So after 3 years of being unregistered to a doctors and some big nudges in the right direction from my partner I’ve finally signed up to a GP.So after roughly 8-12 months of research and having so much inner tourmoil as I have never fully fit a definite description of one thing. I think it’s possible that I may be ADHD/Autistic. Once accepted by the GP is it possible to ask for a dual diagnosis if not what should I inquire about first?
With the diagnosis having conflicting traits I believe this is why I’ve gone under the radar for 30+years although I’ve always felt different in some way.
SPECIAL INTERESTS/ HYPERFIXATIONS
15-26. I had a real obsession with playing call of duty 10 hours a day staying up around 1-3am usually which would lead me going into college and falling asleep. So I didn’t go out much apart from working part time or going for a drink on a weekend which a 2-3 close friends and I would always get drunk before leaving the house so clubbing was never an issue then.
I also used to gamble a lot which was more the impulsive side of me watching horse racing 6+ hours a day going from race to race when I had nothing to do to cure my boredom even watching them when not gambling .
Currently the past 2-3 years I’ve been all in on my work and trying to be successful which has had a positive effect on making me drop the above 2. Always looking at reports my brains buzzing with ideas off starting my new job constantly waking up at 5am or sometimes struggling to get to sleep.
also the past 10 months or so I’ve none stopped researches ADHD,Giftedness and Autism just trying to gain as much information as possible to see what I relate to as I’ve always felt different but just trying to figure out how.
I think my traits conflict massively so even my girlfriend was unaware what I was thinking until I broke down in front of her a few weeks ago explaining how I feel different but I don’t know what’s up with me.
Since then she has pushed me to put the wheels in motion to sign up the GP.
On the point of shutdowns (overwhelms) I’ve had 2 previously:My first one happened at work when I got left alone on a department with a queue of 10+ irate customers, till bell going, phone going etc and I got so overwhelmed I just went into the back and started crying bear in mind I haven’t cried for 8-10 years previously at a grandmothers funeral. So I just walked out there and then, only unprofessional thing I’ve ever done. I went the doctors and they mentioned depression which I told them I’m never sad it’s never happened to me before. They said it could be anxiety then so put me on beta blockers but they done nothing so I stopped taking them. After 10days I was back to my usual self. (Maybe this is why I’ve never signed up to a doctors after moving house as if felt like a tick box exercise I wasn’t listened too)
the second occurred on a stag do where I didn’t know many of the people there and when I go out I’d usually have a few drinks first to get tipsy but we didn’t we went out straight away with all the loud music, lights and new people I was basically overloaded and I had to hurry off back to my room where I broke down and rang my girlfriend saying I’m not like all of these people.
I feel in work my autistic traits are a lot more noticeable and this is the side my girlfriend doesn’t see where there’s more unpredictable social situations I’m not the greatest at meeting new people and having flowing conversations I just keep to myself and speak about work until I get to know people. “So I’ve been told a few times I’m quite awkward” where at home my girlfriend gets the chatty side which doesn’t stop unless I’ve been exhausted from work and I get frustrated really easily so I try to have time to myself then to save arguments.
I also have the constant struggle of trying to have the perfect routine for work but at home daily life is definitely a struggle sometimes in these areas:
personal hygiene,getting washing done on time, always last minute ironing before work at 6am, difficult keeping the house clean and organised until it gets so messy I go off on one and have the house perfectly clean in 1 day it’s happened about 3 times in the past 8 months.
I’ve had a few development delays I see in my eyes like first girlfriend 27, moved out 30, and I’m in my 30’s but look and act in my early to mid 20’s.
I struggle with a lot more stuff but don’t want this post to be too much longer than it is:
sensory issues- if I’m touched lightly the side of my body it’s genuinely unbearable.
when people click and fidget with their pens it drives me insane as it constantly distracts me yet I know I’m always doing it.
I struggle to talk in front of groups/off a script but if it’s something I’m interested in I won’t shut up haha.and a Chaotic brain that never switches off.
sorry for the long post I’m using this as a sort of journal and to see if anyone relates or I’m sort of going down the wrong path in my research.i’m glad to be posting again and moving forward even if it is only the first step in signing up to a Gp!