.

And I wish the family a lot of strength in dealing with this.

Mel.

Dan59 profile image
Dan59 in reply to MelaniePaul

The original post was vague and later edited, perhaps some that knew him were in denial. The account here has been deleted. You also suggested it was him that wrote the original post. He had told me he would not do that and leave his wife without his military disability, I was in disbelief.

BigRich profile image
BigRich in reply to Dan59

Dan,

Was Nameless9999 the army ranger with a great sense of humor.

Rich

Dan59 profile image
Dan59 in reply to BigRich

Yes he was Rich, He was often the first to respond with hope when a new guy posted with fear.

BigRich profile image
BigRich in reply to Dan59

I am shocked, I thought thing were looking up for him. He made me laugh a couple of times with his wit, and I told him, I needed a laugh. A great guy. I hope his family will have peace.

Rich

,

in reply to Dan59

And fantastic advise for me.. I started working out and being more active due to his advice. See ya , on the other side Jim.

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder

Please accept my deepest condolences. Jim was a valued member of our group.

Dr_WHO profile image
Dr_WHO

Dear Jim, you were my friend. I was amazed at your strength. You gave me and others hope. You battle is over. May you find peace in Gods hands.

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to Dr_WHO

💖

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to erjlg3

But What Do I know......

JamesAtlanta profile image
JamesAtlanta

May he Rest In Peace... a dear friend to us all. And an inspiration. 🙏

Break60 profile image
Break60

I feel your pain and totally respect your decision. RIP

Bob

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to Break60

I agree. No one knows the power of someone else's pain, or the depth of their depression.

in reply to Neal-Snyder

I know you are right from my own experience. We walk alone.

ChuckBandChar profile image
ChuckBandChar

My condolences to you and your family.

Litlerny profile image
Litlerny

May God give him peace and his survivors comfort. It’s an insidious disease that consumes our lives.

gusgold profile image
gusgold

I thought he said he was in a durable remission after chemo

DFZ4835 profile image
DFZ4835

I pray for Nameless9999 and for his family. He was a valued member of this group. God bless his soul.

Dennis

Wdoug profile image
Wdoug

So sorry for all of you and your family. Prayers for you all.

larry_dammit profile image
larry_dammit

Sorry for your loss

jimreilly profile image
jimreilly

rest in peace, Jim

I am shocked. Jim / Nameless was such an active and supportive participant on this site. Condolences to his family and friends. Still in disbelief.

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to

Me too WSO :'(

snoraste profile image
snoraste

I am truly sorry for your loss.

dockam profile image
dockam

Oh, my heart breaks - He was such great presence on this forum: his experience, knowledge and wit will be missed. I'm so sorry for this loss

No one truly can know what torment/suffering one is going through with terminal cancer and the side effects of treatment. My best to y'all on this forum and the caregivers

Randy

ronnie1943 profile image
ronnie1943

This has saddened me greatly!! Jim will be missed by so many ! all that got to know and love him. He had such a wonderful way with words and a great sence of humor. I know from all his posts and messages I received that he gave so many the support and hope they needed. Asked for little for himself! I'd like to share this message I received from Jim just a few short weeks ago when my husband had come home from the hospital after surgery.

From Jim.... He asks.....You doing O.K. Think positive. Do me a favor and notice how free a sparrow is. I spend Atleast an hour a day watching birds at my feeder.Love for another person is accepting any outcome, it's part of your spirituality. Things will e fine.Think about it, you have no idea of who I am , yet we bonded.... WHY, Trust and Hope.

The end is not near, there is no end. SMILE.

This was after Sam's operation and we were home, Jim had sent me this. Jim sent messages while we were in the hospital supporting me and after. I was so scared and Jim gave me such support. He sent spirits from his triple heritage, for Sam the day of his operation.

Yes Jim, you will be greatly missed. Rest in peace.

Sending love and prayers to all the family . I am so very sorry.

