My hero

[Portuguesemess]

After another episode at work which left me sleepless and in tears, i came across this blogue. The words of this woman described my experience, anger and frustration with NT people... this is why i spend days recovering in bed and feel dread of having to face another day surounded by these people...Here's the link:

adhdrollercoaster.org/essay...

[Mamamichl]

I almost have out of body experiences with my episodes at work. Knowing I shouldn’t be blurting about certain things but digging myself deeper in the moment has me staying up all night and freaking out because I do know better than to do some things. Then supervisors say I can’t talk about those things, and I say I do know better, but it’s my adhd impulsiveness, but they don’t care to hear it. It is so frustrating because the special ed teachers can relate but any admin seem to forget that the kids with disabilities grow up to be adults with disabilities and they expect that we have it all under control, and they don’t think that we may not have the right supports in those years before coming to them.

[Portuguesemess in reply to Mamamichl]

I'm really tired this life... it's lonely and you alwayas feel less than..I'm particularly impulsive when i think i'm being treated unfairly, when i notice inconsistencies as to how the rules are aplied, when i'm interruped while i'm trying to finish a task... it starts building up untill i can no longer hold it together... i become arshe , closed off, silent and resentfull. I made the mistake of telling a few people that i had ADHD and was being assessed for ASD... I changed jobs recently and i felt safe there...everyone was so welcoming at first... then my 6th sense started to kick in ( that or neuroses-i don't trust myself anymore). So i was told of for not attending to a proritory task while i was trying to finish another before my shift was over. I told my boss that they don't have enough people for the work that's needed, that i couldn't go back to peform the way i used to anymore. I was having burnout after burnout ( always thinking that it was a depression and i was crazy ), so i decided to leave my old job and earn less so i could have a quieter life. Turns out, the new job wasn't any different.

The next day her husband, after a condescendent talk about team effort and creatting a good work enviroment, said i was using ADHD as an excuse for my performance at work and was always in a bad mood.

That was just... it's always the same - you're seen as an irresponsible liar and no one sees the effort you're making to act "normal" and be perfect...

[PinkPanda23]

Oh my. She found the words for the frustration of being ND in an NT world. I nodded and cried and raged along with her - not a vent, but a manifesto! Thank you for sharing.

[Portuguesemess in reply to PinkPanda23]

Don't thank me, thank her😊

[Goodtrouble]

Thanks for this, it is exactly how I feel minus the medication part, in my case me seeking the diagnosis was perceived that I wanted access to the medication and now everything must be because I am on medication my mood swings and anger, as it is so much easier for the other side not to take any responsibility, and I'm the end I said, "no it's not and clearly I cannot talk to you about it as you already made up your mind, however some timex it is you