Emotional deregulation

[Onthemove1971]

I know that one of the symptoms of having ADHD is emotional deregulation. This is so much more than "getting mad". What happens to us is X and this puts him in a tail spin of not being able to control himself. Then the mood and sometimes stomping. It really takes a lot to calm down.

We spoke about this in our last thearpy session, he asked him is this the hill you want to dye on? If not let it go... I will say most of the time it is as soon as I notice his medication has worn off and I have forgotten to give him the booster. Of course he always comes back and says he is sorry.

One technique I use is taking his phone away and the more he carrie's on I add another day without it. This has really helped, but I really want to find a way to avoid this from happening...

I would love to hear for others what they do. Our son is 13 yrs. Old so I can sometimes say " deep breath"..

What do you guys do?

Thanks!

[MunchkinMommy537]

Deep breaths is a big one for us (but he insists on holding someone’s hands when he does it, which we’re trying to get him to self-calm, so it’s hit or miss). When he gets that bad he’s no longer going n control of his emotions, so I don’t further punish him. My husband has taken away his toys during there times, which I don’t agree with, but overall we’re on the same page. Taking away video games is a big one, also “privileges” (which can be anything other than good, water, shelter, and sleep).

[Elijah1]

Have you consider reading Ross Green's The Explosive Child for some ideas for management?

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Elijah1]

Thanks

[Janice_H]

You always have such great advice for me. What can you do to help remember to stay on schedule with his medication? Can you put a reminder on your phone and have the meds and bottled water close by? Have a talk with your son and let him know how his tantrums are very upsetting to you. Ask him if he can find 2 different ways to handle getting upset (going in his room and punching his pillow, get him a blow up punching bag to whack when he is mad). Let him know those will be the only 2 acceptable ways to get upset from now on. The other thing you can try is when he starts the tantrum, immediately leave the room and do not give him any attention at all until he calms down. Do not show any reaction at all. You can talk about it after he calms down.

[anirush]

We have been practicing breathing exercises with my 13 year old grandson for awhile to calm down but when he gets really angry the train goes off the track and practice goes with it. It is frustrating.