Struggling with work/life balance

[AniSk]

I’m finding myself stuck within the same struggle that I constantly keep circling back to. I feel like there has to be an answer or a solution, but maybe there just isn’t. I tried meds, Vyvanse, for about 3 years. In the beginning I thought it was working, then not so much. I played around with dosing and added adderal as a booster and then came to realize that being on the meds was putting me into a constant low level depression. So I stopped and the cloud lifted.

But I keep finding myself back in that same struggle of wanting to feel better, do better, wanting more.

I want to be able to work more than 30 hours a week without feeling like I lose control of all other aspects of life. I want to be able to focus on things I need to do for my kids about forgetting that I also have work responsibilities that need to get done. I want to be able to go for a run or a bike ride and focus on feeling healthy without forgetting that I have meals to plan and a house to keep clean. I want to be able to zone out sometimes and just escape into something like a game on my phone or a book, without feeling like a failure for everything that I’m not doing.

I don’t know if medication is the answer or if at some point, I just need to accept my own limitations. I’ve only tried vyvanse and adderal so I’m wondering if it’s worth giving concerta or something of that variation a try. Or if I should just stop trying to figure it all out and accept what is. Any advise or just commiseration is appreciated.

[hyperloop]

Hi AniSk,

here's my 2 cents: maybe ask yourself why you work.

Is it because you love your job and would do it for nothing, or is it to provide for your family?

If it's the first, you're lucky, but it's still possible to get out of balance and become a workaholic. If it's the latter, it can be a grind and that can make it all consuming, also leading to the neglect of other responsibilities.

But asking yourself what it is that ultimately motivates you is a way of putting things in perspective and can help with balancing your priorities.

I've found I really need to keep the dream alive and stay in touch with whatever gives me the mojo to keep going, otherwise I lose motivation.

The dream might not be the unadulterated joy of a nine to five office, but it might be the satisfaction of sending the kids to school in shoes. The job is a means to an end, not the end itself, but it has purpose.

Whatever really drives you effectively organises your whole life into a pattern, even if it doesn't feel that organised. If you can see the pattern, you might find that all of life is connected and it's all happening now, not at some time in the future.

In the same way, the things you really care about are connected to all those chores and necessities that always seem to eat up the day. Work and chores can feel worthwhile if they're part of the grand scheme, so long as the real stuff is front and centre in your mind.

Something like that ...

[CheeseIt]

I think just being a working mom is hard all by itself. I just remember reminding myself that I’m not super woman. And when I have tried to be super woman my cape would get snagged on something and start choking me (lol)!

I totally agree with hyperloop - what is priority should stay priority. Like spending time with your kids is an important priority. You’re kids won’t always be little.

It’s okay to not be perfect and have it all together all the time. When you are feeling like you’re in the deep end of the pool, get out of the pool for awhile. Go for a walk or bike ride. Go watch a movie. It’s amazing what a few hours out of the pool can do to clear your mind and refocus yourself.

Most importantly, BE KIND TO YOURSELF. You’re doing the best you can. And that’s all you can do.

P.S. there’s the Flylady.net which helped me not lose my sh$$ when my daughter was little, I was 40 hrs working and commuting 1.5 hrs each way.