Did having ADHD make school miserable for you? Do the effects ever go away?

[Nleor623]

I'm 24 now and not entirely sure how I graduated high school or college. Not being able to keep up with homework or pay attention in class and missing school and classes, made every part of school miserable. Constantly staring at a clock waiting for class to end, for the weekend, to get over the constant anxiety and shame from not being able to keep up. Stimulants saved me senior year of highschool, but I wasn't able to get meds after that and only just now got a new diagnosis.

When on stimulants or due to a boost from life events (temporary sources of motivation, like a new hyperfocus, or relationship for example), I would suddenly feel like I had access to the "real me" who was capable and creative and enjoys learning and engaging. As opposed to feeling inherently stupid or lazy.

I got more and more burnt out over time and once I finished college, I couldn't work a full time job. Six months part time had me barely able to get up for work, and now I haven't worked in two years and don't know if I could. I might finally be getting closer to treatment, but it's really hard to accept that I can't go back and redo school. Any time things come up I feel like I have to make it a joke that I was just always stupid and lazy and bad at school.

The other hard part is the dreams. Either due to sleeping issues or a medication or both, I often have very intense, repetitive dreams that feel real and are hard to get up from. I'll wake up every 45 minutes from dreams that feel hours long, and keep falling back into it.

Sometimes they have to do with childhood abuse or issues with my parents when I was younger, but 90 percent of the time it's school related. Usually high school or younger. I'll miss the bus a million times, or dread going to school but realize I've missed too much or my mom will be pissed. It's always the end of the year and there's only a sliver of a chance of me passing everything I need to graduate, and I'm already too exhausted to push that extra mile. I wake up stressed and anxious and exhausted in a way that nothing else makes me.

I know almost everyone with adhd has at least some struggles with school, so just looking to see if this lines up with anyone else's experiences.

[Lauraz180]

So sorry to hear all this. I am in my late 40s. School was hell from a focus and social perspective and I still have nightmares about it. Although ended up going to a very good college. However for me the main symptoms of adhd significantly declined between the ages of 23 and 45. Strangely they are coming back now I suspect linked somehow to menopause. I was never on meds and mainly had issues with attention. Wishing you all the best

[ShortyKat]

It is never to late to go back to school. I had so many troubles in school. I have a processing delay too. It is not just ADHD. I had such trouble keeping up. My ma knew something was wrong, so she had me get tested and I went to a reading specialist. I am 53 so I had never heard of ADHD and I don't know if anyone else had either. I have a processing delay, and my voice sounds really odd, and people would always ask me if I was sick. I would sigh, and say no it's just the way I speak. I started feeling very self conscious. School started getting difficult in the 3rd grade and proceeded to hideous in the fourth grade because of division. Many a tear was shed. My self-consciousness got worse in hs when you had to read in loud and I thank my teacher who reversed the order after my crying interrupted his class daily. I was 20 turning 21, when I decided to try college and I didn't tell them at SUNY Delhi that I had a learning disability and I got thrown out. Some people were very rich, and I finally found a great friend Laura who I am still friends with now even though we live in different places. I then went to BMCC, Borough of Manhattan Community College at night while working during the day. I had to finish right after 911 happened and people from my school had been killed because they worked in the building. Thankfully, I had not been there. I don't know that I would have recovered from it. I went to classes in another building that was about 3 blocks away.

[ShortyKat]

School was very hard, sometimes I was running down the block from the bus. School was very difficult.

I went to a private school that helped people with 1 on 1 help. However, that was only for an hour a day. I am 53, so we didn't know any of these problems at that age about ADHD.

I knew I had some problems when you can't even finish a macramé bracelet, what I'm saying is, it wasn't just in school. It definitely affects me in different places. Social things were easier at camp, because no one really worried about what people wear or how much people's parents, not like at school where I would get dirty looks in the bathroom. That's why I made sure to pass my classes so I could go to camp.

[Hidden]

I hated school more than I liked it because I felt so different, and defective. I was a clock starer too. I loved dancing and singing. They were my outlet for releasing emotions. Dancing made me feel free. Music can elevate my mood too. Dealing with people who all have their own issues, created anxiety. I couldn’t take criticism because it felt like a knife carving away at what remained of me. The emotions would burst out. I got in a fight at school because of a criticism of a necklace that I wore from my grandmother, after she died. I slipped in mud, and all that I got was a broken nose! 🤷🏻‍♀️