Sincerely,Lynn

Dan59 profile image
Dan59 in reply to ronnie1943

He would message me as well when i needed support, I will miss him!

ronnie1943 profile image
ronnie1943 in reply to Dan59

Hi Dad59... Its so sad!! hate this cancer!!! Keep in touch. Best wishes to you!

Sincerely, Lynn.Pa.

in reply to ronnie1943

I’m crying reading that. What a compassionate man. A loss to all.

ronnie1943 profile image
ronnie1943 in reply to

Hi, I cried all day after hearing the news of Jim.

He was by far one of the kindness person I've ever known, He had a great sence of humor. He gave to so many the support and the hope to continue this battle.

in reply to ronnie1943

Unreal!

jkholmes profile image
jkholmes

Rest in peace Jim

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder

Very nice, Nal.

Neal

Darryl profile image
DarrylPartner

Just to update and clarify. Jim was cremated today, according to his wife. His family asks for privacy. I mentioned that I would keep this post up for a while, to allow all of us to have a place to share, remember and mourn.

Nicnatno profile image
Nicnatno in reply to Darryl

So shocking. His posts were always inspiring and motivated to continue fighting.

Nick

Apollo123 profile image
Apollo123

Thanks for helping me at a time when I needed it the most.

ggbk profile image
ggbk

May he rest in peace. I pray for Jim and his family and all dealing with this disease.

softwaremom00 profile image
softwaremom00

Tons of hugs and prayers for his family. I hope that he is flying with the angels now.

tom82 profile image
tom82

There is no doubt that Jim was one of the very best guys in this group. My prayers go out to his family. We have all lost a real warrior. Rest in peace Jim.

ronnie1943 profile image
ronnie1943 in reply to tom82

Hi, Tom82, When I came across this site Jim was among one of the first to reply to me, from the start he gave the support and the hope I needed so much. I'm taking care of my husband who has late stage PC.

Take care Tom82 and keep in touch.

Lynn

JLS1 profile image
JLS1

This is heartbreaking news. A few days ago Jim responded to one of my posts with the name of his oncologist who he highly recommended, who we just saw. I was going to write to him privately.

I would be a shame to delete his profile and all of his helpful and informative posts along with it.

My sincere condolences to Jim's family and everyone else who knew and loved him.

mishysmom profile image
mishysmom

May memories of Jim and the love of family surround you and give you strength in the days ahead. Someone as special as Jim will never be forgotten. He will remain in our hearts forever. May there be comfort in knowing that someone so special to this site will never be forgotten.

My prayers are with you and Jim

nereabg profile image
nereabg

Sorry for your loss. I have joined this site recently but I have read some of his posts. His nickname got my attention. So it´s like he is someone that I have known. Rest in peace Jim.

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n

youtube.com/watch?v=Wn_iz8z...

"Of course what do I know?"

j-o-h-n

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to j-o-h-n

Such A BEAUTIFUL Tribute J-o-h-n....:'(..... Tears....

Chiquis profile image
Chiquis in reply to j-o-h-n

Aw!!🖒😢🇺🇸🙏

leswell profile image
leswell in reply to j-o-h-n

Perfect, J-o-h-n. Thanks to you for this and to everybody who has written. Likes and hugs all around. Mrs. S

Emak1 profile image
Emak1

Sorry to hear this. Deepest condolences to Jim family

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3

I found it Nal ;)

He had a strong positive influance on me in a very short time.He cared for others.. God bless Mrs. and family. He has a great spirit.. I’m feeling better due to his advice, of work out six days a week and be more active. Peace to you Jim. ,Thank you...

Clarejb profile image
Clarejb

So shocked to hear this sad news. My thoughts are with Jims family and I hope they find strength in knowing how much support he gave others on here. He will be truly missed x

wagscure259 profile image
wagscure259

So sorry to hear of Jim's passing . Another catastrophic sequella to having this disease . His sense of service to people was readily evident both in the service of his country and to his brothers in this forum . He will be missed but not forgotten . RIP Jim . Praying for all those who knew him and loved him .

dirtfisher profile image
dirtfisher

Sorry to hear this. Deepest condolences to the nameless9999 family. May God give you the strength to endure.

