ADHD is such a struggle

[secrets22]

Some things i sail through with no struggle at all, and yet some of the mundane things which others find easy leave me in a complete mess, it's like my brain cannot absorb the most menial tasks, and i'm tired of it.

[Spud-u-Like1982]

Hi secrets22,I know what you mean. My problem is I'm slow at completing tasks, which means I take ages loading the dishwasher and drying the dishes. It was even worse when I washed them by hand, as I could take over an hour because my OCD germ phobia would also kick in and I felt like the utensils and cutlery were never clean. If there's a way to change this, I'd really like to know, as it cost me my job because I'm so slow.

[secrets22 in reply to Spud-u-Like1982]

Oh gosh, thats awful for you , and i actually got rid of my dishwasher because i felt i could do it cleaner by hand,😢

[Spud-u-Like1982 in reply to secrets22]

My Parents never had a dishwasher, but now I'd be lost without one. I just go in to my own little works and get lost in my thoughts. My diagnosis for ADHD also noted potential autistic quirks, which could mean I have a battlefield brain with the ADHD, autism and OCD all fighting for dominance. ADHD is exceptionally frustrating though, because I think there is still sadly quite a stigma attached to it. Same with alot of mental health conditions still.

[Old_Owl]

Yes, it is. For me, the keyword is "mundane" (as defined by my brain). These are the tasks which requires a lot of energy- a constant struggle with the brain.

This is something that those without ADHD have a hard time understanding as they don't have to put in the extra effort - they "just do it."

For me the key is understanding myself, my ADHD brain, and not beat myself up about it while learning techniques to deal with it. And I wish it were that simple. It is a lot of work-one step forward, and some days a number of steps back.

Best of luck

[FocusAndFlow]

Yup, I hear you. I'm having a very hard time because this ADHD thing has now destroyed my career, is very nearly destroying my marriage (she doesn't care about me or that I'm sick, at all. Constant negative reinforcement).

No income, no prospects and no encouragement of any sort. I am an island, I am a rock.

That said, I have started reading the Stoics, starting with Seneca's Letters. I highly recommend it. It helps me slow down and take the tasks (mundane or otherwise) and do a bit better. Of course this is a complement to Rx, exercise, nutrition, and all the rest.

I am finally putting ME first and I am putting all my energy toward NOT beating myself up, even if other do, and callousing my mind. Remarkable effects the last few days, I must say.

I highly recommend it. Of course, everyone is different, but basically, learning to consistently 'lean into the effort' of whatever task I'm working on, without focusing on the result is, paradoxically, helping me get better results on a more timely and consistent basis.

I'm literally rewiring my brain to do better. Yes, I have to do all the things required to manage this wide constellation of symptoms and cognitive problems, but I refuse to call myself disabled. World be damned. Not me. I'm all about self-compassion so I can be completely responsible for my life.

[Spud-u-Like1982 in reply to FocusAndFlow]

That sounds like a solid plan!

I'm in a similar situation to yourself - lost my job and my partner is very unsympathetic to the ADHD, despite her seeing how badly it can affect me. The joke is, she's a nurse, but a very uncaring one, so she's good at her job, as she doesn't get emotionally attached.

[Mamamichl]

I’ve learned that I have to give myself a prize for the mundane tasks. Like an ice cream, or even time myself, write it down and try to beat that the next time. Body doubling is helpful too. There’s an app called dubbii.