One journey complete. The best chapter has just begun!

[cjnolet]

So it’s been a year now since I really embarked on my journey into self improvement. I started going to doctors, was diagnosed with adult adhd, and started on vyvanse in February of last year.

Since then, I have lost 100lbs and got myself lean and fit. I eat properly, and have found that I feel better day in and day out. I’ve read numerous books on self improvement and put just about all the recommendations to practice.

I have switched jobs to work at home, for a dream company who is at the center of modern artificial intelligence. My interpersonal relationships have strengthened as I’ve been increasing my self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

I am now public speaking every chance I get anywhere that will allow. I’m not a motivational speaker, yet, but I am a tech lead on my team at work and a technical speaker at conferences across the country- next week I will be in Silicon Valley. In a few months I will be in Alaska.

I recently decided to splurge and buy a souped-up purple race car. I don’t normally go for expensive things like this but I decided to do it becuase I knew how much joy it would bring me every time I got behind the wheel. I was right- i absolutely love it- 485hp purple beast with a nice loud radio for dopamine boosting.

I am only writing this post as closure for my own adhd story. I came on this forum last year around this time while I felt my life was in shambles- I had just been diagnosed as an adult with this “disorder” and I was starting to become more aware of how different my mind really worked when compared to most others around me.

Initially, it was making me think of bad things, like how much harder I had to work in school to retain even simple concepts, how slow I can be sometimes in real-time social interactions, and how my memory and focus can be really bad.

But the more I dived into my real self, the more I started to see that there is so much more that I have to be proud of in myself than to be shamed by- I’ve learned how to learn so well that I’ve flown through a 9 year PhD program in only a couple of years. I am now being regarded as a leader in my field, which is one of the largest and most dense fields in science today.

I have issues focusing because my brain works overtime all the time. While others can claim they are resting and relaxing and “just don’t want to think about hat right now”, my brain thinks and thinks and thinks.

I plan to change the world. I have an aspiration to revolutionize our pubic education system here in America and start utilizing our newfound artificial intelligence tools to start teaching kids that have adhd using more visual and exploratory methods. These kids aren’t stupid, they just learn differently, and like Einstein once said “if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will grow up believing that it is stupid”

I also plan to revolutionize how we listen and share music with each other. Part of my PhD is on this very topic, as group recommendation systems for music are not a very heavily researched topic when compared to individual recommendation systems.

I really hope all of you find what you are looking for. Please keep in mind that if you are looking for change, that means you need to do something differently. Seeking comfort in misery is the most dangerous thing anyone can do, both for our minds and for our bodies. I truly believe that every person has a purpose and brings something amazing to the world, even if that purpose, like me, is serving others and giving them a better life.

Please remember that life is short and everyone has some sort of imperfection. When we notice our “quirks”, we choose how we want to react to them- either we can accept ourselves or we can hate ourselves, neither one is going to afford you any more time on this earth.

PS: I believe so strongly in the software that my team is building at Nvidia, that I decided to get vanity plates w/ the name of our project, "RAPIDS". rapids.ai/

[dubstepMaul]

thanks for you words and insights. I do hope you stay in touch, Corey. Love the car!

[NonADHDSpouse]

What an awesome read!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!

Can we stay in touch?! The more I hear from ADHD folks the more I can understand my hubby. Is there a way to PM and I can share my email address? I know that there is always things on my part in my marriage that I can grow as person, too. Especially in an ADHD marriage.

[Maltesedoggies]

I hope you are not signing off....you are an incredible man! I hope you are writing a book because if you are, I want a signed copy!!

You have been an inspiration to me reading your responses. You validated what I already felt even though I was the only one listening to the doctors. His doctor wanted him to detox because the meds were masking what was really going on. He would have no part of it.

You told the truth not making excuses but rising above the personal struggles which speaks volumns about who you are.

My husband used the ADHD as a reason for his bad behavior. This was his crutch and it owned him. We dated longer than we were married. After 4 months of marriage, we had a house fire. We were out of our house for 10 months moving in under a temporary occupancy permit. He was under a lot of stress and I knew he was; we both were. During this time his business suffered (self employed) and he was not bringing in the money to keep the business solvent. He became financially dependent on my income and this was draining money I had set aside for those bumps in the road; however, him seeing money in his account he seemed to disregard me helping him - spending more not considering what I had deposited needed to last until he was paid. Financially, depending on him was a pipe dream... In May 2018 he started online chats with various women getting their phone numbers and email addresses. His daily pattern changed from late nights to working weekends accomplishing nothing and he was not getting work out on time. His phone would ping late at night and early in the morning. When I ask him who was calling/texting him, he told me it was rollo calls. Still not convenienced he was telling me the truth, I checked his phone. Not only was he on online dating sites but was having an "emotional affair" with a woman he was contracted to do work inside her home. After a couple of late night phone conversations, he was telling her he loved her and they were going to be together. I confronted him and told him he needed to leave. This was June 2018. He was gone almost 5 weeks and came back agreeing to keep his appointments, break off seeing the local woman, cancel his membership to the online dating sites and we would go to a marriage counselor who worked with ADHD couples. After 4 months of counseling, I felt we were getting back on track when the other shoe fell....His filter was off during one of our counseling sessions showing the counselor the kitchens & bathrooms he remodeled which one picture was her kitchen. The look on his face when I recognized her house was all I needed. He had forgotten we went together to her house to sign the contract back in April 2018 for work she wanted done in her dining room which was in another part of the house, not the kitchen. I ask him if she paid him...he would not say telling me he was trying to help her. He could not pay his vendor bills and there was very little income coming in during this time and it was ocay I was so trusting buying his lies due to working on our home he had turned away work. The next week I checked his phone and he was back online with now - three dating sites. One of the dating sites he "paused" not cancelled (another lie) his membership from his earlier online surfing.

We left the counseling session that night and I told him we were done. He did not come home that night because we were in different vehicles.

I changed counselors and this one works with PTSD and adult behavior issues. She told me being deceived, him not taking responsibility for his actions and surfing the internet to find someone to stroke his ego is not ADHD behavior. It's a choice not a symptom. I will continue to support others and learn more through this site because of people like you.

[Lovinit]

Thank you so much for being a part of this site. I really enjoyed reading your posts and responses. Your very smart and you explain things so well. I wish I can remember a the awesome positive quotes or sayings you’ve said and could replay them over all the time in my head. Because things you say make me feel stronger better about myself

Sweet ride.

My brother gave me a birthday card once that said “life is a journey, so enjoy the ride.”

[roseysposeys1]

Thanks so much for all your contributions on thus site. I have learned from you and am grateful. I wish you much continued success in all your endeavors. Beautiful car, btw.