our son seemed to have a traditional path early on. Talking Walking Spelling writing etc all seemed within expectations. He did have separation issues at pre k 3 / 4 but did not need to get picked up early. He did ask for reassurance often possibly small anxiety ( now in hindsight). No social issues, great at sports, coachable and great teammate. In 6th/7th grade teachers would say he stares into space and often falls off tasks. We saw some of that at home. Vanderbilt tests inconclusive. This was shortly after covid. Migraines started and he would get sick. Would need dark sleep and rest. His test for absence seizures was negative. He remained active w sports and gym. Bloodwork and drug tests all normal throughout. Got him a 504 plan bec the official diagnoses was made about 1.5 years ago. An IEP followed and an enhance support classes in school. He does not find any purpose or value of classes like Jewelry Studio, Biology, history, etc (he did have a few months of remote schoolling but Psychologist typically do not recommend nor will write a script. School and state counselers ( in and out of school) did the best they could but some made it worse by forcing us to take him for an evaluation at the hospital The hospital looks at us wondering why we are even there (several hundred $$ later). He has tried 3-4 different medications like trazadone etc some made him to jumpy some too tired we did start to see positive mood changes. He wants to work and has two jobs at 15 even w his ADHD and poor time mgmt and executive function. He rarely has bad mood swings. There is no F u’s or fingers to us. We drive him to gym ever night. Not a perfect family but we won’t give up on him. Med wise, Now he won’t take anything though continues to workout and does take some supplements for adhd and focus but does want to speak much about it. He won’t really engage w counsellers we have tried men, women, more passive to the tougher or more direct.
He did have one mild concussion about 3 .5 years ago and months later was hit by a slowly moving car ( no issues other than bad scrapes and burns, as far as the hospital could tell at that time). We as a family have had some trama from a bad car accident where the suv flipped over to grandfathers death and a sudden death of a 48 year old uncle. Also about 4 years ago. He has ups and downs with a girlfriend who also has her own challenges. (Our older son had bad anxiety for about 2 months at a similar age though with outpatient support was fine and is now away in college without medication.) Our younger guy tried outpatient 1 day and did not like the plan nor the group.
I know that was a ton of info but we just don’t know what to do and as you all know, it has taken its toll on everyone. Although he started sept and most of October getting up and to school w a friend, now barely goes. We can’t get him into a Magnet trade HS here due to grades. He can’t get another good job until 16 the earliest. We don’t know switching schools would help nor if private schools teachers and staffed are tribes for all this. Even w IEP teachers tell us he has. Ad time mgmt, no focus etc. we know this and expect it, it’s at the core of ADHD. Sadly we know see why this disorder combo is dangerous and why some never finish HS. We now see what may be posturing and some tic type movements. ( may also be reasons why school is not great - BTW no bullying or issues like that. Although he does not follow instructions we’ll , no teacher said there is any disrepect
Any suggestions? We can’t physically push him to school, we don’t want to go back to truancy court ( and judge sees we are doing everything we can) , we see how traditional learning may not work, he does not acknowledge ADHD/ocd so meds, counseling etc are somewhat lacking to cope and manage.
IEP or 504 Plan Feedback: any stigma for your child?
Any advice
IEP ? 504?
1st grade retention?
ADHD Accommodations for High School Students
