Refusing to take ADHD medicine

[Lapa77]

My 16yr old son refuses to take ADHD meds. In the past we tried a few non- stimulants and unfortunately there were not effective. His psychiatrist wants to prescribe Concerta but my son is unwilling. He is irritable, defiant and stubborn. I’m frustrated and resorting to using “carrots and sticks” around what he most wants. Any parents experiencing this ?Any suggestions? Thanks

[RCJH8610]

This is not uncommon at all for teenagers to not like the effects of ADHD medication. This is because it usually dulls their normal social and outgoing self and makes school less “fun” although it allows them to concentrate on academics, but unfortunately that isn’t always a teens main focus. As a School Counselor many of my students at the high school refuse to take medication because of the way it makes them feel. It helps to have a counselor work with your child to understand their diagnosis and treatment options. They are much more likely to agree to try something if it was a decision they made.

[Lapa77 in reply to RCJH8610]

Makes sense. Thanks for the insight.

[virgo02 in reply to RCJH8610]

Hello. My son just turned 14 and is the same way when he's not on his meds. He takes 2 32mg generic Concerta pills each morning. I don't have problems any more but I'm sure I will when he gets older. I also worry that he won't take them after he's on his own and how that might effect his jobs, relationships etc.. Good luck, I hope it gets better for you.

[anirush]

My grandson is 16 and in the process of getting his license. He knows he will not be allowed behind the wheel without his medication. He forgot to take it once and did not even see a red light, too busy concentrating on other things. Scary!We have him on Wellbutrin and Guanfacine because he also has trouble with anger and depression. Stimulants were a disaster for us.

Good luck.

[Lapa77 in reply to anirush]

Thanks. This is exactly my fear. No meds = no driving.

[Redpanda5]

Hello and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

In reading your post, this stood out to me:

we tried a few non- stimulants and unfortunately there were not effective.

It strikes me that he may be feeling a bit hopeless since he has not experienced success with several medications. That would be frustrating! Teenagers are very hard wired at not giving second chances.

May I suggest a dose of empathy? It may help you get to the root of why he is resisting. Does he feel hopeless? Is he anxious? Finding out the answers to these questions will help get him on board. Tell him you’re so sorry he’s feeling so bad and that he has to deal with this. Say to him things like how frustrating it must be to feel that way and would t it be great if ______________. Ask how it felt about the medication not working. Validate how he is feeling without giving ANY advice. Just listen and let him talk. If he thinks you’re really listening then he’ll talk. Don’t require anything of him in this conversation. This will communicate that you are in his corner.

If he doesn’t open up in the first conversation, keep having empathetic conversations with him until he does. It may take time. Be sincere though. Kids pick up on insincerity.

In one of the later conversations where it seems right, bring up what stimulants are. They are a whole different ballgame than what he has previously taken. Ask if he’ll give them a shot.

I have had a daughter very resistant to any type of help but if she is given empathy, it is the door into her world. I went through Parent Management Training in how to deal with our kids struggles. It was so worth my time because now I support her better. Good luck.

[Lapa77]

Thank you so much for your feedback. I’ll try these suggestions.