Egerdes profile image
Egerdes

🌹

foreman471 profile image
foreman471

Jim was a brave soul and warrior. I enjoyed his direct replies and sense of humor. To the family: My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time of loss. Your not alone in this, as a son of a fellow warrior I will soon be in similar shoes. I watch now as aggressive metastatic prostate cancer destroys my own father and attempts to take every pleasure of life from him. At some point enough is enough and we must respect their wishes. In this aspect being fearless and unafraid to die without all the entanglements of an agency of death (hospice) makes a person ever more brave in my opinion.

KingRasP profile image
KingRasP

My condolences to the friends and family.

Last Sunday I felt so discouraged I even cried during my Zumba class. Sunday night my husband was very sad as he cried and spoke about his own impending death.

This disease is horrible and so is Depression... horrible and real!

Please know if you ever need support from someone, I am here.

I have not been very active because I have been running around with my husband. We are challenged by boney pain, sleepless nights and depression.

Please remeber Cancer affects mind-body-soul and relationships let’s endeavor to care for our entire beings.

Sending prayers and bear hugs to all who are struggling with this disease. 💚🙏🏽💚

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to KingRasP

💖

ronnie1943 profile image
ronnie1943 in reply to KingRasP

Hi, my name is Lynn, I'm also a caregiver for my husband, and I know the feelings well, the heartache , the huge effects it has on the person and the family,, I am also busy 24/7 helping my husband, sitting by his side and running him to tests, Doctor app, etc. just wanted to say hello and know that I'm here to for support, I had many messages from Jim helping me deal and the he always gave me support when I needed it the most. I'm sure the family knows how much Jim gave to others and how very much he was loved by so many.

Hugs and prayers back to you and yes to all of you who are fighting the fight. Keep strong!!

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3 in reply to ronnie1943

Gentle hugs Lynn.

Jackie

KingRasP profile image
KingRasP in reply to ronnie1943

Lyn do take care of yourself! It’s a fine line between caring for a loved one and neglecting self. Fatigue, burn out can lead to anger, depression and resentment. These would all affect the quality of our care.

Your service is as vital, if not more, than any other treatment.

Take a little break in between and care for your self, so you care can remain effective.

Cheers!

ronnie1943 profile image
ronnie1943 in reply to KingRasP

Thank you, I needed to be reminded to take some time out for me. I do feel I'm getting depressed and very tired. I find I'm going to bed so early at night, it's like sleep is my only escape from the worry. My husband was always strong and healthy, still over all health is good, except the cancer.

Take care you you too!!

Thanks again, Lynn Pa.

KingRasP profile image
KingRasP in reply to ronnie1943

Yes the fatigue and increased sleep can signal depression.. it’s a safer place to be. It’s also necessary to get rest.

I have been using two natural products: SAM-e and Serenelle, both are great to enhance mood and reduce stress. I use it about 3-5 times weekly and then off for a week or two.

Depression is a real culprit that courts this horrible disease. We are going through anticipatory grief and that can be emotionally as well as mentally ( ultimately physically) draining.

Ps. My husband and daughter recently started the same aforementioned regimen also.

Get some sunshine, exercise and maintain hydration, also great for supporting/enhancing mood.

Best wishes Lyn, you are not alone on this journey.

Cheers! 💚🙏🏽💚

Psa73 profile image
Psa73

So sorry to hear of Jim's passing, my condolences to his family. He had a quick witt and made me laugh. I know the last couple of times he wrote they did not come through!? I hope peace to the family and God bless.

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n

I can't seem to shake nameless9999's death from my simple brain. Maybe it's because I feel guilty that he and I had a bit of a run in awhile ago. Stupid one I admit and I should have apologized to him. Couldha wouldha shouldha doesn't cut it but at least "let me apologize" now.

