Behavioral impact on siblings

[DCworkingmom]

My 9 YO's impulsive behavior and aggressiveness is really wearing on all of us - of greatest concern is that his two younger brothers don't want to be around him and say they hate him. They resent that I spend a lot of time with him - either disciplining him or soothing him. How have others handled this?

[Crunchby]

Trying reading or listening to 'The explosive Child'. There is a shorten audio version. It talks a lot about how to handle sibling issues. website is: livesinthebalance.org (i think it's org?) Hugs

[Hidden]

DC Working Mom.

While our son with ADHD is the youngest not the oldest, I guess we are a little different situation.....but I feel worth mentioning.

My wife and I have five sons aged 20-11, four at home and one off in college. Our two youngest were adopted in 2006, and there was an extended period of adjustment to life with ADHD, that's for sure. I guess the day we began educating ourselves and treating him as one with severe ADHD and not "normal" like us (I know...agreed), life as a family began to stabilize somewhat. Being the youngest has helped, as he really looks up to his brothers.

In our situation, the burden is really on the rest of the family to provide a positive and nurturing environment for him. This does not allow him a blank check, he must do his part too. He just has a separate level of accountability. It has taken lots of frank family discussions at the dinner table and this has helped his older brothers learn to act more knowledgeable, mature and accepting towards him. The older brothers had to "buy in" with the fact that he is going to be different throughout life and it's up to them to take ownership and help. That's key. I have made it very clear over and over that their Mom and I are not going to be here forever and they will be required to carry the torch for him throughout their lives. The only way this works for us is with good family structure, a strong faith in God, and strong willed and loving supervisors, aka Mom and Dad.