Happy Thanksgiving (& Tips)

[NotAChevy]

This was posted here last year, the day after Turkey day, and I still feel these suggestions could make the day better for us all. What do you think?.

Congrats! For those of us who celebrated Thanksgiving last Thursday- We survived. We survived the wonderfully beautiful meal, the crazy family members who talk above the others, those who create drama no matter where they go, and the others who, upon leaving, even the house sighs a collective, “thank god”.

Now, for those of us w/ADHD, Thanksgiving can be a chaotic situation leading to disaster- The chaos of getting the food on the table, the chaotic dealing of all the family members, and the collective quiet that comes when you're left with just you, the leftovers, and all the dirty dishes.

So, how do we survive this great holiday? This year, I tried a new approach that worked pretty well. It is:

- I dedicated myself to helping my mom in the kitchen until all the food was prepared. That way, I could concentrate on only one thing and ignore everything else. Blocking out the dog, the crazy family, and the general drama, allowed me to feel less anxious, and I ended up being a big help to my mom.

- I made sure I filled my plate first. This allowed me to get to my seat and self-reflect on the importance of the day before everyone else sat down. It also allowed me a minute or two of deep- breathing to reduce the anxiety.

- I concentrated on enjoying my food, not paying attention to the stupid antics of Aunt Sally, or the political BS of Uncle Bob. That way, I wouldn't get drawn into their dribble, and I enjoyed my meal 1000% more.

- I offered to help clean the table. Once again, it allowed me “me-time” which helps to reduce anxiety. Plus, I was accomplishing a goal- a perfectly clear table, which made me proud at completion.

- Finally, I went for a walk after everyone left- Just the puppy and I went on a little walk to relax and reflect.

I'm definitely not anti-social, as I love being around people, but I have that point where I want to be alone to just think. I've heard others w/adhd say the same thing.

What did you do to make this Thanksgiving, or any big family meal, less stressful?

[Pufferfishperson8202]

I am so glad you found what works for you to make the day enjoyable!

I am the one who usually stays at the family party from 10:30-8 o'clock at night. The party is always a revolving door of people, yet I am one of the ones who stays. As the day goes by, I often find myself wandering to unoccupied rooms, keeping the kids entertained, or sitting in silence around the huge crowd of people. I decided this year to give myself a good 2-3 hours of intentional conversation with the family that is there and then be one of the people who leaves! Since I am single, my thought always was, "well what else do I have to do when I go home?" But now when I think about it, I know it will be a better experience for me mentally if I limit the amount of time I'm there. What a freeing thought!

[Zilmita]

That's good advice and makes perfect sense.

[Queen_of_Tara]

Happy Holidays NotAChevy ! Nice work and good advice. I tried to focus on one person at a time which was for the most part successful. Enjoying the kids...my little nieces and nephew. And my adult niece too. Not too much of any one person or thing. I'm mentally exhausted even tho it wasn't too bad of a day. And now.. Christmas...