I went back and reviewed his many posts and he once remarked that he was half Shoshoni and that there were only 1,000 left who could speak their native language. Well I guess that's 999 now.

I never got to share something we had in common, while I was grunt in the US army he was a Ranger. So while I bitching about K.P. he was putting his ass on the line for all of us. So James here is my Final Salute to you. May you rest in peace.

And in his words " OF COURSE WHAT DO I KNOW?"

Damn glasses fog up on me.

Good Luck and Good Health to all.

j-o-h-n Monday 02/05/2018 11:23 PM EST

KingRasP profile image
KingRasP in reply to j-o-h-n

J-o_h_n, I pray you can forgive yourself because it’s superb for your health and wellbeing.

I have struggled with unfirgiveness and as a result, had to process a lot of guilt.

Forgiving ourselves can be the most difficult thing to do at times. I am sure nameless 9999 would have done so before he made his farewell.

This disease can affect us all in such ways , that we say and do things in ways that seems unorthodox.

Please take car of your emotional health so you can continue to share, inspire and encourage the rest of us in the trenches fighting this horrible enemy.

There is so much comradere and love within this group no one would hold a grudge.

Oh no my glasses are foggy also..

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to KingRasP

to KingRasP,

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

youtube.com/watch?v=csyHN3L...

Good Luck and Good Health.

j-o-h-n Monday 10/12/2018 1:09 PM EST

KingRasP profile image
KingRasP in reply to j-o-h-n

That is so true . I find love has powerful healing virtues.😀

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3

💖

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3

I believe He's saluting you back j-o-h-n 💖

Izab profile image
Izab

izab

My deepest condolences to Jim's family. sorry he didn't have much to live for. my wife pre-warned me. Keep fighting the beast the rest of us.

Daddysdaughter profile image
Daddysdaughter

He will be missed, my condolences.

paulofaus profile image
paulofaus

I'm very sad to read about this. Jim always made helpful and supportive comments on my posts and sent me a private message of support just six days ago, which was really helpful. I'm sorry he's gone.

Drcrunch profile image
Drcrunch

This was the fate of many of us veterans of Vietnam.He dis two tour of Vietnam and served his country when he came back stateside.He was present when my unit, 5th Special Forces, retired their flag. Our water supply in Vietnam was probably contaminated with agent orange.

erjlg3 profile image
erjlg3

:'(

ronnie1943 profile image
ronnie1943

Yes Jim, You will be greatly missed by so many who knew and loved you. You were there supporting me when I needed it most.. I will always remember that you made me laugh when I wanted to do nothing but cry. Your words were that I had no idea of who you were and yet bonded!! Why? the trust and the hope that we shared. I always read your post and messages to my husband. He loved your wit. We will always and forever miss you, until we meet again.

Rest in peace dear friend.

To your family, my sincere condolences, Love, prayers and hugs.

Lynn and Sam

ARIES29 profile image
ARIES29

Sorry to hear Jim or nameless has gone from us. I am new with this forum but always admired his comments & would love to have been able to meet him.Reminds me of that war song,..we will meet again some sunny day.

Fastf250ps profile image
Fastf250ps

Lucky bugger!! No more pain, misery, disappointment or heartache!

ctarleton profile image
ctarleton in reply to Fastf250ps

Maybe, maybe not. Pain, misery, disappointment or heartache can sometimes move around from one person to another, particularly among caregivers, close family members, friends, and those closest to us.... until it is fully experienced and lived. Along with those feelings mentioned, there can also be times of some relief, some comforting, some satisfaction, or some sense of peace and acceptance along a path that leads from "today" until an indeterminate time of one's death.

One may not be "cured" of the terminal disease, but one may still be "healed" in many ways.

And that goes for the caregivers along the way, too.

Packing it in too early can run the risk of real anger, pain and resentment in those we may leave behind, particularly if there may be significant things left undone or unsaid. It is all very personal, of course. Similar emotional/existential factors also come into play at decision points near the end of life involving things like palliative vs. curative treatment & care, and when/how to enter hospice types of care.

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