Hi everyone, I'm new here - I came through the CHADD website after being referred to it by my psychologist. I read through some of the recent posts and I just feel all of this pent up emotion and frustration welling up and being relieved to see you all talking about the things I worry about every day.
I have just gotten my diagnosis, after suspecting I had ADHD for years, truly since being a child. From hyperfocus as a child learning in homeschool to being at work and struggling on projects, simple attention, memory, and more, I was completely overwhelmed. I already feel so much better knowing this community exists.
I do have a question for those who are struggling with work - how do you broach the subject with your boss or should I not? what are the possible impacts of having that discussion?
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SciFiGuy
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Hi SciFiGuy, As I keep seeing on posts around here... Welcome to your tribe!!
Im also new here, joined last Thursday, and completely relate to the relief of pent up frustrations you describe. Just reading the stories of so many of us, with ADHD, can really be insightful and encouraging.
Im not the authority on this topic, by any means, but I would suggest treading lightly with the work conversation. If you have an open relationship with your boss and have developed trust beyond the normal manger/subordinate relationship, it can be very beneficial... It has been for me, but I have that relationship comfort. (even then, it doesn't guarantee the future)
However, not knowing what others perceptions on the topic are, I would likely refrain. Its hard to know how someone will react to that news, fair or not, but I wouldn't want to take that risk given how long ADHD has been stigmatized and it could impact how you survive. They can always help you with things that are specific to your role, but the reality is they cant do anything about your ADHD... If the question is leading to asking for special considerations, that can be a slippery slope.
That's my two cents. I'm curious how others will respond! Good luck on your journey and keep your head up!
That's valid. I do plan on continuing to work with my psychologist on this.
Hi SciFiGuy,
Good question. There's still so much that isn't known about ADHD, even by the medical community that supports us. To those who aren't challenged by it in their daily lives, it can be a (contentious) mystery super-charged with misunderstanding and emotion. For that reason, I don't suggest telling your boss or HR people that you have ADHD, at least not right away. You can, on the other hand, request reasonable accommodation for Executive Function challenges if you are very specific about what you are requesting. For example, you could ask for more frequent follow-up or check-ins from your team on projects you are struggling with, to review blocks and come up with solutions regularly rather than waiting until the day before its due. You can request that a peer join you in a 'heads down working session' like a body-double session.
If you can get some clarity on what tools and assistance would help you do a better job for your company, that will improve the odds of getting what you need without raising any red flags that this could be an ongoing issue.
I think it depends on your job and relationship. I'm a car salesman and grew up with the family that owns my dealership. When I told them after I found out it was not a big deal. Most people I work with were like "no duh man". I've known them since I was a kid and have been here for over 2 years when I found out. It helped them understand my weird request that bother me where a neurotypical has no issue. Sales and ADHD go well for me minus inability to have set routine. It really is your choice and you have to do what you think is best. In addition I have things I asked them to do or not do and they didn't change those things. Then I found out about my ADHD and they worked harder to help me. I am very social extrovert and at the same time get worried about acceptance and approval. They say things jokingly like are you gonna sell something? Or guess your just done for the month? And they say it to everyone and usually when you are at the top or middle of the pack. For me though hearing that comes across as I'm worthless and really can't sell anything and makes me fall apart and try to hard and fail more than succeed. I asked them to change and it worked a little but since ADHD reveal it's not come up but once or twice in over a year as apposed to weekly or sometimes daily. For me it changed my world but could not work for you. Hope this helps meds just kicked in there 😂
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