Problems with anger (emotional disregulation)

[frequentstumbler]

I am having a problem with anger recently. about a week and a half ago I became furious and couldn't rein it in till it was "over". This frightened me and the other people present. There were circumstances that led up to the incident and from what I understand I was at "overload" as far as coping when it happened. I am looking for help with this problem and I'm not sure where to look or who to contact. so far I've started looking into emotions anonymous and that's as far as I've gotten.

Any help or suggestions would be very appreciated.

I live in Canada.

[Bentleybexley39]

I have extremely messed up anger issues. Doesn’t matter my meds the anger never goes away. I have been looking for help - found nothing. Therapy was good, but I needed to see her so frequently that it was too expensive.

[Hominid711]

One incident? I wouldn't worry. Can be totally normal. Upsetting obviously if you like to be always in control/are the reserved kind but a necessary release sometimes. If you feel upset all the time you may need to talk about your stress with f&f or professionals or others you trust if f&f are the problem.

[Hidden]

Have you ever been evaluated for ADHD? I was diagnosed at 52 and put on meds and it’s taken years to find the right med and dosage. In addition, therapy along with meds sealed the deal. People with ADHD often have a difficult time with emotional regulation. They overreact to things that seem trivial to others and have a difficult time letting things go that make them angry.

You may want to see a psychiatrist and be evaluated for ADHD. If the evaluation points to ADHD, talk with your doc about a treatment plan and execute it. Try and be patient and don’t give up. There’s a lot of meds and combinations. It took me almost 2 years to get where I’m at now. The addition of a therapist sealed the deal. All the best.

[addacademic]

if it's just one incident, you might be unfairly chastising yourself.

Anger is probably one of the worst sides of emotional dysregulation. It can be quite destructive to your social relationships so it's very important to tackle it. You'll probably need a psychotherapist who can focus on anger management specifically with you - because unlike other emotions, it isn't one that is completely safe sharing and dealing with through your friends. Yeah, it is really really frustrating.

For now, i would recommend practicing "pauses" before responding in anger. Journaling and meditating can be good ways to process your anger. It's also worth reminding yourself every time you get angry that it MIGHT be justified anger, but acting on anger isn't likely to help AND the ADHD brain can "like" anger because it produces a dopamine réponse we do desperately need more of. Objectifying the anger can, with practice, help somewhat.

I have a little experience with anger. I've always managed to contain it within situations that would never come back to hurt me (anonymous online interactions), but I still find it embarrassing that I use anger to stimulate my brain. I'm really not proud of it, but I've learned that the above skills helps... And so does simply removing myself from situations that might incite anger.

[NeuroDivergentFairy]

I agree with addacademic !

All my life I thought I had a serious anger problem... just to find out that it's really just frustration caused by severe emotional dysregulation. Our brains struggle to process emotions and that is just plain frustrating. We can go from 0 to 60 in a millisecond and then it's just hyperfocus all the way until you're just exhausted. And there are times that I know I am being completely unreasonable or irrational but I can feel the anger in my bones so I just can't stop.

if this isn't your "norm" reaction, maybe you are being a little hard on yourself. Give yourself some grace and try to do better next time.

Coping Mechanisms: Keep looking for a therapist that specializes in ADHD. Therapy alone can help you increase your self-awareness, promote mindfulness, and help you expel some of those frustrations to a 3rd party. A therapist with this specialty should be able to offer other helpful strategies that are more geared towards you. As for me, I have to sometimes excuse myself from situations that I know I am struggling to process. Unfortunately, I have to keep quiet alot because I've had alot of those embarrassing moments with my temper and I say alot of stuff I don't mean. So just being mindful to not say everything that crosses your brain in those moments can help... you can say it later if you've taken time to process and you still feel that way lol

Stress makes all of this worse so anything you can do to decrease stress and increase dopamine will be helpful. Exercise. Do something you love on a daily basis. Get outside in the sun, etc.