I don't know why but sometimes I feel at times I just have a hard time relating to other people's adhd experiences and have been thinking about my diagnosis for the past three days now and worry about being misdiagnosed and taking away some else who may need it more than I do.
i am just thinking like I am forgetful, misplace things, fidgety, and have these few seconds of zoning out when I try to read or watch shows or youtube or just living life and can snap myself out of it pretty quickly. I have had a lot of hobbies and since I really enjoy learning languages I like tried to learn like 10 languages, so basically I have a hard time just focusing on my priorities like finishing university and accomplishing other goals. I can start an assignment easily and try to finish my college assignments and all, but I do a lot of different things that are distractions and productive distractions like learning something unrelated that it takes me all day to finish two assignments which I believe could finish six or seven assignments or more if I wasn’t distracted most of the time. Also I have a hard time switching tasks and just one to do one thing all day despite all things I have to also manage (but can switch to distractions and productive distractions easily).I know that I was a bad student for my entire school career despite putting effort in part of middle school and end up just messing around and then barely gradating middle school. Then there was high school were I was doing great but when we moved I just started flunking some classes and had to make up those classes that I failed and barely managed to graduate on time somehow. Now I am in university and everything appears more difficult and have a hard time graduating and made me very depressed because I just felt like I will never accomplish my goals and gave up on dreams. Another odd thing to note is that on some semester I do really well and get As and Bs then all of the sudden I just get all Fs. I am also considered a very slow student. sometimes have to reread because my mind at times seems refuse to capture what I read. I have difficulty completing books or news articles and just instead watched videos on the topics online. Sometimes with just verbal instructions I just have a hard time understanding that it frustrates others like they would say turn it this way or flip something and then they just frustrated because I didn’t understand. I am just treated like I am a special kind of person. Which in turn gives me a lot of self-doubt in my own ability.
I do pace and walk around a lot, I am so completely aware of time that it sometimes times feels like time is flowing slowly which seems to be the opposite of what adhd people experience, I do bump into things but never seriously hurt myself and it appears like other people hurt themselves pretty badly at times and I am very cautious for someone with adhd.
An odd thing that I do that doesn't appear to be adhd is that I happy stim randomly and when I am irritated and that happens when I am have allergies or when my eyes are itchy. My dad also does stimming at times when he is only excited about stuff as well. I also kind of annoyed people and get intrude people when they are busy so I have to setup times where I can only visit them on certain times, so I bother them less, but I still occasionally bother them despite not knowing what to talk about and also I am just not great at having conversations. I was never a hyperactive kind of person like the following people.
some family background on what I noticed personally and none of them have been diagnosed and it is just from my personal observation: My dad is extremely forgetful and misplaces things and hyperfocuses on certain subject that it has become annoying.
then my sister appeared to be hyperactive and is extremely forgetful more than me and misplaces her stuff everywhere and sometimes you can instruct my sister to do something and forgets like in less then a minute. She was really jumpy that she ended up hitting her head hard enough that she ended up bleeding on her head which in hindsight it is funny now but scary at the moment. she is also a very careless driver she seems to bump into poles and random stuff objects. And also very blunt. And my brother probably has more subtle form of that is isn’t noticeable so I can’t say much besides that he gets bored, impatient, and procrastinates a lot.
So I am not a person with a fast brain like other adhd people seem to have, nor do I necessarily get bored like some people with adhd. I do get rather impatient at times. I can start stuff that maybe difficult like to others like brooming and mopping and completing it but struggle to completely clean my room because I am unsure of how organize things so it is just disorganized. Sometimes I am able to remember dates for appointments nor do I usually forget that I have to go to class or something.
I feel like if I don’t experience everything that everyone else seems to experience then I must not have ADHD. So am I just worrying to much about being misdiagnosed?
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Look, ADHD presents in a range of ways. The way you describe studying and your life and the way your mind bounces around---that's all classic ADHD. I'm confused about what makes you think the diagnosis doesn't fit. I didn't understand the sentences on you and your father stimming and how those sentences relate to your fear that you were misdiagnosed.
