I'm 47, father of 3, professionally successful. I was diagnosed with ADD (mild) about 6 years ago, and I resisted taking medication for it.
I would describe my ADD as not being life impairing. I don't smoke or take drugs, nor am I a big drinker. I've very sociable and have never had too many problems with holding down well paid positions. I also sleep well and have never been prone to depression.
BUT.
It has it's downsides. I struggle with being able to focus on something I've little interest in, boredom terrifies me. I'm also not very good at completing basic admin tasks at work, I prefer the exciting blue sky thinking. I really struggle to 'live in the moment' in life, to play with my 5 year old daughter (Barbie dolls house is a struggle for my attention span) and I find myself constantly thinking thinking thinking all the time.
My question is, does anyone else have ADD/ADHD that's relatively mild and has similar experiences to me? If so, does medication really help with being able to live more in the moment and appreciate some of the other parts of life?
I'm keen to understand peoples experiences with medication and whether it would likely be of help.
Thanks
Mark
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DotingDad
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Hi. You didn't mention if you've taken any ADHD Rx or what response you got from it. It's great as to how successful you've been in your career. The downside of not taking an ADHD Rx sounds typical to me. But, also, an Rx won't solve all of your problems. But there's a good chance it might put you in better place. It should definitely slow your mind down and reduce your 'Thinking all the time'. If you were to try an ADHD Rx, what are your concerns about trying it? Also, you may have to try several until you and your Dr find the right one for you.
I would say ADHD does impair you significantly! You just do not know what it would be like to live a more - non ADHD life. We are born with ADHD it is a disturbance in the nephropathy in our brain . I am a 76 and a semi retired Nurse Practitioner . I took Addeeral XR for several years and found it helped me focus and stay on track. I have a cardiac Abnormality and my Cardiologist has said NO NO to any stimulant drug for ADHD. And my psychiatrist is not enamoured with the non stimulants for older adults. But I do use High CDC Cannabis two to three times daily for my ADHD. I would say do not wait - go for the Adderal do mediation and get a ADHD coach!
rx = prescription. I have a milder version, according to the psychologist that diagnosed me. But here's the thing: when I REALLY own up to the cost of this condition, I don't know if "mild" means mild in the sense that the man on the street thinks it does. Job struggles, job criticism. Every member of my family has had decent jobs and every one of them couldn't make a deadline ... and if they did, they spent every last ounce of their energy doing so and had nothing left for the rest of life. Is that mild? Is getting horrible evaluations from work really mild on the ego? On our esteem? Is being late everywhere really mild? Is not having systems of any kind truly mind?
Again my case is supposedly mild, but all the ADHD members of my family (only one other person diagnosed--and only after I called him to tell him I had gotten diagnosed) ... all of struggled with addictions (huge ADHD problem) ... eating issues, weight ... relationships (it's hard to be a great relationship partner if you can't pay attention to certain things. Depression and anxiety. Depression is literally deadly ... and even when not deadly, causes huge suffering and premature aging and stress on the body? Is that really "mild"?
I've made huge improvements in organization since I got diagnosed and yet I have colleagues who still run circles around me when it comes to leading people or organizing gatherings and so forth. I guess I take issue with "mild." Mild ADHD, in my view, is still quite devastating and debilitating. You have to work harder than other people, longer than other people, to get the same results. And I have a job--thankfully--that has minimal paperwork, that does not require me to sit behind a desk. If I had one of those jobs, I'd be losing my mind. I'd be 100 pounds heavier to manage the boredom and stress.
So I guess I don't accept the premise of "mild." In fact, I would say the better organized and treated I got, the more I saw that I had been missing all this time. To maintain some self-dignity, I guess my brain learned to ignore and minimize all kinds of things I didn't understand. Example: even my "mild" ADHD had a devastating effect on my intimate relationships. There is just a lot of learning about relationships that happens quietly, below consciousness, in body language and feelings. ADHD interferes with our basic ability to name and pay attention to our feelings. Made it hard to notice when someone liked me vs when someone had no interest in me.
