How do people with ADD get better?

[Tormented555]

Or, how do I stop doing stupid things? Saying "that was stupid, don't do it again" doesn't work, because I forget. Medication doesn't work, it always seems to at first, but then my stupid self catches up and after a while I'm back where I started. Notes and reminders don't work, I don't see them after a short while. Positive habits don't work, I don't remember to keep them. Getting down on your knees (or curled up in the fetal position) begging God for help doesn't work. Nothing works. What do you do? Suffer, then die? Any other options?

A line from a Woody Allen movie just absurdly popped into my head. I imagined someone answering "I use a large vibrating egg." Sure, why not? Nothing else works

[STEM_Dad]

As you've noted, the medication worked for a while, then not so well.

The same goes for many other treatments, strategies, accomodations, etc.

There seems to be a cyclical nature to ADHD management. Many times, we might find something that works for a while, then stops working, then stops working again later on. ADHD is very different from most other disorders in this way.

When you find something that works for a while, make note of it. You might be able to use it again on the future.

There's a noted authority on ADHD named Dr. William Dodson. He is a psychiatrist who has treated adults with ADHD for over 20 years, who is also an author and speaker on the subject of ADHD. A strategy that he uses in his treatment practice is to help his patients create their own "user manual" for their ADHD treatment.

• It was from Dr. Dodson speaking on a podcast (the Men's ADHD Support Group podcast) that I learned that I wasn't alone in noticing that things work for a while, then stop working... It's pretty common to ADHDers to experience this.

• He said to make a list of the things that work for you sometimes (not harmful things like illicit substance use), so that you can remember to try them again sometime.

Your list will grow over time, and hopefully you will get a sense of what strategies to use in what situations.

.....

Don't be too hard on yourself. It's not that you're not trying the right things. It's just another common struggle that comes with the disorder.

[BLC89]

Hello Tormented555,I am so sorry things feel that bleak for you. As Stem_Dad mentioned it is not uncommon for things to work for a while and then stop working - that doesn't make it any easier but may alleviate some of the thoughts about your "stupid self." You aren't stupid yourself is very clever and figures things out quickly.

Your clever self wants things to remain the same, even though it sucks, your clever self knows how to navigate the "norm"

May I suggest getting support thru a coach or counselor? It sounds like your clever self needs a different perspective so the idea of going back to your usual is not the appealing option. Your clever self needs some new skills.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been shown to be hugely impactful for ADHD, thinking about your thinking and finding a better perspective is the key.

It sounds like you are at your wits end and your clever self is trying something new - reaching out with this group- kudos. As best you can keep that ball rolling and find someone who can support you and give you tools that will help shift some of your thinking. You can do this, you are doing this.

Hang in there, check out the CHADD directory, or ADDitudemag.com directory for an ADHD coach, or psychologytoday.com for a therapist who specializes in ADHD and CBT.

You deserve a good life, you deserve to be supported.

BLC89

Full disclosure: I am an ADHD Parent Coach. I have been married to ADHD for nearly 30 years and raised two kids who have ADHD.

[Prairiefrontporch]

In regards to things work for a while then stop. I have found this as well, and wondered then will anything permanently work? As STEM dad says, keep a list of what works and go back to then when one starts wearing off. I have found planning apps to work until I get tired of them, then I use another app. Different ways of achieving the same goal.

[Prairiefrontporch in reply to Prairiefrontporch]

Just don’t spend too much money on one system, thinking this is the finally the right one: I have purchased apps I’ll likely never get my moneys worth from .