It is true that ADHD overlaps with other problems. Anxiety can present in a lot of ways that overlap with ADHD.
Why not just get treated and evaluate? Evaluate if life gets better, if concentration gets easier.
It takes time to get to the right medication. Too many people come here and assume the one med (at the one dose) that they try should fix things immediately. Nope--that is extremely rare ....
Are you on meds? I couldn't quite tell. Maybe I missed that.
you know I have no idea why even mentioned it to be honest when I am talking about my fear of being diagnosed. It is just something that came up to my mind. I will edit it later.
Also I have not gotten medicated yet, but I will bet getting it soon though. I just doubt the diagnosis for no reason good reason, I feel like if I don't relate to some of the stuff that other adhd people experience then I must not have it and just wonder what if I don't. also sorry for any confusion, I think I am just unreasonably worried when something does not fit the diagnosis.
Also thank you for taking your time to respond to my post.
The stimming made me thing ASD, which will help explain my comment further. ASD and ADHD are very similar. Special type of repetition therapy works with ASD (no medications), but ADHD does well with medications usually. Have you noticed if caffeine calms you down or makes you sleepy or that something that is supposed to calm you (like marijuana) has the opposite effect, making you paranoid or jittery? The stimulant meds usually speed people up, but its like they speed up our brains so we can process and decide how to do things rather than being like buzzing bees.
If I recall correctly, coffee has no effect on me at all or maybe it does but I just never acknowledge the calmness effect of coffee. So, I think I will have to just pay more attention the next time I drink it.
Today I just remembered that I was going to experiment with coffee. So I drank coffee it did have this calming effect, I was very happy and hyper when I woke up that it chilled me down I felt changed, like it just shot me down from happy and hyper to just kinding of vibing. So it does appear that does effect me when I drink coffee. I will continue to document my experience coffee and probably mention it someone else.
Keep in mind, stimulant medications have the same effect, so doctors usually tell you no caffeine if you’re starting stimulant meds. It’s hard to know if your dose is right if you sometimes have other forms of stimulants like caffeine.
A diagnosis is simply a name for a bunch of symptoms. Looking at your description it sounds like ADHD to me, its also a spectrum some will be 'more' ADHD than others, but it doesnt mean one will not struggle.
When I got diagnosed 3 years ago I was severely into ADHD, reading all sorts of books, watching videos etc. This all subsided after a few months. Last year I got diagnosed with autism and ADHD is a little in the background now. Probably, because im medicated and my autistic traits are surfacing... dont really know... in the end if you get medicated it should help you battle some of the problems you've mentioned. It takes time to accept a diagnosis and this might cause these feelings where you feel invalidated at times.
Yeah, I am definitely having a hard time accepting my diagnosis currently. It will take me a while I hope, but I think once I get medicated and realize that it works is when I think I will start to accept my diagnosis.
Hi! Not everyone with ADHD has the same symptoms. Our symptoms can also vary over time, growing more or less intense depending on things like sleep, environment, etc. I definitely had many of your same challenges when I was younger, but I only got diagnosed late in life. I can’t keep an organized house. I can spend an entire day gaming, or reading, when there are things that need to be done. Special interests? Yes, I have an in-depth knowledge of a lot of strange topics lol. We just think differently than neurotypicals😂. It may not feel like it, but getting a proper diagnosis can be a good thing. It’s not easy to figure out how to manage this - but knowing is the first step. Good luck🙌🏻
I was observing my symptoms over time and recently noticed that there is times that where my symptoms are really bad and just forget constantly and then it just goes away and generally not really forgetful I notice but I am definitely known to be forgetful and lose stuff by my family. So lack sleep seems to exacerbate my problems severely and it can be very difficult to do anything. Even when I sort of fix my sleep it can be very difficult to keep a good habit and fall back into just doing sleeping late looking at my phone for an hour or two and even in the middle of the night I can't stop looking at my phone despite knowing that I need to sleep as I find it the most important but my brain is like nah we are staying up all night. I live this cycle everyday and just fail to sleep properly and just addicted to my phone and just end up hating myself and ruining my life. Right now I am in the state of feeling really productive because I slept better this time meaning that I slept about 6 hours or close to 6 hours and apparently my dad and brother also struggles with sleep too so yeah definitely looks like it might be related to adhd. Not going to lie I do enjoy learning a lot of different stuff, but I really need to graduate first before I can even go learn random stuff that looks so interesting and that is going to be a challenge to just focus on two things. I really want to learn more about history, Japanese and maybe learn another language, learn to better play my piano and draw better. I just want to learn as much as I can without jumping everywhere like a crazy person.
