good morning! Our 14 yo daughter is like most teens and loves her phone to communicate with friends and watch tiktok. It was advised to me to put a time limit on her phone in the evening and keep it in my room when she goes to bed (too tempting to text friends late at night.)
My question is how do I do this without making it feel like punishment?! She is a very sensitive child with inattentive ADHD. When I try to gently take away the phone at night she cries. ANY advice would be much appreciated. THANK YOU!
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artistmomMe
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I had a routine for quite some time where I did take the phone at night. It never become a smooth transition. Eventually, I allowed her to keep her phone with the understanding that she practices self-control, however I'm sure this doesn't happen regularly enough. I hesitate to start taking it again as it truly does seem to cause a divide in our relationship. I know that sounds ridiculous from a parent's perspective but it's just how my daughter operates. She is very inward and I have found that grace produces better outcomes over discipline in most cases.
So I check in and remind her to plug her phone in and get her rest so she feels well the next day and I hope for the best. I also hope the she will begin to make the connection between proper rest and how she functions during the day.
I have a 14 year old boy, he loves his phone but since he was diagnosed (8years old) we have been very open with him as to what his brain needs to function well. Sleep is one major part, so we always ask him to keep the phone charging downstairs or in our room at night. So when we talk about it, it is never singled out as the phone being a major issue.
1-Medicine (everyday, like if you need glasses you need to wear them everyday)
2-Excercise/Outdoor activity ( everyday)
3-Routine (to the best of our abilities)
4-Sleep (this is where the phone comes in)
We do not use any of this as a punishment, we sell it as a better life where he can be the best version of himself. This does not mean that life is oerfect and we don’t have issues daily. We struggle with the hours of video games on his computer with friends (we try to also limit it, but the negotiations are endless).
I know in general girls are more sociable so it might not work, but wanted to let you know what has worked for us.
We have a hard limit on our router that cuts devices an hour before bed. Our stance is that everyone has their wifi turned off an hour before bed, this includes tv. Additional to that we have screen time set in ios to limit the amount of time on apps. The phone is also locked down of cellular service along the same lines and we have app limits in place.
We dont take the devices away but they are essentially useless after a certain point in the evening. It does cause anger with our one child and her ipad, the other seems to handle it ok as she is an avid reader.
I know this is easier said than done but it wasn't just ok overnight and we still get regular outbursts. Hang in there, kids do need boundaries.
Maybe the hardest part of parenting teens! We tell my daughter (16) that she has freedom to use phone whenever she wants and go to bed whenever she wants but the phone gets plugged in downstairs or our bedroom at 10:15pm. Phone is a privilege and we pay for it so we have this one reasonable limit for her health and well-being. She doesn’t like it but it’s a compromise.
You're dreading the implementation of a new rule. Every parent does. 😱 😆 Yes, there will be whining, complaining, crying and maybe even screaming for a day or so.
I recommend explaining the importance of sleep in your household so there is going to be a new way of doing things and even put the rule on yourself. Studies have proven that parental participation yields the best buy-in from teens when implementing rules. You have to be consistent or it won’t work.
All three of my kids had to turn in their phones all through high school! I started it when they were in middle school right when they got phones so the complaining was minimal for me. We had a counter in our bedroom that became known as the “charging station” and I have some very funny photos of piles of “contraband” with tangled cords strewn everywhere. 3ds, iPads, laptops, phones, etc. It looked like a successful day in the life of a mob boss. 🤣
I would come up with a reward for compliance of turning it in by a certain time every night as well as a consequence for not turning it in on time. Think of something she really likes or wants and then she can earn whatever that is.
Good luck. This was one of my best rules EVER. Yes, they even had to turn it in by a certain time on the weekends too. No one complained. They just knew.
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Just lost it
Any advice
My 7 year old daughter has ADHD and severe anxiety 
