Social anxiety and ADHD

[Lauraz180]

My DS has inattentive adhd. He has been on stimulant meds for 3 years. He is 12. We have had great success with the meds from a school academic perspective. He is doing really well in pretty much all subjects, top sets etc. However what i am worried about is him socially. He is a lovely quiet smart sensitive kid and when he makes a friend it seems to be a strong bond. However with people moving school at the moment he is literally on his own. I watch him in large groups and whilst all the children talk and laugh together he is just left to the side on his own - feeling sad about not being included. He does not play football or other sports so that doesnt help. Any advice much appreciated. Hurts so much to see him suffer. I dont think anyone dislikes him at all - i geniunely think he just doesnt get noticed.

[Vavai]

Hello Laura, I can feel your pain, as my son is going through the same and he is 8. He has also been diagnosed with ADHD but we are trying to delay medication and even though he’s doing well academically, socially he is suffering. He’s a sweet, kind boy but having a lot of trouble making friends. I wish I could help you with advise, but seeking some myself. Just wanted you to know you are not alone, and hang on in there. My prayers go out to you and to all the families hurting in seeing their loved ones suffer.

[Floyd8]

Same here. Our son is 11 and has struggled, especially through covid. He began experiencing signs of depression and major withdrawal last year and we started him in play therapy, which has helped tremendously. We also switched from a stimulant to straterra, which we feel has helped some in combination with the play therapy. He has never been invited on a sleepover and it has been many years since he was invited for a playdate. I totally empathize with how you're feeling. Just keep pursuing your options as far as treatments go, there are things out there that will help. Hugs to you.

[regardingtheboys]

I have an inattentive son, age 11, in the same situation. I have to do much more social legwork for him than other kids his age. He will never think to ask a friend-to-be if they are in town over winter break or if they want to do something. I have to coach him every morning to ask questions that might further a friendship. He is very "young" in this way and just wants the social opportunities to appear. In his defense, the "sporty kids" do have a huge advantage. One of my other sons spends 10 hours a week with his basketball team and the ease of these friendships due to repetition and common interest and all the nice things is actually painful for me to see. Of course we are trying other activities (swimming, band, Scouts) with my inattentive kiddo, but it is different than the social network that comes with team sports at school.

[Lauraz180]

Thanks so much all. It sounds like I am not alone.