HI! Thank you for sharing so openly. Everyone experiences ADHD differently and has symptoms shown in different ways. I recommend you read the “ADHD is awesome” book by the holderness family. Even symptoms are quite different. Within the same family.
Although stimming happens more with ASD (autism), my daughter and I’s ADHD has us fidget more and so things that seem like stimming. Also, I have a lot of coping strategies that are similar to yours. I will hyper fixate on the clock, and plan double the time for my trip, so it does feel like it slows down. I have also taught myself to slow down so I don't run into as much things and have also never hurt myself much when I do bump into things.
Your symptoms seem like a complex type but gearing more towards the inattentive since you say you are not hyperactive much. Also, with your hobbies, do you go all in initially then burn out after a bit, or are they something you hyperfocus on for years? ADHD could be a few days or even a few months on one hobby, but with ASD, its more like you hurt of you can’t do the hobby all of the time and you feel the need for 1-2 specific hobbies for years, perhaps your whole life. I still do cross stitch after doing it for 2/3 of my life, but I can put it down for months and just be fine while I focus on other hobbies. I do find myself cycling through 2-5 hobbies for about 3-6 months at a time.
Also, when conversing with others and reading, I regularly have to reread something many times to fully comprehend it. It takes me 5 minutes to read one page out of a chapter book. I also read books below my reading level because if I find words that I don’t understand, I will literally start researching the word, then forget the storyline. With talking to people, ADHD is more like you are distracted with your thoughts and forget what people are saying. ASD you remember what they are saying explicitly, but you don’t understand the why, so you dont agree. Like “why can’t I understand your sarcasm”. You take what people say literally more with ASD, but you can do that with ADHD too, but it’s not usually as extreme. You also can miss nonverbal communication with both. With ASD you don’t know how to interpret nonverbal information, but with ADHD you more don’t pay attention and miss something because your mind is elsewhere.
Because I will do one or two assignments all day, I got frustrated in HS that kids got better or equal grades and only spent an hour or two on he assignment, but I spent 5-7 hours on it. As a 41 yo, I have learned to set alarms to limit the amount of time I spend on tasks, as I like to do big chunks of time on one thing. I wont start my cross stitch if I dont have at least an hour to do so. I get frustrated when being interrupted from my task and have to transition suddenly, especially if it is repeated.
I also do poorly with verbal information. There are apps that can record a lecture and transcribe it for you. I want to do this with my meetings with my supervisor. I do get notes about the meetings, and that helps as well. I have learned that when I am asked to do one or two changes, I am more successful. I also need positive feedback as well as negative ones seen not as a big deal, but as a problem solving session with ideas to make those changes more tangible.
Hope my information helps you more with understanding how the doctors could see your symptoms as ADHD, but possibly to look into if it could be ASD as well. Feel free to PM me if you need anything more. Zen hugs!
when it comes to hobbies, I feel like I can hyperfixate on somethings for couple years to even just only few days and just stop once it becomes uninteresting. So, if something catches my interest or if something comes to mind that sounds interesting, I will start to investigate this new interesting thing.
When it comes to ASD, I might have some symptoms probably but I will have to ask the doctor about it.
One thing I noted that might be ASD is feeling a bit overwhelmed that I panic while driving especially when I see a lot of cars moving in different directions or when I am intersecting into freeway traffic.
