post diagnosis

[tickleberry]

Ive recently been diagnosed with adhd. Im 18 and have lived with my struggles since I can remember. I feel it just spiral constantly and ive struggled with it more since the diagnosis and there being a reason for it. I just feel silly all of a sudden blaming it for something that ive just got a diagnosis for and im struggling to come to terms with how it is affecting me, eventhough i have had the symptoms all my life.

sometimes i just have breakdowns for no reason at all and find it hard to just blame it for something like adhd burnout or overstimulation

[Mamamichl]

I wasn’t diagnosed until 38. It’s a lot better to blame the condition than your whole self. It takes time to get back to a healthy place and see some of the symptoms as a good thing.

[Prussic]

Welcome tickleberry! I’m sorry for the pain and struggle you are going through. It’s tough.

I’m a 47 yo male in the U.S and because cultural and generational differences are real I’ll tell you a bit of my story and maybe it will help and maybe share a bit of what I told my 20 yo daughter after her diagnosis. I’m from a rural town in the mountains but I think rural or urban many struggles we ADHD’rs face are similar.

First, you are not silly, dumb, stupid, etc. Your brain is wired differently. Every single human can ACT in silly, dumb, stupid ways, sure, but that is not who they ARE. Remember that. You’ll do, think, speak, etc in fundamentally different patterns than a NT person because you have a different brain. It’s ok.

I really struggle with what I just said. I got diagnosed last year. So 41 years, since I started school, of knowing I was different than my peers. I had teachers single me out for bad handwriting, day dreaming, washing the chalkboard wrong, being bad at math and made to go to remedial lessons during recess while the other kids said cruel things. My dad didn’t understand and wasn’t much help. Mom did and was a huge help. Still academic pursuits were a huge huge source of pain. I’m still learning to accept that I’m not silly, dumb, etc. My therapist helps. I’m working on learning to accept that my brain is DIFFERENT not WRONG. I was blessed to find a therapist who is helping me at an extremely reduced cost. His help is invaluable. I don’t know the ins and outs of NHS. Is therapy, with a ADHD knowledgeable doctor, a possibility?

Second, meds. Im bi-polar. And I struggled with opioid addiction. So stimulants were out of the question for me. I’m on Welbutrin. It helps the depression and helps me focus. It plays well with lithium. Again, not knowing NHS, are meds a possibility? I’ve also been helped by: limiting screen time, knitting, drinking less coffee, improving my sleep habits, using a journal and a Bullet Journal, reading ADDitude magazine (free articles online), and watching How To ADHD on YouTube. I live in the mountains so walking and getting in green space is no problem.

I’m a climber. I’ve been climbing my whole life. Trees, rocks,, buildings, whatever. I make my living climbing trees. So I tend to think about life like a climb. The way I see it if you have a ND brain then you live your life on vertical slanted plane in relation to everyone else. You have to have an anchor point above you, rope, and belay device to stay upright. You have to tend slack, maintain your gear, look for holds, and work harder for every bit of forward progress. It’s tough and exhausting but similar to what folks with other disabilities face.

There is an instant camaraderie with another climber. When I meet a brother or sister climber there is a connection around the thrill, feelings, sights, adrenaline, and closeness to nature that is unique. There are of course your various flavor of assholery but generally speaking I trust those folks. Same thing with our ND brains. We understand each other’s struggles. We can belay and guide and encourage because we’ve been there. We can ask questions about solving a crux with no shame. We can appreciate, savor, and celebrate each other’s achievements on a deeper level because we KNOW the amount of courage, work, and determination it took to accomplish the task in a world not suited for our brains.

It’s hard. You can do this. Be curious. Persevere. Remember you won’t do well all the time and that’s ok. Wipe the sweat, or blood, away and try a different route.

Climb on brother.

[Jozlynn in reply to Prussic]

This was beautifully said!

[Jozlynn]

Hi tickleberry!

I completely understand the mental gymnastics that can go on after being diagnosed. It takes a lot to look back over your life and all the symptoms that now have an explanation, and reframe everything as ADHD and the way your brain works instead of some personal failing or flaw. At least it was tough for me. But at the same time, it brought me a great deal of relief. ADHD is not an excuse - it's an explanation.

I cannot recommend enough that you start learning whatever you can about ADHD. 'How to ADHD' with Jessica McCabe on YouTube is fantastic for learning about our characteristics and traits, the things we tend to do or not do, etc., in small bites - and how all that differs from the majority of society. Understanding it better was life-changing for me.

Understanding your ADHD allows you to find ways to work WITH your brain instead of trying to fight it all the time in order to do whatever you need to do. Knowing how my brain worked allowed me to find strategies that enables me to work 2 jobs and take care of my family, after several years of all my previous methods not working. I couldn't create new ones, because I didn't yet understand why the old ones weren't working.

Once I dove into learning about ADHD, my life began to make much more sense and I was able to do things like getting the important things accomplished during my 'strong' part of the day. For me, that's about an hour after I take my meds and lasts until early afternoon. After that my brain is tired and that's when I'll work on the things that don't require a lot of thought from me.

If you're a reader, let me know and I can recommend some good books (not boring).

Wishing you all the best!