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CHADD's Adult ADHD Support

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Anyone want to share their story about going undiagnosed with ADHD until adulthood?

Sunshinegrl25 profile image
10 Replies

I'm in my 30s and was just diagnosed a couple months ago. I was going through a tough time a while back and I didn't know what was wrong. I was craving sugar like a fiend and completely lost my appetite. I spent days googling what may be the problem. I randomly stumbled across an article about how the body craves sugar in order to compensate for the lack of dopamine in the brain. I dove right in! Read articles about how many adult women go their whole lives not knowing they have ADHD. And all the symptoms sounded like me. I was baffled! I cried. And made an appointment to talk to someone. And lo and behold, I did have ADHD... anxiety and depression. It all made sense. I mourned my childhood and was angry that no one saw this in me. I was always the "funny," entertaining kid so my parents thought I was fine. But on the inside I was crying and screaming.

Learning about ADHD, therapy and finding support in all of you has helped.

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Sunshinegrl25
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sharkticon profile image
sharkticon

that's a good story. I'm glad you have gotten help. I was diagnosed when I was a teenager, but my parents were skeptical of me taking any kinds of drugs for it, plus our insurance was bad. I didn't get any meds or treatment for it till I was 41. I was having some major depression issues. Turns out getting ADHD meds cleared my depression, because what I think I was struggling from in life was an intense pain of boredom. My brain felt like it was in a fog most of the time, and I wanted to quit my job with no prospects for anything else. It was not fun.

I don't mourn it though. I really believe that everyone has a difficult struggle, but they make us better more caring people. Of course I did mourn for a while, and I think that is good. But I guess what I'm saying is I don't feel like things should have happened any differently than they did.

Wildisland profile image
Wildisland in reply to sharkticon

Hi. My lack of motivation etc put me in a depressed state, so the meds really help as I am living a more satisfying life. But taking a break from the adderal or late at night things don't seem very rosy. I am also on 10mg lexapro. Any advice?

Welshman71 profile image
Welshman71

Interesting read thank you for that,

Mine is on here somewhere lol,

Its been a 42year battle for myself until diagnosis last year,

I will try and find my original post to 📌 up here for you to nose at if possible,

It is always interesting to read other posts from people who suffer or have suffered at some point in life ,

As we learn from eachother from past and present experiences , we also become more aware of what is actually going on with ourselves and our different conditions,

Personally it helps me loads just reading , but i sometimes get the burst to type and share my experiences and different conditions with others when i see that they may be struggling,

Talking is always important as part of our search for answers as we can all learn from eachother 🤞🙂🏅🏅🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Jamok profile image
Jamok

I didn’t know about ADHD until I was studying to be a teacher in college. I had to take a general special ed teaching class and as soon as I read about it a light bulb went off! I cried for the little girl me who was always labeled as ‘naughty’ unable to control impulses who defied authority. The kid who couldn’t follow directions and seemed to always be one step behind everyone else because I had been distracted. The kid who had to get up in the middle of class and run around the room punching other kids in the arm and had temper tantrum’s at 6 years old because I was so lost and frustrated and couldn’t sit still with an abundance of energy. The one who got put out in the hallway, desk and all because I once again didn’t complete my math and spelling homework and laughed inappropriately during class. The kid no one wanted to play with on the playground. My report card was riddled with c’s and D’s with the occasional F and comments like lacks self control, fails to complete assignments on time and fails to follow directions. To make matters worse, I went to a Catholic school and although I was obviously struggling in every way, it was assumed I had control and was doing all these naughty things on purpose so I never received any help or services what so ever. My elementary school days were a living hell! It was tough being a girl with adhd because little girls are supposed to be quiet and well mannered and smart. As I grew, the hyperactivity component improved and I was able to develop coping mechanisms on my own to help me learn and read social cues better although I still put my foot in my mouth occasionally and have to monitor the speed in which I speak and take a beat to let others talk. I have to fight the impulsive urge to interrupt others to get my opinions in and thank God for Siri on my phone who reminds me of important dates and times. I have an extremely difficult time organizing anything And on the rare occasion I do organize some thing it falls apart pretty quickly because I don’t stick with it. It’s caused many conflicts with my husband, I’ve let down my children by forgetting pick up times or permission slips etc, and flaked on projects assigned to me because I get overwhelmed trying to organize my brain so I can complete the task. So many incomplete tasks! I’ve never been medicated other than coffee nor have I gone to a therapist to receive an official diagnosis. But learning about ADD and knowing that it is not some thing I do on purpose, that I’m not dumb or lazy but the complete opposite to be able to navigate a non ADHD brain world all on my own. My self esteem suffered immensely but Now that I realize how far I’ve come, how smart I am to overcome some of these challenges, I’m really proud of myself and I finally have compassion and admiration for that little girl that I used to loathe.

28560Life profile image
28560Life

The week of my 58th birthday!!! Yes, im old 😂😂.

Nicolai41 profile image
Nicolai41

For me I’m 41 and didn’t have a clue until January 2022. My boss asked a question about it after i mentioned I was dyslexic and then slowly the pieces started falling into place.

