Help. How can I leave a toxic home?

[luckyfox]

I'm 27, dropped out of college a few years back. Took me 4 years to finally get a diagnosis. Still live at home. Lost my job during the pandemic, and have been fired from my previous job. I have been very depressed and feeling of constant lack of motivation.

I've decided to pursue my dream of working on graphic design/ costume design. But it has been extremely hard to stay on track with my goals. My home life is very toxic and my parents are traditional catholic immigrants who don't really believe ADHD exists. I think the best for my mental health would be to move out, but I'm having a hard time taking action in:

1. looking for work

2. getting signed up for therapy

3. getting medicated

My most urgent thing right now is moving out but I have no clue on how to even get started. I have been living at home my whole life and taught to be dependent on others constantly. thank you for any help.

[MrsFunky2021]

I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time at home…I come from a Catholic family also and my child has ADHD as well. I was diagnosed myself two years after my son. From my experience you can’t make any inroads with life as an ADHD person until you get medicated and therapy so I would switch that list around:

1. Medicated

2. Therapy

3. Get a Job

4. Move out

The medication and therapy will give you the right mindset and confidence.

I hope that helps

Wish you the best

[AnetPisc]

Is there a local CHADD that has resources near you? Finding the right provider to prescribe is important, since it can be trial & error. I’m so sorry you’re not living with support. This may sound very fake, but before I moved out I learned how to keep one of my parents calm (ADHD /BPD/alcoholic). I kept my voice friendly, used kind humor (not sarcasm) or redirect when there was conflict. When they’d lay into my faults I’d say “yep, I need to keep working in that…hey could I help with dinner, I’m going to clean this room” something like that. They’d accuse me of freeloading while I was trying my best to get out. So I made myself a great roommate instead of the verbal punching bag they treated me. My practical financial advice is to take advantage of a ton of jobs out there that may sound horrible, but hopefully one will get you busy, out of the house, and hopefully boost your self esteem. Sometimes co-workers, customers, and just the work itself can be a lift. I’m glad you asked for help. You’ve identified a lot to build on.

[BatWoman87]

I just wanted to congratulate you for coming here on Health Unlocked, to this ADHD group, and posting with your questions and looking for help! That is the first step! You know what that means.... you made this first baby step.... you can keep making your baby steps in your journey to better health!!! You got this

[Aviarie]

Get married to a good working spouse who cares about you and maybe try Wellbutrin I use it for Light ADD, major Depression, anxiety some what and SAD buy it takes a few weeks to work taking it about 12 years my miracle drug. I am lucky my wife was a tomboy my best friend introduced me to. I was not launched either! But when my parents house is sold will take money from that to become a radiology technician to Hopefully hold down a job too. My brother is holding 300000 that was for me to live on my own and 100000 we were supposed to get to move etc. I want him to be sued not considering me as an Aspie blind to empathy clueless.