I’m happy for myself

[Lovinit]

My whole life I’ve mostly been hard on myself putting myself down consistently and living with my mom who also constantly reminded me of my failures. Today I want to share with everyone that I’m doing me and accepting me for me. I’ve spent years trying to feel better and I finally am starting to see positive results. Today I’m not going to cry about where I wish I could be in my life. Today I’m going to enjoy me living now.

[cjnolet]

This is so wonderful to hear!!!! Be thankful for what you are. Accept yourself. The world will mold itself to you and positive things will come. I promise.

[Lovinit in reply to cjnolet]

Thank you, and thank you for writing that post about purpose. I don’t have the answer to what my purpose is but on my bath mirror with a dry erase maker I wrote, “ I have a purpose “

[house77]

Don't take any more negative feedback from your parent, or anyone. I had it also, when young. Drains all your self confidence. Be assertive, be proud of yourself. Wishing you all the very best. Xx

[Lovinit in reply to house77]

It’s hard because I want to move on from the pain and I’m getting therapy and seeing psychiatrist to help me work through my issues but it just still hurts me that I can’t have the supportive relationship I want to have with my parents. I want them to understand what i went through what I’m still going through and I want them to believe my struggles are real and I need there support not criticiziem

[cjnolet in reply to Lovinit]

I’m up in Massachusetts visiting my paternal grandparents. My dad and I never had the relationship I’d have preferred growing up. I always felt like he was always paying attention and correcting the way I did stuff rather than bonding with me based on the content (he seemed to only listen to how I said stuff rather than what I said).

I’ve spent most of my life, both teen and adult, resenting this side of my family because I felt like they were always so judge mental and never accepted me for me. In fact, I believe I’ve formed a complex around them where I would get so sensitive to everything they said because I always felt like they were critical of me.

So this time, things have been different. My grandparents have been wonderful and, though my grandfather does make little comments here and there, I’ve come to realize that when my perspective is different, I take in the things they say differently.

There have been a few times during this trip when I’ve started my stinking thinking of trying to assume I know what they are thinking but I’ve quickly learned to shut that off because in reality, we never know what someone else is thinking. This time, I’m so strong and confident that when they say something That could possibly be taken as an ignorant comment, I just brush it off and show them how strong and independent I am. Surprisingly, thus far it has made my whole outlook totally flip for the better.

My dad passed away a few years ago before I got a chance to patch up my relationship with him, but I can assure you that my change in diet, exercise, and the things I tell myself day to day have a large effect on how the world treats me.

I spent my younger years always feels bad about myself because i always wanted to please everyone. If you get a chance to reach brene browns book “braving the wilderness” you will likely have a similar revelation. We don’t become truly accepted until we accept ourselves. It’s funny how we assume that pleasing others is what makes us accepted by them but the opposite is actually true- when we are strong confident individuals with our own ideals and perspectives, we become accepted. Unfortunately, the differences in how we think as a result of ADHD often causes us to (appear to) lack the social qualities that many other neurotypical individuals have but I think once we decide to love ourselves, even that perspective changes completely. I’ve had the best visit with my grandparents that I’ve ever had and it’s because I’ve stood up for myself and my wife and the choices I’ve made from a place of confidence.

Brene brown quotes maya Angelou several times in here book:

“You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all.”

Don’t live your life for or through he approval of others. Love yourself and others will love you too. This quote from Maya, I believe is a manifesto to a healthy perspective for anyone (blessed) with ADHD.