My teen will no longer take meds

[MVinSeattle]

My son is 16 and just started at a new high school for his Junior year. He has adhd combined type and has refused to take medication since last year. It was helping some at his last school but none of us liked the side effects (decreased appetite, headaches, difficulty falling asleep at night, and irritability when wearing off to name the main ones).

His MD told him that he’d likely decide to stop taking the medicine one day and that is his main reason he’s stopped his meds. Also, our son has decided that school is useless and is failing or nearly failing half his classes. I think he needs something on board medicine wise. He also needs an adhd coach to better understand his unique wiring and to get some executive functioning help. AND I really want him to finish high school. Honestly, parenting is exhausting. Where do I start?

[Sabrousal]

Thank you for sharing. I also have 16, he continues to take his meds. He has gained over 150 lbs, in the last year and half. School is going pretty good. But he acted like 12 year in public. I am beyond dealing with it at this point. I am not help him but hurting him and his self esteem but I am over the embarrassment and stupid behaviors. I wish we all could do a re-set. I appreciate you reaching and other parents they are not alone. See if he has anything that he enjoys at school to motivate him to get back into, even shop...if they have it. My kid is motivated to get out of our house, so hence why he continues to work at school. He us currently 3 weeks behind but he is still working at his own pace. Good luck and counseling. Counseling helps.

[sceller]

I have 2 pieces of advice: first of all, your son HAS to finish high school - he needs that diploma to get the most basic job. And, unfortunately, he must take medication, at least until he finishes school. At 16, his brain just isn't mature enough to realize this and it won't get better for quite some time. I would disregard the side effects - the pros of the meds far outweigh the cons. Try Vyvanse - that worked well for our son.

Addendum: my son took meds from age 8-18, but stopped soon after. College was simply not possible without his meds, so he quit (several times!). Now he has a job which requires him to finish those last 4 classes (on his dime now!) and guess what? He went to his PCP for ADHD meds because he just cannot do school without medication. Good luck!

[Hidden]

Thank you for sharing. I always read posts about teen age boys to brace myself for what’s coming.

All I can say I remember what it was like to be 16 myself- the most turbulent times started then for me. I wish someone has guided me then and advised right meds.

Would your son consider non stimulants such as Qelbree which is a very new medication. Or Guanfacine. Or even combined- very small mg stimulant and then non stimulant to smooth the come down.

Have your doctor explained to your son about the various medications and how they work? I think at this age it’s sensitive because young people don’t want to have ‘sexual side effects’ and probably reading the medication leaflets is scary.

Also probably when he’d get all that from Jim then he will be not so willing to talk about it. But his doctor owes him this- if he took him on this journey before now he should be responsible for trying to adjust meds to your son’s changing needs.

All I’d say- be very sensitive about it. Maybe he could read articles in Additude magazine online about combined stimulant non stimulant treatment and in general about the non stimulants including the newest ones.

Maybe antidepressant would fix it for him otherwise? There is a lot of research that certain antidepressants do help with ADHD too.

[willandgrace in reply to Hidden]

I'm trying Qelbree (non-stimulant) for my 18 yr old son (senior in HS) because he hates the stimulants. In fact, he stopped taking meds this school year and I've seen a lack of focus and motivation. That's why we're trying Qelbree. I'm also told that Q helps with anxiety so I'm hopeful that my son benefits from that too. he only started today and so far no negative side effects. I'm hoping he gets better focus without the stimulant side effects. Maybe Qelbree could help your son.

[Hidden in reply to willandgrace]

Hey, I read all these feeds because I want to know for the future, when my son will be a teenager, developing into young adult and having maybe a problem with ‘sexual function’ side effect on Atomoxetine. I have read that many psychiatric medications affect ‘sexual function’ but obviously it doesn’t worry me now because my son is only little but it’s only fair to think about it for the future. My son is 9 and we are happy on Aomoxetine for now. I don’t think Qelbree is yet available in Europe. I don’t think UK will licence Qelbree any time soon as it’s a new medication and still very expensive and because we have National Health all children up to 18 receive medication for free, also students get meds for free and people on benefits and elderly ... So really, it’s about system being cost effective, they say it’s because Qelbree is a new medication and they want to have more longitudinal studies about it but obviously under a different name this medication was available in Europe (for depression) like from 1970ies for good 30 years so it had a good safety profile.

Anyway, I hope your son will have a good response to Qelbree. It’s great that in US you have all the newest medication available. Take advantage of it👍

[ADHD_DAD]

For us, health care is not optional. I am sure that diabetic children REALLY hate the blood draws and I know children with cancer must hate the treatments and side effects. As a parent of a teen, I do not allow my son to make his own decisions about health care. I suspect a child without ADHD lacks the maturity to make such decisions and I know my son with ADHD does. No meds, no phone. No meds, no Playstation. No meds, no switch, etc. Meds alone are not the solution for us (our management approach is the 3 legged stool: meds, lifestyle modification, accommodations at school), but the whole house of cards would come tumbling down without the meds. He needs them to function at his best and he needs to function at his best to navigate high school with ADHD. This is what works for us. There is, of course, no one size fits all management of ADHD. Best of luck to you.

[Redpanda5]

I’m shocked that a doctor would say:

His MD told him that he’d likely decide to stop taking the medicine one day.

Wow. Honestly I would probably find a different doctor. Is this a psychiatrist? It doesn’t sound like he is working through the process with you at all. If there are undesired side effects then a different medication should be tried. It can take over a year to find the right medication.

I’m sorry that you’re in this place. I would try to draw a line in the sand and start over and tell your son that you’re going to find a doctor who will listen to his concerns about the medications he is placed on. If after a few days my son didn’t like how a medication made him feel, his psychiatrist wanted to hear from us so he could try something else. Constant communication is key.

Hoping that things turn around for you both. It’s a difficult journey. Best to you!

[HoldingonLou]

My son didn't want to take the meds either but the doctor asked him to describe his experience learning and completing tasks prior to taking his meds. Told him to write it down. After 6 weeks of meds, he asked him the same questions and my son clearly admitted the experience was easier and he retained better on the meds than without. So the Dr. told him to consider a compromise. Take your meds prior and during every school day. If not going to school, then skip it. If you find completing homework on non school days challenging and you can't complete it on school days then take your meds as you are going to school. My son agreed and actually took his meds until his senior year. It was a truely challenging year but my son expressed boredom with the high school education. I told him if he quit school then he better have another place to live and have a job because the only way I was supporting him was if he continued with high school. He did it and graduated. Now he has a full time job. He still has challenges but he has to stay focused and accountable. He seeks friends and coworkers that also are willing to keep him on point. It's been a good thing. Technically in the United States they are allowed to choose once they turn 14 but we didn't fill him in on that.

[EJ_C]

Hey!

I'm in my 20s and now in a successful career path which suites me with ADHD.

I found school hard. Like him I stopped my meds for a while. (growing up, some days you just want to be normal)

Ok, so I found school hard in fact I didn't do great. Keep with me....

I left school and got a job (WHATTTT NO COLLEGE??)

The job heloed develop me, the on hands experience improved my English and maths... I developed a passion for teaching, so I started training lifeguards....

Then a couple of years later I went to college;

Got very good marks and trained to be a teacher.

Okay, I left teaching and now work in major events which is perfect for my ADHD brain.

I'm on medication but it was part of my journey!

I've said before, ADHD take the country roads we don't like taking the highway (unless we hyperfocus)

.....

Support your son on his journey of discovery. Give him a hug, there are so many bumps on an ADHD journey.

He will achieve great things. He has the ADHD super power.