The issue with diagnosis is that it's subjective. I was never medically tested (e.g. blood test or scan) I presume this doesn't exist. Therefore the practitioner can only go on the evidence, questionnaire, interview observations. The issue with ADD symptoms is that most people will argue they all have them, just to a lesser degree.
The good:
I don't have any addictions, depression, or job failures. I'm upbeat and healthy, and professionally I've done fine. I'm sociable and well liked.
BUT
The bad:
I do struggle to connect with my emotions, I lack empathy, I'm overly prone to boredom. This can impact on my relationship with my spouse and children. I also get over anxious at things (e.g. Public speaking) which I've learned to suppress with betablockers ad-hoc. I overthink things, getting obsessed. I also struggle to live in the moment and am constantly thinking thinking thinking.
So I'd love to live my life as a better version of myself. I don't want to compromise the positives (there are plenty) but I do want to address the negatives I've explained above. If medication can give me a pathway to a new way of connecting, of addressing the negatives, then I'm open to it.
Doesn't sound like ADHD to me ... No job struggles, no depression? ... So: can you get to places on time? Can you meet deadlines without life-and-death existential struggle?
Sounds like other issues to me ... lack of empathy isn't necessarily ADHD.
Not sure I agree that diagnosis is subjective. There is no blood test, for example, for Alzheimer's. Lots of conditions were quire judgment for diagnosis. We all have body problems. The line between normal health and a condition-problem often lies along the lines of "how much does this interfere with your life?"
Have you been checked for other issues. Struggle to connect with emotions and lack of empathy sounds more like on the spectrum. No insult intended.
ADHD must have elements of subjectivity for the reasons you outline. If I don't have any of the life impairments you mention, (i'm quite punctual, I don't have significant problems at work, I don't really have any addictive issues and I'm certainly not depressed), yet an ADHD specialist still diagnosed me with mild ADHD (or ADD), then that in itself is evidence you don't need to confirm to type to have ADHD.
If they thought I was more likely on the spectrum, wouldn't an experienced ADHD professional have suggested as such?
No, not necessarily. When you call "subjective" is what I refer to as requiring judgment and skill and discernment and wisdom and lots of training and experience. A different psychiatrist might reach a very different conclusion.
So I want help you, not argue with you. To do that, can you back up.
Why were you getting an evaluation in the first place? What prompted you? Specifically complaints from spouse or children? Your own frustrations with certain issues in your life?
If you're punctual, have no addictive tendencies and haven't had job struggles, don't have depression or anxiety issues, then I don't see the ADHD symptoms. Yes, all conditions span a range. Yes, but organizational problems are like fundamental to ADHD. It's called having a week Executive Function. People with ADHD have trouble making clear decisions, good decisions.
People have trouble planning. People have trouble prioritizing. People have trouble estimating how long a task will take--and continue to have this problem even after performing the task many times. People have job struggles because of messing up details, failing to fill our required forms, or get the required permissions or just failing to meet deadlines and failing to follow procedures.
People lose things, misplace things. Again, people run late very often. They get parking tickets and speeding tickets. No, not everyone has all of those issues, but people have at least SOME of those issues and usually to the point of pain and agony and frustration!
So what led you to get evaluated? And did you go to a psychiatrist? A psychologist? A neurology center? Specialists misdiagnose people all the time if they're not really open to finding something different than they suspect. Sometimes the specialist is screening for one thing and isn't screening for something else. The person who diagnosed you might not have felt competent directing you in other directions.
I just don't see ADHD symptoms here. Just a suggestion: read below ... randomly if you like ... you will see the cluster of problems I discuss above. ADHD people struggle to think and act clearly. We often feel overwhelmed with life--too much to do.
Sounds like people skills are your issue. And yes, many of us have people skill struggles, but that's in addition to all the other struggles.
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