Starting a new therapist tomorrow

[1_21gigawatts]

I (70 year old married man) have a long history of issues with anxiety and depression. I was diagnosed with ADHD about two years ago and have NOT had any suitable help with it.

Oh, they all CLAIM to be experts, but when my last therapist suggested I close my eyes and imagine all my work stuff clean and neat and organized...what I imagined was walking around the shop looking in every one of the hundreds of neatly organized bins saying, "Where the hell did I put that thing? It was right in my hand yesterday." Simply imagining the great feeling I'll have when everything is done does NOTHING to motivate me. Absolutely the wrong approach, and this guy should have known better. I now feel like I wasted a year with him, and I don't have that many years left to waste.

So, tomorrow starts a new therapist - a nurse practitioner who does talk therapy and medications. My medication options are limited, as I have a long history of panic attacks and agoraphobia. I simply will not go down that road again and I am, therefor, terrified of stimulants.

This morning I filled out some pre-visit surveys - one about depression and one about anxiety. Of course I have both, but after a couple of years living with this diagnosis and reading a LOT, I'm quite convinced that ADHD is behind much of what has screwed with me since I was a little kid.

I suppose I could just throw myself in and let her decide what to do first, but I'm looking for some advice on a reasonable way to get started with a minimum of wasted time.

Your thoughts are welcome.

[TAJB]

Fear not! I'm a 66-year-old man who was diagnosed quite late too. As much as you'd like to second-guess the possibilities. You're not alone when it comes to anxiety. Those with ADHD know how wired we are to think of the worst possible outcomes, and how exhausting it can be.

[STEM_Dad]

Since the first appointment is about establishing the therapy relationship, I suggest bringing notes.

Write down the things that you want to be sure to discuss, starting with what you wrote in your post here.

Write down your questions about method of care, medication, expectations, or whatever you think is valid (like that

hasn't helped you before, and why you think that is).

[Mamamichl in reply to STEM_Dad]

Also make sure you write what worked or didn’t work with your last therapist.

[Fibery1]

I’d suggest asking how many people over 65 with ADHD she has worked with and whether she has any special training in working with older adults with ADHD. I would actually ask her what specific seminars she’s been to and who she consults when she needs supervision and whether she is in regular supervision.

I am a clinician myself and started with a new therapist not long ago. It’s much harder than I remembered. I know I have other qualifications as a Neurodiverse Adult. Having been diagnosed later has made things more difficult for me too.

If she doesn’t work out, you might look for a PhD neuropsychologist with the background working with older adults and ADHD you desire.

[Tigger4me]

Dear 1210megawatts, I hope your new therapist is working out for you. My past therapist was fairly good but I wish that she actually had adhd, cause some of her suggestions were very good but others not so much. When she retired several years ago I didn't seek someone new, but I might revisit the idea of someone new.

Please forgive the small change in your avatar name.

[1_21gigawatts in reply to Tigger4me]

Actually, new therapist worked out badly. I do have other things going on besides adhd, but I do believe that much of what I have dealt with my whole (70 year) life has been rooted in ADHD. It all makes so much sense.

But to hear yet another therapist say, "close your eyes and imagine how great you'll feel when all your crap is cleaned up and in boxes on shelves." I might just run away screaming.

What I imagine is five minutes later walking around cursing looking in every box for that whatchamacallit which I just saw last week on the workbench.

So, I have been looking, with no success. Also complicating things is that I can't take any of the "good" meds. I have a long, long history of agoraphobia and panic attacks, now almost completely under control, and THAT'S an apple cart I am loath to upset.

So, onwards.