I'm back & Update

[Codebox42]

Greetings everyone, I use to post a lot on here about my ADHD how I felt treated SO differently and the many struggles that affected me because of it, and I want to say since 2020 there's been a MAJOR shift in my life that has taken my mental health for a ride, and its all based on how I was viewed differently for my disability. I want to reach out and hope someone at least can relate to my situation and hear my experience. As with me, ADHD has been nothing but a negative impact on my life. I love that a community like this exist a lot and glad to be back posting here!

[STEM_Dad]

Welcome back!

Since ADHD is an "invisible" disability, I do feel like we are often misjudged by people a lot (including by ourselves).

It certainly helps to have a community like this, where we can be much more open about how ADHD affects us all.

[Amiwrong]

hi. I was diagnosed with inattentive adhd in 2020 (I had hoped they would find at least some hyperactivity, but nope) and then ASD about a year ago. It certainly is difficult when at every angle the message we receive is not in a positive light lol, at least that’s how I see it. At least now with the dx I don’t have to pretend to be typical all the time, though I do find that I am constantly explaining myself. Explaining why I do or say the things I do and say, and often defending myself.

All that to say I think I understand

[Spud-u-Like1982 in reply to Amiwrong]

Hi Amiwrong, I definitely get what you're saying. I was diagnosed with inattention ADHD just a few months ago. The specialist noticed some autistic 'quirks', so I'm waiting to try and see someone about that. I also have OCD and major anxiety and I feel my brain is being pulled in all different directions. I've been unemployed for over a year and my long term partner of 7 years dumped me recently. The summer months are bad mouths for depression for me, so it's been a struggle. Knowing there are other people out there like me, who can relate is a really great thing. In fact it's one of the few things helping me to retain my sanity.

[Amiwrong in reply to Spud-u-Like1982]

I wonder when my partner of 8 years will throw in the towel as well. My ASD diagnosis is still something I’m trying to accept. Like you, it does fill in some blanks, but I’m still uncertain about it some days. My daughter has all these diagnosis, and like you she also struggles with ocd. Anxiety can have ocd tendencies, but she has ocd as a separate diagnosis. I do think our brains are just battling it out lol. There so much contradiction especially with adhd and ASD. For example, my ASD brain wants things orderly, but my adhd brain does not do well with that. If I keep things orderly it is alot of work for my adhd brain, and if I let it all go my ASD brain is in turmoil lol.

It does feel comforting on here to see so many relatable people.

I just read that it’s not the action that causes the emotion, rather it’s what we tell ourselves about the action that causes the emotion. Hang in there!

[Spud-u-Like1982 in reply to Amiwrong]

It's definitely alot to process. My OCD diagnosis was about 15 years ago and they weren't able to control it, as I suffered major side effects with all the antidepressants they tried me on. It manifests as rumination, germ phobia and hoarding. It's basically untreated and at present all my mental health issues are untreated. I also developed type 2 diabetes when I was put on the antidepressants and that is very poorly controlled because I'm an emotional eater and impulsive eater. I feel very stuck, as I'm still living with my ex and we still share a bed because the other bedroom is full of my stuff. It's a horrid situation.

[Amiwrong in reply to Spud-u-Like1982]

Oh my, I’m so sorry. I did not know that antidepressants makes it worse. I was told there was one that’s suppose to also help the ocd, no? I also didn’t know you could get diabetes from it - did I read that right?

My daughter’s ocd is similar to yours but so far she has been able to control aspects of it (like the hoarding).

I do feel so often like I need someone to look after me. I do work, I’m a single mom so I have to, but cooking, cleaning, appointments, self care, that’s all not being done, so I understand you would have a challenge with the extra care you require

I assume you have sought therapy or other treatments? Maybe alternate treatment? Our local university contacted us about a study they are doing with fecal transfusions because they are testing the gut biome theory. If nothing else, it gives us hope that something will cure or help these conditions. Not sure how successful they will be in finding test subjects with ice to try fecal transfusions though.

What happens to someone with ocd if someone else went through and purged and tidied their stuff?

Your ex must have a kind heart. I think you are lucky to have someone at the very least.

I wish I could think of something to help you right now. I see my daughter and my ex actually was similar and he’s now on disability income.

[Spud-u-Like1982 in reply to Amiwrong]

Yeah, my Doctor assured me I didn't get the diabetes from the antidepressants, but I didn't have it before I took them and it developed when I was on them. Only member of the family that had diabetes was my paternal great Grandmother. It left her blind.I went from 14 stone to 20 stone on the antidepressants. They made me completely depressed too.

My hoarding has taken over my life. It's not rubbish I collect, but collectables, but I literally have 5 inaccessible rooms in 2 houses because of it.

I have an upcoming appointment about my ADHD and then I will hopefully be referred for my autism assessment. My Doctor won't help me with the OCD because I refuse the antidepressants now.

The issue I have with the hoarding is, if I do turn out to have autism, I basically form an emotional bond to my 'stuff' and I know alot of that is down to being a happy child and an unhappy adult and wanting to regain those feelings of joy from my youth.

My ex is very cold hearted and didn't try to help me. She just wants me gone and her house back. My problem is we have pets together too and it will destroy me leaving them, as she isn't as caring with them.

Being on disability is horrible, so I can empathise with your ex. I just find each day rolls into another and nothing improves. I'm struggling to motivate myself to clear up and move out. I don't want to go back to my Parent's house, but I can't afford to rent or buy a house.

[Amiwrong in reply to Spud-u-Like1982]

If you get to a place where you can purge you would probably feel a weight lifted. My daughter gets emotionally attached to things too, which makes it harder for sure. I’m the opposite, I don’t want things, and one day I’d love to have a very empty house lol. I do wish you strength to get through this and to see some light at the end of the tunnel!

[Spud-u-Like1982 in reply to Amiwrong]

Thank you. My Mum's the same as you, she loves throwing out things. I just wish I'd never become a collector and then a hoarder. I thought it brought joy to my life, but it doesn't really.

[Amiwrong]

well I think it gives us that rush of dopamine just like any other shopping experience, and then the idea of collecting, treasure hunting, extends the feeling. I can definitely get lost in that!