All of the symptoms you describe can definitely be ADHD too. ASD type hyperfixation doesnt usually go away. I have 30-40 yo with ASD who are still hyper fixated on Thomas the Tank engine. ADHD hyperfixation has us overspend on a new hobby then after a couple years or less, it is gathering dust until we finally get the gumption to get rid of it. Then we usually regret spending the money and wasting for something that is no longer interesting to us. I have at least 6 craft styles in my craft box, and have a hand full of other hobbies I can cycle through since I keep them for when it happens again. I also went through a bunch of phases for certain snacks them stopped all of a sudden after a few months. This includes dry Frosted Flakes, beef Jerky, cherries, among other things. It’s like I get satiated and then have to waste what’s left of the batch I just bought.
The overwhelmed when driving is you hyperfixating on the dangerousness or being overwhelmed by all of the details you are trying to remember. It can also be a symptom of RSD (I dont’ want to piss someone off). I am in DBT recently, and they suggest that when I get in that emotional state, drink something super cold or hold onto an ice cube. Also intense exercise can help lower the emotional reaction.
Other books that can help are also you tubers. The ADHD_love couple (book called dirty laundry), and the lady that does both you tube and book titled “how to adhd”. I am sure there are other books that are made by professionals, but I prefer reading things written by people with ADHD because it gives me a sense of insight that professionals may not have because they don't experience it themselves.
okay I think I am definitely leaning to just being pure adhd at this point. I am curious how my dad can just hyperfixate on something like the stock market for more than a decade at this point, whatever it is has helped him graduate university. As for me I just I can't seem to replicate what my dad did. and it looks like my brother and sister seem to have the same struggle of making progress, I am not sure but one thing I can say for sure is that we are sure taking a long time to graduate. I am just very jealous about other people graduating and I am just wondering why I have not made the same progress despite me enjoying learning stuff and want to learn more stuff.
I may have experienced RSD symptoms, as I am known to be very emotional to suggestions or even criticism. I think my parents are intentionally being very cautious around any form of criticism to me despite knowing that they are right and that I have to do stuff to fix my life. I am curious as to what might piss off someone if you don't mind me asking. I will PM you about it.
Also I would like to thank you for responding to all my messages as well and I think I will PM you if I need anything else I just feels like it is getting messy in this post. Sorry if I am a bit annoying as I do worry if I am reaching a point where I think I am being annoying. I am curious about your thoughts on my replies on the post made here on STEM_Dad and and TeggytheScientist.
Ok… so your dad can probably fixate on the stock market like other adhd people do with video games. It stays novel by something new to conquer even though it’s the same thing. My father is the same way with making movies. New techniques and apps. It’s hard sometimes to keep the novelty, but if you do, you’re golden. My work stays novel because it’s always different kids and their conditions.
As for the RSD, I totally get your experience. I’ve learned quick redirections do well with me. The bigger of a deal that is made with the issue, the more personal I take it. I would love PM with you!
You are definitely not being annoying. If it bothered me, I would just delete my notification email 😊. As for the other responses, sleep is always a major issue with adhd. I’m on trazodone and it helps tremendously. I also researched sleep health like turning your screen off an hour before bed, exercising during the day and meditation. Anxiety is also a major cooccurring disorder. I have been on anxiety meds for half of my life now (before even being diagnosed adhd). Anxiety meds are also essential for my mental health.
From what how you've described yourself, it seems very apparent that you have ADHD.
For many years before I got my ADHD diagnosis, I thought of myself as a "normal" (i.e. neurotypical) person, who just happened to have similar struggles to people with ADHD. Until a couple of years before my diagnosis, if someone had suggested that I had ADHD, I would have denied it.
But, looking back at my life, I can now clearly see how ADHD has been there all along.
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Imposter Syndrome is very common for people with ADHD, particularly for people who have a new diagnosis.
You mentioned stimming, which is a behavior often associated with autism. However, many people with ADHD or even some other neurodivergent conditions might also engage in stimming behaviors.
The way that you describe your family members sounds like they each have ADHD traits, as well. So, consider this perspective: I'm sure that you can see some similarities between your family members, but as you described them they quite obviously have some distinct differences... yet, all of the traits that you listed for each of them is a trait that some people with ADHD would have.
