adhd and hygiene

[Rollersk8er]

my teen daughter has adhd and often won't shower for days if she isn't going anywhere. I understand that this can be a common roadblock for some. Has anyone experienced this and what has helped?

[lbayley]

Always a struggle! I buy my daughter special body wash, lotion, bath bombs, etc and then will say something like, "While I make dinner, go get a shower and get into your coziest PJ's and we'll watch a movie." and that sometimes helps. I don't think she would ever think of it on her own.

[LatteLover84]

My 9yo daughter sometimes gives us problems with brushing her teeth and putting on deodorant. She enjoys taking baths and showers, but anything beyond that is sometimes a struggle, even getting her to put on lotion and have her hair done. I have added these things to her reward chart and it seems to be slowly improving over the last month or so.

[SUP69]

We also have this problem with our 18yr old son. I think he thinks 'what's the point'. He has a loose schedule of chores to do in a day and we've added it to the list of jobs. Helps a little... Sorry can't suggest a solution. We'll just keep chipping away at it... Good luck.

[Willowbee37]

ADH’ers have the “Out of sight out of mind” way of thinking a lot. Maybe make her a calendar of on/off days for showering. Make it discreet so you don’t embarrass her but at least she will have something to follow.

[2ADHDkids]

Yes, it’s common, but I’d like to offer a different way of looking at it. Is it really a problem? If it doesn’t bother her and she’s not so stinky that it’s bothering others, why worry about it when she’s at home? We also know that our skin has good bacteria and microorganisms that we wash away when we bathe. Some would argue it’s actually healthier not to bathe every day and, in some places in the world, it’s normal not to do so every day or even every other day.

[Mamamichl in reply to 2ADHDkids]

My 9yo bathes/showers about 2 times a week. Just getting her to change underwear every other day is a struggle.

[randomscreenname in reply to Mamamichl]

2 days a week is perfect.

[Mamamichl in reply to randomscreenname]

When she hits puberty full on, I want 3 times a week. 4 days will be just too much.

[randomscreenname in reply to Mamamichl]

I don't know. More than twice a week seems unnecessary, barring lots of exercise, dirty outdoor activities, etc. guess you can see how things develop.

[Mamamichl in reply to randomscreenname]

Totally. I just know I hated my smell so much I showered 2 times a day and washed hair every other day. I also know my stepkid smells bad after 3 days.

[penn_adhd]

I'm an adult with ADHD and I've never had that issue. I was diagnosed in 2nd grade. My kid has it, too. He does that on the weekends sometimes, but it isn't ADHD so much as he'd rather be watching TV, on video games, etc. and all he's doing at home is sitting around so he doesn't see the need to shower. He's not hit puberty yet either though, so...

[Mamamichl in reply to penn_adhd]

You need to get them in the habit before puberty or it becomes an even bigger fight. My 15yo used to fight hard because they had different expectations at bio moms house. My 9yo was doing deodorant as a toddler when we pushed the older one to. She wanted to be like her sibling. Now, just getting her to bathe more than 2 times a week is a struggle.

[Mamamichl]

I tell kiddo they are starting to stink and need to shower. Tell them I can get ice cream after if that helps. Gotta have a reinforcement. With my other kid I limit electronics and give more time only when they do a given task.

[anirush]

Time will take care of that. My grandson who once wouldn't shower or wash his hair now at age eighteen takes thirty minute showers. Don't know which is worse but at least he doesn't smell.

[randomscreenname]

generally we ADHDers need to want to shower or bathe, so unless there is strong motivation (like they can smell themselves or if friends make fun of them, or they start wanting to date), it will continue to be a struggle. I'm 52 and still shower only 3-4 times a month. It's just not interesting and I don't have a lot of time, and I have no other compelling reason. Fortunately it doesn't seem to bother anyone, and my skin is a lot happier not getting dried out all the time.

[LONGNAILS219]

I am experiencing this with my son. Its a struggle! Along with brushing his teeth.

[Dnvanegas]

It is still a struggle for us too. When my son was younger, I had to make sure he’d take a shower every day. He never complained, but he wouldn’t do it properly and would be really smelly, so I had to remind him from time to time how to do it properly and make sure he’d follow my advice. I did it until he was about 11. After that, between 12 and 17, there was no issue at all, but then after he turned 18, when he wouldn’t listen to me any more because he was not a minor, he wouldn’t shower for three or four days, brush his teeth or cut his nails. He is now 22 and still does it. We argue a lot because of this and he has lost girlfriends and friends because they can’t stand the way he smells. It’s hard to make him understand how important it is to keep good hygiene habits, but I don’t give up and keep reminding him. His psychologist says it is a sign of low self -esteem and she’s working on this with him. She also recommended he gets some occupational therapy for adults with ADD/ADHD.

[MomLoop]

My 15-year old son avoids showers too. He'll even llightly wet his hair, to make it look like he has showered. I need to smell his hair to know that he washed it. I also need to be just outside the bathroom door to make sure he has finished his shower. It's infuriating at times

[m2cn]

Yes, same issue with my 13 y/o son. He just doesn't think about it, and he'd rather be doing something else. He also has major issues with brushing his teeth.

[CraftyVIP]

My 13 year old used to fuss about taking a shower, but an every-other-day system seems to work for him. At night he just thinks "Did I take a shower yesterday?" If the answer is no he sets his alarm earlier and takes a shower. He's been doing that for about a year, and it seems to work. On the weekend he might wait and take it at night, but I'm happy with that!