Sibling aggression?

[greenteamilk]

Hi everyone. I want to thank everyone who has given such great advice.

This has been a problem for years now, but my son (6) has a lot of physical aggression towards his younger brother (3). They both get lots of love, affection, stimulation, etc. It is simply exhausting to protect the little guy from him when big brother gets angry and we often find ourselves getting hurt as well. He also takes it out on our property, things he knows are valuable, game system, tv, etc…

I feel awful to say it, but there are many times when I cower in fear from my own son, mostly when I am holding and protecting my younger son.

It’s draining to deal with, especially when I am trying to take steps to better my own mental health and I feel as if I am knocked back.

I know he is suffering too, so it’s not all “poor me”, but I am just looking for someone to commiserate with. Anyone?

[ADHdMoMmY1]

I totally understand what you were going through my four-year-old son is the same way and we are trying to figure out a plan and a medication treatment that works right now he's on guafacin 11/2 tablets in am an half at night it's helping somewhat but not life we would like to see, it's scary an sad to know they can get so mad I would talk to a specialist an let them know so they can get someone to car manage you on a one on over basis it had helped us an just having someone give you advice an make a individual plan just for you and your family based on your kid makes all the difference I am so sorry you're going through this it is so heartbreaking but don't give up have faith and know things can change you just got to find what works for you

[Nikkij6281]

My daughter was aggressive like this with her younger sister. Shes normally very loving and they would play together great until some little thing would set my oldest off. It’s what actually prompted me to get her evaluated and started in medication. There was an incident where my younger daughter was so afraid she locked herself in her room (she was 3 or 4) and my older daughter went crazy kicking and screaming. When I put my hand in her arm to stop her she wheeled around and scratched my arm deep enough to leave a scar.

With medication and as she’s gotten older, she’s able to control herself more. She still hits or pushes sometimes when she’s angry, but not to the point anyone’s afraid of her.

[MeadowLane5]

We too have a situation where one of our daughters is aggressive toward our other. Its really hard and exhausting. Our youngest (adhd/ odd) gets easily frustrated with her sister. I’m constantly in a position of teaching one to stick up for her self and learn to navigate this type of behavior while teaching the other to calm down and not get so hyped up about everything. Mine are tweens / teens now. I would love to say it’s easier now but it’s really just different. I definitely know what your going through.

[anirush]

I have a grandson who has aggression, has broken tv's etc and actually it is his older brother who is tired of putting up with him and being embarrassed by him in public. With medication and lots of therapy he only has incidents every couple of months or when he does not take his meds. Knock on wood, nothing has been broken for a long time. He is 15 now. He still gets angry over silly stuff and it is always someone else's fault, they made hi angry or did something on purpose to get him angry.

He lives with me but has a little sister who is 2. Baby talk drives him crazy for some reason and he thinks we talk to her that way to get him upset. Just crazy reasoning.

[Darahwalker]

Hi there, I completely understand and this is one of my main concerns right now. My daughter seems to be my son’s main target for his aggression. She spends a lot of time locked in her room playing alone to avoid him. It is draining and so upsetting. I feel like it is causing her a lot of mental health issues. She should feel safe and comfortable in her own home but she does not. We are super vigilant but our son is so impulsive it’s difficult to know when he’s going to hurt her. We are considering medication. Good luck to you 🙏

[Ditmasmama]

Hi! This has been the primary issue that we’ve been struggling with for years. My son, now 7, has a history of aggression towards his sister, now 5. My son started medication last year- first stimulants, which decreased the aggression but had other adverse side effects, and, for the past few months, 1 mg of guanfacine. I won’t say that guanfacine has completely eradicated the issue but we see a significant decrease in the aggression. For years we could not leave them in a room alone together but now, for the most part, we can, knowing that they will be safe. This is such a stressful situation and I feel for you.