Having a rough day. Woke up with the feeling of intense fear and cried off and on because I left so scared. It took me a few hours to calm myself down along with taking a couple of Clombazam (emergency medication my doctor prescribed). Over the past couple of months I have noticed my already poor motivation become even more lacking to the point where I have not done any housework, dishes or laundry in two months. Only recently (about a week ago) did I manage to unpack my suitcase from a trip I took in July. I have stopped wearing makeup to work and shower the least amount possible (about every 4 days). I know I need to change my life to be more socialable and get involved in activities of interest rather than sit at home all the time watching TV but the problem is I have no energy by the time I am done work I am exhausted and on weekends I feel tired too. The thought of getting dressed, and presentable to see a friend or go to a coffee shop on the weekend is just too much work. I know I should do this as it would be good for me to socialize and get out of the house. One of my close friends who I have confided in about what has been going on over the past few months thinks I need to talk to my doctor as she thinks I am at a breaking point. I don't want to talk to my doctor because all the doctor does is put me on more medication and I feel like I am already taking enough medication and at a high dosage. Anyhow, that is where I am at today.