Never learned to fly the jet

[NiceUp]

This is more of a venting post than a question.

I'm 54 and was diagnosed two years ago. It has been a revelation and it seems every week I realize why I am the way I am and why my past is the way it was. At work, I'm so much more focused and capable. Basically, I'm behind the wheel of my career jet.

The problem, of course, is that I never learned to fly the jet. For the past 25 years, I've been skating by, under-performing, hopping from job to job, etc. People at work are impressed with my knowledge and ideas, but I find my organizational and time management skills are not much better than my 10th grade child's.

I'm taking steps to improve in these areas but, honestly, I'm having a bit of the old-dogs-new-tricks problem.

I imagine this is a common problem. Any suggestions? Commiserations?

[Cat00]

I was diagnosed about 9 months ago at the age of 47, my life has been a continous set of crashes after many attempts at being normal.Like you I'm having so many revelations about my past and present I'm becoming a broken ADHD record, it's bound to be getting on everyone's nerves.

I also feel that old dog new tricks thing. Every few years I have another great push to try work like a grown up but I always end up very ill, now I'm thinking what's the point?

It's lovely having a name and explanation for it all but I still can't do the required stuff a non-ADHDer does..🤷‍♀️

[StanleyThyroid]

I succeeded to a point in the corporate world but now realise how much effort I needed to put in to compete. In retrospect I survived as I had an autonomous job and kept below the radar. I am now fortunate to be able to work for myself. I do question now the whole career thing and advocate to my daughter that it's better to be happy than rich.

A question to ask is how important it is to you to be a success? Often we fight harder when we are the underdog. Personally there's nothing that I look back on in my career that features in my top list of achievements, except perhaps the people I helped on the way. GL

[Megsun2]

Hi, I can definitely relate to you. I was diagnosed at 38, am nearly 40 and have had trades jobs as well as a professional career. I did well enough at both with a racing brain and have always had friends and family but have always felt like the underdog/hardest worker I know without as much help as I need for what I take on. I think it's become a fairly big problem, mostly for my husband and girls. All of them love me but I know my husband is terrified of any of them turning out like me. I'm not terrified of that, but I do want them to have an easier time following a straight path. I find that neurotypical life generally forces us ADHD folks to eventually choose something rather amazing, either personally, career-wise or both, if we happen to be brilliant. And, we generally don't harm anybody in the process but ourselves, unfortunately. Anyway, hang in there and good for you for venting this here. I'm currently in the exact same spot in my journey with this condition. I would try to keep in mind (I heard this from another woman who has ADHD yesterday) that a person isn't good or great because of ADHD, they are good or great in spite of it. We've got to dig deeper to rise just as high or higher. Hard road, but stay focused on doing your best/humble when that does or does not happen and do not be hard on yourself- life's too short.

[Rayray2 in reply to Megsun2]

Hello Megsun2. I thought your point about ‘in spite of’ was a good one for people to think about. I was in a crisis too and didn’t get a diagnosis immediately. My 2nd grade daughter did first and then me a month later. But - what I wanted to share is how one provider analyzed the situation. She thought because I had been long term successful, overcoming disadvantages, that I most likely did not have this condition. I thought it was shortsighted for a mental health provider. And it was a skilled neuropsychologist that made the obvious diagnosis and another neuropsychologist that confirmed it and a specialist counselor who also confirmed it and is helping me get control of it.

I’m not an overachiever. What else could I have accomplished? And like you, I accomplished some things in spite of the challenges.