At school they sent me for hearing tests as they thought I was deaf as wasn’t paying attention in class. I wouldn’t say I was loud or hyper per say in class….very shy and not much confidence so kept most of my thoughts in my head (thought it was very normal). I do remember running around everywhere at full sprint and was quite a good athlete (brain could react very quickly).

I was always slow at learning in school and it took immense effort to pass my school exams to take an electronic apprenticeship at age 16. Big company which allowed me to hide within and spend 20 years working my way up slowly to become a lean six sigma expert (problem solver who needed to think on their feet when running workshops). Perfect until I change roles and my world started to fall down around me. Bad boss and bad choice which flagged up my dyslexia at age 35. Hid this and want travelling for a year before struggling through jobs when I came back until I found a company which prides itself with neuro diversity. Relationship wise…..well I’m nearly 42 and have been in lots of relationships but never been able to commit fully or handle conflict or in any way at all. Low self confidence and self esteem keep me trapped in relationships which I should move on from. And doubts in what I really want being possible and people pleasing causes me issues. I used to joke that I would end up marrying someone before breaking it off. Something that I nearly did…..

I’m still learning to trust my brain and nit doubt myself but I’m still struggling as I just don’t know what’s right it or should I say what’s right for me….I compare myself to other people and what they do rather than what’s right for me. I’m slowly believing that I am my adhd and adhd is me and not something separate which I need to fix or get rid of. The person I need to be with needs to accept me (and I need to accept me).

My adhd is slowly becoming something that I’m proud of, especially when coming up with creative solutions or the way I can enjoy myself sitting alone in nature watching ripples on a river or leaves move in the breeze. I’m alway the first to spot wildlife and I’m still a big kid at heart.

Thanks for reading this far if you made it. One thing I’m learning is some of us do struggle to communicate like some of our neuro typical peers but I love the fact I dont have to hide myself from you lot.

Cheers

Nicolai41 profile image
Nicolai41 in reply to Nicolai41

Should also probably mention that I become very overwhelmed which causes me to keep myself to myself more than I should. I feel very much a liner despite appearing to be the life and soul of the party and highly socialable…..until I’m not or I just close down friendships over trivial things which perhaps I should not. Sorry feel like this is becoming my therapy session. Hope it helps others- think it’s helping me.

ChuckMemphis profile image
ChuckMemphis

Diagnosed at 51!!!! I’m a woman, so when I was growing up no one thought girls could even have ADHD.

WriterG profile image
WriterG in reply to ChuckMemphis

I heard that same crap, ChuckMemphis! I also heard that kids grew out of it. The reason why girls get the short end of the stick is because most of us don't have the hyperactivity part hence the ADD verses ADHD) We were all on the lookout for the boys who basically were fidgeting out of their chairs in school, or running around the classroom, i.e, the class clown, Most women have the "inattentive" type of ADD, where we stare blankly out the window, hearing and seeing nothing going on in class...and more.

WriterG profile image
WriterG

Wow, I thought I was alone here. I was diagnosed at the age of 45 after basically doing cartwheels down the street while jumping through hoops of fire trying to get someone to validate me. See, I did something bad and no one let me forget it. One of my sons was diagnosed when he was about 6 years old and put on Ritalin. I started reading more about it, as I had some really incorrect beliefs about ADD, and that is when I discovered adults could have it as well. Incorrect assumption #1: I believed kids grew out of it....

Then I started reading the symptoms of adult ADD and cried a cry of relief. There actually was a name for what I had felt (or not felt) my entire life! In fact, I read them off to my husband without telling him anything about what they were. I wanted his reaction and he said those sound just like me! Bingo!

It took me probably a good 10 more years before I got anyone to listen. Oh, I was diagnosed alright with everything BUT ADD. I even tried making them fit because then at least there was a reason for the way I felt and acted. The more I persisted the more they tried to convince me I was 'everything' and 'anything' else but had ADD!

Part of the reason was I did a really bad thing about 27 years ago. Sorry, I did two bad things, the first being I tried my son's Ritalin. Why? That should confirm it or dispute it, which it did too well. It was the first time in my life I felt "normal" and could get things done. It was like having a switch turned on. OMG, it was wonderful. However, I couldn't keep taking his meds, so I did the next best thing was I stole a prescription pad off the doctor's desk. (This was in 1995) and started writing my own scripts. I finally got caught and thankfully hell didn't break loose.

The thing no one could understand was the reason for doing this. I blamed the doctors because they were so hell bent on trying to disprove my claims. It was ridiculous and forced me into these acts.

Anyway, it was summer of 2000 when I met an angel, posing as a psychiatrist. We sat down and within 15 minutes of describing my childhood up to present day, she said "you have ADD" and wrote me my very own script! I saw her for almost 10 years, but in 2009 she moved out of state and took a job at vets hospital.

After my diagnoses and legit prescriptions of Ritalin, I got mad because of all the wasted years. I was pissed that I had to go to this extreme but it was only after years of being ignored by doctors. Once I filled my script I wanted to shove the pills up their......

My entire life before 45 was one big ball of chaos after another from my first memories! I won't go into the list or I'd be here until the sun comes out (it's 3:00 am) It just wasn't right! I had almost every classic symptom there was...and went through hell because of it.

Just because I had meds I still couldn't go back in time and have a redo! There were sooo many things I didn't, excuse me, couldn't do and time was running out.

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