Spacing out in relationships

[StarDreamer]

I am struggling with dealing with my fiancé, or more accurately he’s struggling to deal with me. I just got diagnosed this year, and I'm doing a lot better on medication, but he’s still feeling like he can’t rely on me. I’m trying hard, but I still forget things and generally space out. It leaves him feeling stressed and abandoned. And I feel terrible when I drop the ball, and simultaneously angry at being blamed for something I’m not doing consciously.

Has anyone run into similar issues? What helped you and your partner find a sustainable balance?

Thanks

[Eclecticentric77]

Hi there, I'm not sure what subtype of ADHD you have, but the spacing out sounds very reminiscent to the Inattentive subtype of ADHD, which I also have. What has helped me is letting my significant other know and understand that my faults and handicaps are not things I do on purpose or at will, but rather consequences of having the condition I have. I have a series of videos detailing the struggles people with Inattentive ADHD face from elementary school to adulthood, perhaps you'd like to see the video and perhaps share with your fiance. If you click on my pic, it will take you to my profile in which you will find the link in my bio. Also what has greatly helped me with being more attentive, productive, forgetting less and not spacing out as much, is the inclusion of supplements that I take along with my ADHD medication. Stimulant medication primarily works by helping the brain with the neurotransmitters Dopamine and Norepinephrine, but unfortunately people with ADHD lack levels of other neurotransmitters as well, and that can use a huge amount of problems, including the ones you mentioned.

I highly recommend the following supplements.

1. R-Alpha Lipoic Acid: This supplement is one of the strongest antioxidant supplements out there and also helps the brain utilize the neurotransmitter Acetylcholine, which people with ADHD lack. This made my 10mg stimulant medication feel fresh and smoother once I started taking this supplement. Stimulant medication creates lots of oxidation which is bad for someone's body, and this supplement helps greatly in removing and lowering oxidation levels. This supplement also helps out IMMENSELY with reasoning and managing time better.

2. Most stimulant medications work with the neurotransmitters Dopamine and Norepinephrine. In order to fight off depletion I would highly recommend the supplement N-Acetyl Tyrosine. That supplement specifically works with helping the brain with Dopamine and Norepinephrine. I take it when I get up, 30min to an hour before my medication wears off (in order to eliminate the crash of the medication) and a few other times during the day. Supplement greatly helps with motivation and cocentration

3. Dopamine has a relationship with the neurotransmitter Serotonin (together they are known as the brain's reward system), so while stimulant medication does not primarily work with Serotonin, after boosting up Dopamine frequently, Serotonin will start to go down. For this I recommend the supplement L-Tryptophan (Tryptophan is a direct precursor to Serotonin, unlike 5HTP which is earlier in the chain). This supplement greatly helps with one's mood and feeling of ease, lowering anxiety, it is also really helpful to take before going to sleep, in addition to taking it during the day.

4. A good Multivitamin with antioxidants is also highly recommended.

5. If there is trouble getting to sleep at night, I would recommend Melatonin 300mcg 6hr release. Take this about 45min before going to bed. And then take L-Tryptophan (which I mentioned in #3) 30min before bed, and you will have some profound deep sleep and wake up feeling refreshed more often.

6. CoQ10: as a safety precaution in order to keep your heart safe, and keep your heart rate and blood pressure from rising, which is common with ADHD stimulant medication.

7. PS-100: strong neuromodulator that greatly helps with recall, helps with speaking more fluidly and coherently, and also helps out with planning.

If any of this sounds helpful, you can click on my profile pic, which will then take you to my profile in which I have a link to a google doc I made that includes all of the supplements I mentioned, along with some detailed information on why I take them, why they help people with ADHD, and the cost and locations that sell them (mostly Amazon.com, and some grocery stores). I also made a video series that I uploaded to Youtube of all the struggles that people with Inattentive ADHD go through from elementary school all the way to adulthood, the link is also in my profile. Hope this helps