My Son Joe

[Gunner1966]

I have a son who is now 19 years old & suffers from ADHD. He finds it hard to show his feelings or take advice from anyone in his family “we are all on his case” We try to tell him it’s because we want the best for him but he ends up shoving it straight down are throats. Hope talking with people in similar circumstances will help my family & give us some ideas.

[Harnessinghope]

Just a random question. Would your son be open to seeing a therapist? Sometimes that is a way to reach a child without the information coming directly from anyone in the family.

It would be important that the therapist uses a cognitive behavioral approach, so that he can be given assignments to work on between sessions and the therapist can ask him about completion of those tasks.

He is in a tough age range.

[Gunner1966 in reply to Harnessinghope]

He had therapy during his schooling, 13 to 16 however not enough sessions as the NHS in our area only had one person & she was part time. When I say to him about getting help he says he does not need it. Trouble is at 19 I can’t make him either. Thanks for the advice though.

[Jimmyk16]

I understand what you're going through. My daughter is 23 years old, she has ADHD and anxiety. I joined this group to learn how I can help her. You can check my post.

Someone here suggested, the same as the social worker I saw, that my daughter is an adult and she makes her own decisions. She will do mistakes and hopefully she will learn from them.

No matter what advice I give her, no matter what style I use, ( I try hard to use my words carefully) she wouldn't like to hear it. She tells me she got it.

It's hard because you know your kid needs help, you know you can help, but you're restricted.

The social worker said that there are only a few things I have control over.

I know this is not what you were looking for. Let's trust things will work out for the kids eventually.

[Gunner1966 in reply to Jimmyk16]

We can only advise, if they only take on 50% then it’s worth it. My problem is I suffered from ADHD when I was young although it didn’t have a name in those days, so you can image two people with ADHD trying to have a conversation. I try to advise how I coped at his age but he’s not listening, gets angry & storms off.

Thanks for the advice

[Klmamma in reply to Gunner1966]

My brother had to learn the hard way. He has a good job, nice house, wife and 3 kids. He still has his moments and you still can't tell him anything though. I will say this, he married a woman with a very strong personality who doesnt take his shit and it has been the best thing for him.

[Klmamma in reply to Klmamma]

He struggled until age 25 I would say. From 19 to 25 was rough for my parents. They eventually had to do tough love and he figured his ish out on his own. He wasn't a law breaker or anything like that. Mostly just poor career choices, things like that. Getting his life together and moving out type things.