ADHD is highly hereditary, and the picture you've painted of your dad, siblings and yourself very much looks like an ADHD family tree.
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I came to understand ADHD long after I had learned theories of personality. In a way, I think that helped prepare me to understand ADHD, how it can be the same thing but appear very different.
For instance, take two people who are "extroverts". One might be very charming and charismatic, while the other might be very commanding and take-charge. Both are extroverts, but they present very differently to the world.
Similarly, you can take two people who are humorous, but one might be the laugh-out-loud life of the party, while the other might be the quiet friend who is always ready with a cheerful quip. The two have traits in the same vein, but express their humor in totally different ways.
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The same goes with ADHD...it can present very differently from person to person.
You are "normal" to you. It might be only when comparing the extent of your ADHD traits to others that you're able to more clearly see that you do indeed have ADHD.
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One more thing: if you've tried ADHD medication and it has helped you to function better, then it's also very likely that you have ADHD.
thanks for the response, sorry it took me a while to respond, I really want to respond but I felt so tired because I just can't sleep well because I just wake up multiple times a night (might be related to adhd or maybe sleep apnea I heard, I don't know). Currently, I am still reflecting on my experiences and with symptoms with adhd and when I listen to other people's experiences especially with productivity is when I noticed I may have problems. When I think about my dad when it comes to adhd I think he got really lucky that he can 'hyperfixate' on stuff pretty easily that it helped him pass university and I think that is why he is undiagnosed to this day. Right now he is really obssessed about the stock market and has been obssessed with this stock market stuff for the past 20 years after he graduated and have no idea how he can be this obsessed with the stock market. While I struggle to stick to anything and change to different subjects constantly and it is really difficult for me to just to stick to something and feel like I have to force myself to stick to my university and Japanese learning. Despite still sticking to those two things, I just keep moving on and on to other things that are interesting and still learning more about adhd and seeing that there is people out there that can definitely cope with adhd and function a good amount that they can make progress. It looks like I am just not one of those individuals that can cope with adhd.
I will probably consider talking about this with my dad about adhd once I am on medication. Right now, I currently struggle with problems with studying and making any progress. When I think about how little progress I made, I start to think will I actually make any progress in life that will benefit me in the next 5 years and I think the answer will stay as no. I will still be in the same spot and still be struggling with making any progress despite feeling better after taking some SSRIs. So it just appears that all of my mental health problems just stems from adhd.
I probably repeated myself a bit lol anyways thanks.
Sleep issues are pretty common with ADHD. (Then again, lots of non-ADHD people are also having sleeping problems these days. I think it's a societal issue.)
Sleep apnea has been said to be more common with ADHD or ASD (autism) than for people without either condition. But, I still think that a lot more people don't have sleep apnea than the people who do.
It's important to note that sleep apnea can cause attention issues in people who don't have ADHD, but for those who do, it can make their attention issues worse (of course).
One way that I know ADHD can interfere with sleep is just from the amount of brain activity. Even for a Predominantly Inattentive ADHDer like me, my thoughts can just get so busy.
If you are dealing with anxiety, depression, or have OCD, or even just due to the ADHD, then you also might be prone to intrusive thoughts.
My own intrusive thoughts tend to wake me up in the middle of the night.
Stress increases cortisol, and the body naturally increases cortisol in the early morning hours to help prepare us to wake up in the morning. It has been suggested that the combination of chronically elevated cortisol and the national increase every morning combines to make waking in the middle of the night might much more likely.
(I take melatonin and another supplement called GABA, which seems to help me sleep better most nights. Magnesium is also supposed to help with sleep.)
I feel like given the right environment I can keep talking and talking but that is really rare were I can just do that easily, usually I am just very quiet person and have no idea what to talk about. But I do like conversations a lot and can get really get distracted for a long time despite knowing that I have to do other things. What I really hate about myself is just randomly disrupting people quite frequently that there is chance that they become really annoyed with me and possibly yell at me and feel terrible all day and think why I am so annoying and feel sad for a good while. I am know to overreact a lot and being a very emotional person which I wasn't at times but I am very emotional person.
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