Emotional dysregulation

[Judemama]

Hi all, I’ve got a 5 year old boy diagnosed about 6 months ago. He is struggling with these epic emotional tornadoes- and cannot be soothed during these episodes by my husband - only by me. it only happens at home and when he’s had bad sleep (that’s another issue)- tonight he could not stop crying and repeating my name over and over and over and no matter what my husband tried he just couldn’t help him. When I came in he calmed down. I just worry about how intense it is and what is happening when he experiences

This. It’s SO INTENSE. Anyone else out there have experience or wisdom about this particular aspect of the diagnosis? What do you do? How do you help? Is something desperately wrong? Thanks so much for reading...

[Polenjbp1]

Hey- my situation isn’t identical, but I want to say solidarity, the emotional intensity is REAL.

My son (8) was just diagnosed with ADHD after THREE YEARS of taking him to 7 mental health professionals (and OT, and multiple pediatricians) because of his epic meltdowns at his private school. Dad and I are both mental health professionals as well. Why did it take so long? Because the meltdowns were the main thing! His attention and activity kind of seemed ok. Only with second grade have we been able to really see how much noise is inside his head. Just started stimulants this week, and so far so amazing! Emotion Regulation is through the roof! Stay the course. You’ve got this. The DSM doesn’t list the executive dysfunction as a core diagnostic feature, but for us that’s been the thing.

[Judemama in reply to Polenjbp1]

Thank you for this! Always helpful to hear- and how differently it can manifest in different kids/people. And solidarity in the MH field! It’s so hard to make sense of it when you’re neck deep in it (and worried). I am a MH prof too (therapist social worker) so the emotional stuff has even more layers knowing what I know about child development. Hang in there. So happy that the meds are helping your boy. God speed!

[Onthemove1971]

Big welcome for joining the group. We are here for you to help guide you on this journey. I know this sounds strange but, I learned to identify what happens before the melt down and avoided it. Our kids struggle so much more in later afternoon and early evening. I used to call it the " witching hour", so I put less demands on our son and when I know it is something he struggles with I adapt it.

One thing I have heard of is right before the meltdown say, I need a break and go take down time. Do everything to avoid the situation. He goes to his space and dad goes to his. Give is 10-15 min. Then come back together. This break is very important. When he is on his own ( before the melt down) he can find something to do and dad can find something else to do.

It is really important to understand, our kids are not like children with out ADHD. They communication with behavior, they don't have the ability to explain what is going on with them. Maybe you make that time of day quiet time or exercise time.

Of course also our kids benefit from 3 tools, thearpy, medication and the educational plan. They all play a role that helps them greatly.

Children go through stages of comfort, right now it is you. Dad has to hang in there and not take it personal.

Hope this helps... many of us have experienced this in the past.

Take care, sorry for the struggles.

[Cjkchamp]

Been there done that! I highly recommend trying a weighted blanket if you haven’t yet. My son finds it very calming and helps him fall asleep at night. I would also recommend you research broad spectrum micronutrients. They were recommends by my son’s psychiatrist and they made all the difference for him.

[Klmamma]

This is where therapy helps. I was a crue for my son and I did remove myself and it was worse at first, but it forced him to learn calm down skills on his own.

I'm 37 and have ADHD and I honestly still struggle with emotional regulation. Not this intense obviously, but anger is still an issue. When I was pregnant it was the worst.

[Triogenemom]

You mention removing yourself from the situation. This sounds like the removal of an accommodation. There is a solid evidence-based training for child anxiety that is strictly parent training to stop the accommodations to foster resilience. It’s called SPACE and came out of Yale. More information here if your curious about it. Glad you’ve found something. Thanks for sharing with us...grateful to you.spacetreatment.net/