Mentally Drained Parent

[Trinidee]

I am at my wits end! My 15 yr ADHD son is draining me mentally. He is stubborn and very manipulative. He doesn’t like to turn in homework and doesn’t seem very interested in school now and in the future. He has an IEP, but he is not 100% committed. Does anyone have any boarding schools or military schools that work with ADHD children?

[Nokilissa]

At first I thought I was in some virtual reality because this is exactly me. Just tonight, I got my son's progress report (sophomore with IEP) and he is failing 3 classes and getting a D in 2... he does have a B in chemistry, so there's that. I was researching boarding schools tonight, especially for adhd with anxiety. I really like Leelenau in Michigan. I'm getting information. Ugh.

[seller]

I can give you some info about boarding schools for ADHD teens. My son was in a school in Utah for 18 months. If you would like to message me, we can chat!

[Mom_of_2 in reply to seller]

Hi, I'm in dealing w/a similar situation myself. I'm desperately in need of a boarding school for my 15 year old son who refuses to go to school. Could you please sent me the information for the school you mentioned? I'd greatly appreciate it.

[Lavender2relax in reply to seller]

What was the boarding school like? I’d like more info in this just in case it comes to that in a few years. I hope not 😔

[seller in reply to Lavender2relax]

Boarding school for kids with ADHD and other challenges is really residential treatment. These are not traditional schools where the kids "board". These facilities provide a safe environment for the kids, with regular therapy as well as a school curriculum. The length of stay ranges from a month to several years.

[Mom1_phoenix_rising]

I feel so alone most of the time, like I’m in a battle with no end. My 15 year old is so defiant has 3 or 4 f’s and the rest are d’s. He has no motivation, no desire to do anything but chat with friends. Last month when he was at his dad’s he got his dad so mad that his dad physically abused him and now it’s even more stressful with child protective services, police, lawyers, courts and lots of therapy. Nothing is working. I would love to know of the school in Utah, or any in Texas. I just need to intervene, before he ruins his future. I love my son and have battled this ADHD with him all his life, but my younger 10 yr old needs to have a normal home too. Any info is welcome. Thanks and God Bless

[anirush]

Did my grandson end up at your house? We are working with his psychiatrist and a school counselor. He is already at odds and feels rejected by his mother. No way would I send him away. He is not violent.

[Mom1_phoenix_rising in reply to anirush]

I totally get it. I have gone back and forth in my head and with therapists about keeping him home or sending him away, especially given what I have been finding out about how his dad has been abusing him not just now but for a while now. However, I have spoken to lots of therapists and all have told me that the kind of help he needs requires a very strict environment and intense therapy and medication to help him do a kind of reset and adjustment so he can cope and live a decent normal life. I don’t want to wait till he's 18 when I won’t have any way to help him. His brother10 yrs old needs this too. Believe me I never would have ever thought I would be talking about this at all, but I have to do something drastic before its too late. Such hard decisions us parents and caregivers have to make. Ugh 😑

[Onthemove1971]

Trinidee- this journey is hard... very hard. Just curious what supports you guys have given your son? I understand that he has an IEP. Does that mean the goals are not being met? Is he in thearpy? What else have you tried?

In our life there was a time when our son didn't really understand that he must do his work and hand it in. I can't tell you what changed other than he is very stable on medications that help him focus and decrease his impulses, he is in thearpy and we balance his life outside of school with opportunities to feel success.

I have said this before, does he have a way to build his confidence? This is so important becuase school is not easy for them.

Can I recommend the Podcast" Parenting ADHD" listening to this has changed.my perspective on ADHD.

Good luck in finding what works for him.

Big hugs!

[OldexperiencedMom]

Trinidee, I'm a 76 year old mother of a 52 year old who is still having the same problems , plus not being able to make friends and social problems. I understand your words...drained. I did achieve absolute success with the Fiengold diet. Go to "Fiengold Diet for ADHD. He published his first book in the 70s. It still works today. On the diet completely my son Shane, was perfect. I recommend. You and other Moms who expect your child/teenager to change are fighting a downhill struggle. The very best solution is prayer and as I was once told by an excellent behavorlist, show him love. More foods that complement the Fiengold diet are available today. It amazed me. However your expression of love is vital for your ADHD child. Hug him, don't ever, ever expect your child to be as other children. Accept their limitations and accept them as they are. I've been thru it all. even today. DIET is the answer. Seek out the Fiengold society.

[Hidden in reply to OldexperiencedMom]

A lot of wisdom in that answer. Thank you.

[Janice_H]

Hello, I completely understand how you feel. You are describing my 12 yo boy. He does the exact same things. He gets mad at homework time and uses every excuse not to do it. He will say he has no homework and I later find work that is past due. He has an IEP but like you, I do not feel he is 100% committed to his schooling. Many days he will not go to his special education sessions because he says it is boring. Instead he will go to study hall to play with friends.

I have no advice on boarding schools but hope you are able to find something suitable for your son and hope you are feeling better about life very soon.