Venting

[Mar_mar]

Aye what's up everyone!

I'm new here, kinda hoping to meet and connect with people and learn from y'all ways to cope or manage ADHD on a daily basis bc man... is it exhausting 😟

I've been going through quite an emotional rollercoaster recently. Been faced with rejection from friendships and it's taken a toll on my mental health. I feel that I've lost touch with the one person whom loved me even when I wasn't the best. It hurts! I've reached out to her various times in an effort to "save our friendship" but I am left on delivered. Some days, when I think back to this, I fall into a depressive episode where I'm glued to my bed with hella intrusive thoughts. Other days, I act as if I don't have a care in the world. Yes, very extreme lengths. I'm not sure whether to let her go and be content with the memories we made or if I should make one last effort to talk to her about how I am feeling? Bc chances are that she's simply not aware that I'm going through a difficult time 🤷‍♀️ and it can all be resolved, right? Sigh, I'm not sure what to do, but I know that suppressing my emotions only build up to another depressive episode and nightmares. Any advice?

[MoonlightForest]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Good friends are hard to find. And a good friendship goes both ways. Give her time. She might have gotten hurt and needs to heal from it. You already reached out to her. I say, write to her one more time and let her know how much she means to you. And then just wait.

Just know that it takes special people to truly be there for us ADHD’ers. We’re not an easy crowd. But the ones that truly care, they understand where we stand. Family and friends of ADHD’ers make it work.

If and when she reaches out to you, make a plan on how to manage the unexpected reactions you may have. Have a key word that gives you both time out.

Things will work out. Make more friends as well. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. The more friends you make, the more chances you have to find support in others than just one person.

Good luck. And happy new year 🎊

[Mar_mar in reply to MoonlightForest]

Thank you! I dearly appreciate your advice as you made an important point that I hadn't thought about. Giving her time as well. I realized now that not only has it been difficult for me to adjust to the pandemic and being in quarantine but it must be for others too. It is important to remind those we care about how much we appreciate them.

Yes, I have been working towards not putting all my eggs in one basket lately. It makes me a little anxious but also very delighted to make new friends online.

Thank you again for your thoughtful advice, it is enlightening to be able to see the bigger picture. And Happy New Years to you too 🥳🎆

[Cherryredzap]

I have ADD and I only have one friend but I much rather have one friend that good and loyal to me and loves me for how I am for example its true I am always negative and I call myself fat and he always tells you're pretty and be positive and I always tell him how I feel. Happy New Year to All!

[Mar_mar in reply to Cherryredzap]

Very true! Not everyone we meet will be as understanding as that one friend whom we trust and love. It's more important to have that one person that we are comfortable expressing how we feel than to have multiple and not feel heard. Thank you for your comment 💗 And Happy New Years!!! 🥳👏🎆

[rywoo]

I think I can relate to this. I've had a similar situation. Sounds like you may be experiencing some manic deppresive symptoms. I came to a point where I was constantly going back and forth in the extremes like yourself, and decided that I had to ignore the emotional reasoning. If you don't, and you give into the hyperfixation and rumination, you won't get anywhere. In my experience I had to say to myself “ok this constant overthinking just insane, maybe I should just ignore it” so I did, and although still feeling chatty inside I went to the gym and tried to develop a “ do it anyway” attitude.

[Mar_mar in reply to rywoo]

Yeah that's what I was experiencing during those depressive days. I just kept going back and forth with myself. Hm that sounds like a good idea. Maybe not ignoring it (idk if I can honestly) but putting my energy into something else like exercising and also reminding myself that it doesn't have to be that way, the back and forth chat. I like that, thank you for sharing!