anxiety or adhd to treat first…

[CmMama]

today was hard. I’m realizing my beautiful 7yo continues to have a hard time making friends at school…just a week in and we’re back where we left off. She’s currently not on any meds, as we are weighing out whether to treat her anxiety or adhd. Looking for tips on treatment and also how to help my kid make friends. I’m tired.

[BLC89]

Hello CmMama,

I'm sorry the school year isn't off to a good start. I would suggest treating the ADHD first. The medications are quick to work - you know within a couple of days if it is a good fit - and they are 80% effective (80% of ADHDers who try meds find one or a combo that works). So if one doesn't work don't give up there is probably one that will.

Girls present ADHD symptoms very differently than boys. Many, many, girls and women are treated for anxiety and depression before they stumble upon an ADHD diagnosis. If ADHD is present it can create anxiety and depressive episodes.

So I suggest starting with the ADHD and figuring that part out because alleviating that can reduce anxiety tremendously.

I also believe in the medications available because many have been around for a long time and have the highest efficacy rates of any medication group. That said, if you are not a fan of meds then get some high cardio in the mix most days of the week. It is great for reducing outward ADHD symptoms and is a life long gift of good health - win, win!

Full disclosure, I am an ADHD Parent coach not a physician. I do have several CE hours that covered medications and the success rate as well as alternatives like high cardio.

I hope that helps,

BLC

full disclosure I am an ADHD Parent Coach and have been married to ADHD for nearly 30 years. I have two grown children who also have ADHD.

[insideoutbutterfly]

Good Morning, ugh yes this situation is hard. Our daughter who is nineteen also has ADHD and social anxiety and making friends is a challenge. Our daughter has found success with a combination of medication (lexpro/vyvance) along with intense exercise routines ( in elementary school we would run a quarter mile to school, after school swim team and yoga) along with protein rich diet. I will share that finding the right medication for her was a challenge she is very sensitive to medications and it took months to find the right medications and the right dose. Thank goodness her psychiatrist patient and persistent(Dr Yue at UCSF specialist in ADHD and anxiety) Every body is different in how they manage their challenges so keep exploring and being curious about what works and what is triggering.

I will add that at a young age our daughter found great support with weighted blankets, stress balls for desk top work along with chewing gum. We used many coping systems , learned from an OT at Kidspace in San Francisco. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

[Grandk23sc]

I know my daughter can empathize with your pain. She is tired as well but change can happen. She has a five year old ( with ADHD,SPD & Anxiety) who has struggled with friend making, but with the help of OT, she has learned some social skills that have improved her ability to engage kids her own age. She also attends a play group where OT engages the ADHD kids in socialization in a group setting. Education and research can present may different options other than medication.

[Knitting20projects]

I tend to agree with trying ADHD treatment first and if possible with a child psychiatrist because they have more experience with medication management and titrating medications as needed to minimize anxiety as dose increases if needed. Untreated ADHD can definitely cause anxiety. But many people with ADHD can also have persistent anxiety even on treatment because anxiety disorders are common with ADHD.

[OGrph]

Finding the right combination of meds will help your child make friends. My son is on medication for anxiety and adhd and they are both essential for his well-being. It may not be an overnight fix, but stick with it- working thru the right meds and dosages for your child. The outcome will be so worth it.

[katcald]

ADHD first. In some cases untreated ADHD is a contributing factor to the anxiety.

[Lanego]

in our situation treating the anxiety first was a better solution. The stimulants made his anxiety worse so his behavior worsened, he was more irritable. We stopped stimulants, and started Zoloft for anxiety and a month later started a non-stimulant for ADHD. It may be that our son had more anxiety than ADHD.

[kdali]

Both? Our psychiatrist chose a non stimulant to treat anxiety first, and it has worked out well so far.

[eva2022]

I just posted this to another parent on this forum. Just wanted to send my support.

I’m so sorry. We struggle with making and keeping friends as well. Our son has ASD and ADHD and he just doesn’t ‘get’ kids all the time.

One thing that helped us was a book called ‘The Social Detective’. I was able to request it through our local library exchange. It uses the phrases ‘expected’ vs ‘unexpected’ behaviors to teach kids social skills.

The other program that we use was developed by a speech language pathologist. It is called ‘Superflex’ and uses different villains like ‘Wasfunnyonce’ and ‘Rock Brain’ that can be defeated social understanding and flexibility.

We are in your corner. You are not the only one by far to have a child struggle like this ❤️

[marinecyan]

As recommended by our neuropsychologist, we focused on treating my son’s ADHD first. While he still has bouts of anxiety, it has lessened considerably as he’s been able to make friends now that his ADHD symptoms are under control.

We’ve taken a non-medication approach, and instead supplement him with the vitamins and minerals he needs, as well as Omega-3’s and probiotics. If you’re interested in a non-medication approach, I’m happy to share more info. The book Finally Focused by James Greenblatt is also a great resource.

[Peerandparent]

I'm likely echoing what others have said: treat the ADHD for sure. As someone who lives with ADHD and an anxiety disorder myself, I can attest to the fact that ADHD related social and performance issues can be at the root of the anxiety, and untreated ADHD makes regulating emotions more difficult.

This means that not only can it be the cause, but it can interfere with many of the solutions. Hard to focus on your breathing when you can't control your focus. Hard to remember to practice your skills when the emotions are overwhelming.

Treat the ADHD and that will mean your daughter is more able to engage in some of the techniques to manage her anxiety. And it might just help address the cause, too.

[Peerandparent]

Fortuitously, the channel how to ADHD is having a live session with an anxiety expert on Monday evening...